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Why do I want my ex back : 12 reasons

Why do I want my ex back?

Could it be lost love.

Or it could just be a love of what you’ve lost.

It could be based on real genuine mutual feelings.

Or it could be the confusion of break up thinking.  

Either way it will all feel very real to you right now.

Why do I want my ex back let’s look at 12 reasons


The natural reaction to the breakup experience is to do everything in your power to undo the damage.

To change the outcome of the apparent failure.

And your mind will support these thoughts whole heartily and so will you heart.

After the break-up, what if you think you want your former beloved back?

This is always tempting, especially if you are still in the throes of dopamine deficiency.

All those feel good chemicals that course through the brain.

When you are in a loving relationship.

Gone but not forgotten, have left you feeling low and depressed.

And you can believe your ex will fix that, make you feel better.


If you feel yourself wanting someone back.

If you desire the sensitive touch of someone you know.

And you once had but no longer have.

Of course you are going to think about wanting your ex back.


But if you realize the reasons pertaining to why do I want my ex back.

They may appear from different sources.


Do you miss who your ex was as a person ?

Like a real friend or just a sexual partner ?

Or do you just miss having someone to love?

Do you miss the deep conversations and the challenges that came with the relationship ?

Or do you miss the ease of not having to find someone new to do this with?


We tend to love the exhilaration that comes with making up.

The intensity of seeing someone we once had.

And no longer do.

It forces us to reconsider our decision in a way that can make us compromise ourselves.


At one point, it did work.

It worked at the beginning in the honeymoon phase.

So maybe starting again might be the answer?

Maybe going back to the beginning is all it takes.

But in reality you can’t go back to the beginning.

You know too much about each other to start there.

It would be starting a new relationship with an old flame.

One where and with whom you got previously burnt.


If you’ve decided that second chance with an ex is worth it.

Just make sure to approach the relationship with the right process and mindset.

One partner leaving the other creates an environment of distrust.

Which will manifest itself later in other issues.

Like a lack of emotional availability, coldness, a disinterest in what makes you happy.

And other little pleasant things that help to maintain a relationship.


This process involves having some honest conversations about what went wrong the first time.

Why one person left, and how things will be different the second time.

If you’ve spent some time apart which is near essential.

And you both have had time to think about what the issues.

Which are within each of you and within the relationship.

That were creating problems and prompted the split.

And after all that you both are still convinced in your hearts that this is the right thing for you both to do.

Then I think it could certainly be worth it to try a second time.

Just be ready to tackle those issues openly, honestly, and compassionately.


The reasons Why do I want my ex back

1. Why do I want my ex back is it remorse for the lost love?

Some people have the annoying habit of only wanting what they cannot have.

Like a spoilt child wanting other children’s toys.

If you have moved on and got on with your life, maybe even found a new partner.

Then someone who had previously left you might begin to be interested again.

They want you to want them, but the minute that you do they’ll likely go cold on you again.

The best way to handle this is to not get involved with them at all.

This behavior is codependent, unhealthy, and will make you feel crazy.

But then again, maybe that is your role.

You only want what you have lost and know you can’t have.


2. Why do I want my ex back : I am ready to compromise

If you’re really ready to give the relationship one hundred percent and you believed you previously only gave fifty .

When it comes to successful relationships, compromising is something that is essential.

Perhaps the first time around you were selfish.

Maybe you required your partner to compromise more, but you yourself were stuck in your ways.

In order for the relationship to start off on the right foot the second time around.

You have to be willing to give and take just a bit.

Giving up anything that is detrimental to your core values is definitely not an area for compromise.

But something as simple as putting your partner’s feelings into consideration can make a huge difference when it comes to getting back together.


3. Why do I want my ex back because needs be.

It is not about wanting them back but needing them back and needs trump wants.


4. Why do I want my ex back is it the wish to make things right or guilt ?

Having the feeling that you really screwed up can make you want your ex back.

The guilty person making amends might want to repair the damage that has been caused.

The breakup could have solely been their fault and want to take action to repair the bad behavior.

Having a plan of action that addresses the issues that caused bad behavior is good start.

Sometimes that can mean ditching social media, switching jobs, attending therapy, or going to rehab.


