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Why let him come to you after a break up ?
Why let him come to you after a break up ?
The thrill of the chase is a phrase you would have heard before.
This is so true about men and relationships.
It is also why let him come to you a break up.
Men are hunter gatherers at heart. Great apes if you will.
And most are none too smart.
When it comes to emotional intelligence feelings and relationships either.
Plenty of men have no idea what they want until they’ve had it and then lost it.
This feeds into why let him come to you after a break up.
When it comes to learning from our mistakes.
We have to make them first.
Even though we may not be the first to make them.
And for that matter it may not be the last time we make those same mistakes.
As for being told how to avoid making them.
That might just be more than we wanted to hear.
It goes some of the way to explain why let him come to you after a break up.
After a break up, the thoughts going through his mind are telling him that you will send a text.
You are going to call him any second now or do anything to get him back.
He wants to think you will cry, crawl and beg for him to come back.
That’s why when you do the opposite it will leave him scratching his head.
You can use reverse psychology to let him come to you after a break up.
And that essentially is why let him come to you after a break up.
The first thing you have to realize is that if you chase him, that’s not the way to catch him.
Because that’s his purpose in life and role in the relationship.
By initiating contact, and making the moves for you both to get back together is not letting him come to you after a break up.
You will only push him further away.
I know that you might want to prove your love by fighting for him to stay.
But in doing so you will be fighting a losing battle.
This could be to do with the stigma towards women when it comes to putting themselves out there.
If women do it, they are considered desperate and crazy.
But men are expected to initiate and make their interest known.
It’s Why let him come to you after a break up because it is in their DNA or personality make up.
You have to believe he likely already misses you.
There’s a very high chance that if you’re missing him, he’s also missing you.
It is incredibly common for people just out of a relationship to feel like they’re obsessing over what they’ve just lost.
So if you’re feeling like you just can’t stop thinking about him, there’s a really good chance he’s feeling like he just can’t stop thinking about you, either.
If he is the one who left then you then you can under no circumstances go after him.
It will only make you look desperate clingy and needy.
Not a good look for anyone.
Tears and begging might get him back but that’s only a short-term fix.
Besides he would probably tell I knew you were going to do that or I could have told you that.
He should come back only if he still loves you and cares for you.
Sympathy and guilt are not feelings that you can build a long term dependable relationship on.
Nor do you want to.
Love is a drug
Realize that a successful relationship has the same effects as chemical drug dependence.
By that I don’t mean that a successful relationship makes the two of you addicted to each other, nor is it unhealthy.
They definitely have a great number of similarities between the two.
But successful relationships do connect you two with endorphins, dopamine and serotonin and other brain chemicals.
They give you a natural high and make you feel better about life.
Which can be a pretty addictive feeling.
So when you and your ex split, you both go through the same withdrawal symptoms.
And those loving brain chemicals cease to course through your body.
You both may have been a bit irritable depressed, lethargic, and down right sad.
All of that is natural, and easily explained by the loss of the elation connection you each felt when things were going well.
Reminders for Why let him come to you after a break up
Having mutual friends to steer his thoughts back toward the good times he had with you is another weapon in your arsenal.
This is true even if he’s just jumped straight into a rebound relationship.
Often times guys will do that because they think it will help keep them from feeling the pain of missing you, or will help them replace you.
It might for a while.
But just as often, if the two of you had something special it only serves as a reminder of the good thing he’s missing.
People who are involved in both of your lives will comment and talk, regardless of your wishes.
There are even some who will go back and forth between the two of you.
Offering their helpful opinions and advice about your situation.
Relaying the thoughts and comments each of you have mentioned.
Use those well intentioned meddling people and their communication skills to your advantage.
Tell them what you want him to know because they will surely pass it on.
Think of it as a battle of propaganda.
Tell them that it was his choice to walk away and that you have to respect it regardless of your feelings.
Tell them you will have to move on because that’s clearly what he wants.
And you have no other choice but to be happy with yourself first .
At least that bit of information is not propaganda it is the truth.
Then possibly one day soon with somebody else.
Or even that there is a new and hot prospect in the periphery of your vision and how excited you are feeling.
This information will trigger something inside of him. Firing up the chase mode.
He will realize he will lose you for good if he doesn’t act immediately.
This is the bottom line of why let him come to you after a break up, rather than chase after him.