5. Why do I want my ex back to replace the feelings you had

A healthy relationship is like an addiction.

Research has shown that loving couples release dopamine in the brain making them feel good together.

When the relationship finishes it stops flowing leaving you feeling low lonely and depressed.

Perhaps you just want those feelings back


6. Why do I want my ex back were they “the one”

You may feel like the knew you inside and out.

And that they completed you like no one else did.

If that is the case you may feel that you want a second chance.


7. Why do I want my ex back do you feel there is no one else for you

This is about feeling that you will never meet someone else like them or any one for that matter.

And that is wrong and definitely the wrong reason to get back in a relationship with them.

If you are thinking this way you are being prompted by a scarcity mindset.

That there is a scarcity of significant others out there for you.

Perhaps you had trouble meeting someone and that is prompting you thoughts that way.


8. Why do I want my ex back perhaps you believe in second chances

In the greater scheme of things this is a great reason to try.

As it takes effort on both sides to make it work.

And effort from only one side is more or less doomed to failure.

As one half of the partnership will end up doing more than the other.

Who said you can’t give someone a second chance?

There is no set rule that states second chances are off limits in a relationship.

It’s up to you to decide if giving it another shot is the best choice for you.

Maybe you or your partner made a mistake.

And you both are able to learn from it, forgive, and move forward.

If you two are dedicated to working on your relationship and willing to give it another chance, then go for it.


9. Why do I want my ex back our priorities were off balance before

There are wants and there are needs and sometimes you can’t always get what you want.

Needs are the items you cannot live without, whereas wants are wish list extras.

Maybe you confused what you wanted with what you needed.

Which is someone emotionally and financially supportive, nurturing, understanding.

Basically, your priorities were off.

For instance, your ex’s unconventional career path may not a deal breaker, but a difference.

If your state of mind has evolved, and overall your ex made you really happy the path may be worth retreading.


10. Why do I want my ex back you found yourself comparing every date to them

You’ve likely dated since your breakup, especially if it’s been a while.

And some of those potential suitors may have had some bad traits.

If you’re finding that you could put up with your ex’s bad habits better than those of the new peoples.

It’s a good sign you should reach out to them.

Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.

You realize that your ex and their bad habits or whatever they did in the relationship are tolerable.

Once people date other people they begin to see that everyone has baggage and bad habits.

You have to know what you’ll be OK with and what you won’t.

Obviously those first few dates are tough.

But if you’re still comparing dates to your ex and finding that they don’t stack up.

It’s a good sign you should consider making up.


11. Why do I want my ex back :  You realize the reason you broke up can be fixed.

There may not have been a huge catalyst that led to your break up.

But there were probably a few big issues that factored into your decision to split.

Although these problems may have seemed insurmountable at the time.

With some distance removed from your relationship.

You may find yourself coming up with some simple solutions to these issues.

Sometimes challenges in relationships feel like a bigger deal in that moment than they are.

Once you step back from the situation and pause.

You see that maybe with better communication and a stronger commitment the two of you can get through it.

Give it serious thought as to whether or not you’re willing and able to work through these issues.

If you are sure that you have an answer that will allow you to be with this person happily again, that’s a great sign.


12. Why do I want my ex back your mind has changed

If you ditched the relationship because you weren’t feeling happy, loved, or fulfilled.

That’s not something to brush aside easily just because you can’t find anyone better.

Or because good dates are hard to find.

That’s a terrible reason to get back together.

It’s important not to get back together based on scarcity of significant others.

The critical question to ask is « what has changed? ».

If you broke up for reasons along the lines of « I’m young, I should get out there and date while I can, ».

There’s no harm in re-assessing your feelings now that you’ve played the field a bit.

Who knows, spending some quality time dating may have helped you realize what you had in your ex.

And that your ex is actually what you’ve been looking for all along.


The best reason to get back with an ex is because you both want to be together again.

And that whatever it was that caused you to break-up in the first place has been resolved.

The worst reason is because one or both of you are lonely and there’s no-one else available.

Or you’re jealous because you can’t bear the thought of them being with anyone else.


Whatever you do, take time to think it over before you make a final decision.

Be wary of  taking an ex back more than once.

If they keep dumping you and you keep taking them back it’s unlikely that a lasting relationship will ever develop.


Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site

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