Everything that happens after a break-up has to happen on his initiative or so he thinks.
He has to establish contact.
He has to make room for you in his life again and he may think you do too.
Even though he is probably smarting from your absence.
If it was his decision to leave.
It should seem like his decision to come back.
If you still want him back and if you are ready to give him a second chance after all that you have been through.
Control your emotions and let him come to you after a break up
Being able to control your emotions and avoiding all contact will be beneficial for you.
Controlling your emotions is an important factor in letting him to come to you after the break up.
By overcoming the need (remember you both are in the grips of post relationship withdrawal symptoms) to reach out and contact.
Which can be very strong especially at this point, it sparks an equally strong reaction of curiosity in his mind.
It also demonstrates a show of strength and will power.
When he sees that you are not reaching out, he can’t help but wonder why.
His mind will race with the possibilities why and what are the reasons and causes.
And that’s no harm for you.
It’s a benefit he may put you in scenarios that you have not considered.
He will want to know where you are at and what’s happening in your life when he is not around.
Sadly, the best way to make him miss you is for him to think you are no longer an option and just out of reach.
Remember « the one that got away » is also a commonly told story by hunters and fishermen.
It’s also Why let him come to you after a break up.
I know it’s tempting to push the process and try to make it go by faster.
But resist this urge it is counterproductive.
The best thing you can do is let it all happen naturally if you do that, he will begin to chase.
It may not happen as quickly as you’d like it to, but it will happen.
It takes varying amounts of time for a guy to miss you.
Why you should let him come to you after a break up takes place.
Cliches are cliches for a reason they tend to be true generally speaking.
It does tend to be true that men and women process breakups differently.
There are clichés that women cry into a tub of ice cream with a duvet and watch romantic comedies on the couch.
Men go out, party and sleep with as many new women as possible.
Women tend to deal with their emotions early on.
While most men suppress them.
With that knowledge in mind all you need to do is wait.
And why you let him come to you after a break up.
What does that mean?
It basically means you can’t make the object of your desire the center of your life or attention.
Your ex needs to know that you have other things going on in your life that take priority over him.
And you are number one on the list.
You don’t want him to think he is the center of your universe. It can be suffocating and too much pressure for anyone.
Regardless of whether you think or feel that way.
Let him think maybe, you think you are better off without him.
Think about it. When he’s doing the chasing.
You’re taking a passive position, unless you are actively running away.
You are in the position of power.
You know where he stands, but are not expending the same amount of effort.
But how do you get there?
Now you might begin to see why you let him come to you after a break up.
The next move is in communication by text messages.
You see, if a guy really is interested, you won’t have to do much work here at all.
They’ll take care of it for you.
He will make an effort to show you that he is interested.
And why let him come to you after a break up
All you have to do is:
- Respond, not right away but in a timely manner.
- Be your usual and charming self.
- Avoid coming off too strong emotionally or obvious in your responses.
- Embody the powerful feeling of the powerful being you want to portray.
- So embrace it, and prepare to be chased.
- When you are being chased, it’s not a sprint it’s a long distance run, so don’t give in after the first lap.
Don’t respond to him right away.
You’re a busy woman, make him wait until you have a free moment.
Even if you are not busy.
If you are too available, it signals desperation, which is not attractive.
Don’t double text. If you don’t get a response, don’t follow up.
Wait a few days and try again.
Maintain a little mystery during conversations while on the phone.
Don’t give it all away, right away.
Remember the thrill of the chase is about the build up and why let him come to you after a break up.
It is about the time taken beating around the bush, savouring and putting off the gratification of desire.
The art of seduction rather than the race to the finish.
Maintaining an aura of mystery or secrecy will be alluring and make your ex want to spend more time with you.
If he pulls back, your impulse may be to push to get him interested again but don’t follow that thread.
Instead, bide your time, keep yourself busy and find something else to occupy you.
On meeting up or “dates”
This aura of mystery should also be used in meeting up when the opportunity arises.
Again dont be seen to be too keen.
Maintain a lax attitude towards attendance and availability.
Making and meeting on occasion, but leaving some early on a pretence.
Or making and breaking other arrangements.
Even make excuses for unavailability though you may have nothing to do whatsoever.
This shows once more the picture of an alluring mysterious and strong independent woman.
One who is not freely or readily available at the drop of a hat.
This will feed into his chase mode.
And will prove Why let him come to you after a break up.
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com