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What is the 5-branch Star Theory to forget your ex ?


 

 

We are all familiar with people who have gone through a break up.

And ones in which it is hard to forget your ex.

The thoughts about them seem to linger.

The relationship is over, hopes of reconciliation may have been exhausted.

All communication has perhaps stopped.

And yet the ex retains a special place in the stricken one’s heart unable to forget your ex.

Could this be a good thing how do you go about ?

 

In our apparent reluctance to let go of an ex,

we may be holding on to our capacity to love and the feeling of being loving.

Like a survival instinct our hearts will still pump our lungs will still breathe.

And yes our souls will still  love though we may feel heart broken.

We can still feel love perhaps even for the loved one who is no longer beloved.

We may not be able to stand the sight of them or even be in the same room as them.

But yet in our hearts we can be compassionate towards them.

 

To forget your ex who has been loved is never easy.

Even breaking up can bring many to a state of depression.

Destroying a shared future and leaving you single and in the dumps.

Not least to say at some stages dumped.

Especially if it was an unwelcome surprise or a complete shock.

 

This can add to the feeling that life as you know it is over.

You may feel like there is nothing left of yourself.

It is a common feeling to those who have been subject to a hard break up.

Studies have shown that there are similarities to post break up feelings and substance withdrawal.

In a healthy relationship there are brain chemicals that are released.

To give you that feel good feelings.

 

Massive amounts of dopamine and norepinephrine are in play,

and many of the same brain pathways and structures are active.

When we are falling in love as when abusing substances.

So when that all stops it is no wonder we can feel like shit.

Lack of motivation self esteem plummets our demeanor changes.

And we suffer withdrawal to all intents and purposes.

 

So what can we do to get over the situation and forget your ex ?

Luckily we have the five branch star theory to forget your ex.

 

  1. Stop all contact
  2. Treat yourself to the love you deserve
  3. Accept the break up
  4. Recover and regain self sufficiency and self esteem.
  5. Start to learn to love again

 

Number One To forget your ex

 

Stop all contact

This is probably already in action,

as a lot of people after a break up would stay away from the ex.

There are a number of reasons and also a number of outcomes from this.

The reasons are simple enough as a damage limitation means.

 

I mean if you are still head over heels in love with the ex.

Seeing them is only going to hurt more and set your recovery back each time you do so.

So the best thing to do is not to see the ex for some time.

 

You may also want to cut off all electronic contact as well.

Like not answering their calls emails and social media contact including all types of messengers.

None of it will be helpful to forget your ex or move on.

 

It will not be easy at first you will be tempted to answer those calls and mails.

But if you really want to move on it is something you have to commit to.

Each time you answer them you are likely to put any progress you have made back.

You may as well go back to square one and feel like it is day one post break up.

 

Common wisdom and practice is to purge all their traces from your life.

Taking down any photographs that they are in and removing all tiny reminders.

It could be that they left clothes or that you still wear some of theirs.

It could be the souvenirs or trinkets bought on shared holidays.

If you do not wish to throw them out donate them to charity.

 

But it is thought best practice to clear out the closet as they say.

You will feel better from even clearing out the closets.

It is a cleansing ritual giving you a new lease on life and turning over a new leaf.

It can mark a new chapter in your life.

 

It could also be taken a step further, to a total redecoration of your living space.

Painting your rooms in a color that you like will give you the clean break.

It will also help you to occupy your time in a way that will put distance between you and your ex.

 

Number Two To forget your ex

 

Treat yourself as you deserve.

 

Now immediately after a break up this might be interpreted differently.

It could mean different things to different people.

To one it could mean a pint of ice cream

and a box set of movies or television shows and a box of tissues.

To another it could mean a rake of pints and attempts at one night stands and meaningless sex.

But really in our context it is all about the care and attention that you are missing.

 

Sure you need to get over the emotions

and that will take its own time and form for each person.

But after the individuals slump has been done it is time to get back to normality.

And that means treating yourself to get yourself back to normal.

 

It means finding the power within yourself to regain your self esteem.

It means understanding that the choices of your ex are not reflections on you but them.

You can not take their choices and decisions on yourself.

It is not your personal failure that the relationship has broken up.

 

So lift up you head and walk tall or at least learn to walk tall again.

Give yourself a spa treatment in regards to your mind body and your soul.

You could get a new style of haircut or some new clothes to re vamp your look.

You could get yourself to the gym to work out those leftover negative thoughts.

 

Working out has been shown to be very beneficial to those suffering depression.

And that is likely some like what you feel after a break up.

It also has the added benefits of helping you to look and feel better about yourself.

Taking care of yourself is the primary goal here.

Sure we all let go a little after a break up but that should not last for very long.

Now it is time to instigate the antidote to being dumped.

Showing that you love yourself and that you are lovable is essential for you.

It is true what they say after all,

If you can’t learn to love yourself how is anyone else supposed to love you !

 

Number Three To forget your ex

 

Accept the break up

 

This could be a little out of order in terms of importance and procedure here.

But to forget your ex will take time and persistence.

There will be days when it may seem like it will never happen

and then again there will be days when it could seem like you are just there.

Then there can be days when it seems like it all floods back.

 

Their favorite movie is on the television and that song is on the radio.

You might even find an item of clothing that escaped the purge.

To seemingly put you back to day one post break up.

Be patient to forget your ex.

 

There will be times when you feel weaker than others but time heals all wounds.

And this kind of thing is never going to be absolute.

It is not like one day you will wake up and go what was his or her name who was I trying to forget ?

It does not work like that so be patient and gentle with yourself.

In getting over the painful memories.

Accepting the break up is essential to moving on in a complete and final way.

 

Number Four to forget your ex

 

Recover and regain self sufficiency and self esteem.

 

It probably has elements that run through all of the five branches of the stars theory.

But it bares repeating on its own.

For a complete recovery it is necessary to regain your self hood.

You need to find that place within yourself that knows and is able to be single and OK with it.

It is not a shame that someone rejects us tho it is hard.

It is nothing that should affect our own happiness.

Recovery from a break up includes the realization that may be the opinion of one person.

It is not a fact or the opinion shared by the other eight billion people on the planet.

 

Many of whom would be single,

so when you think of it like that you have so many options out there.

Self esteem can take a beating in a break up.

Now is the time to recover your value to yourself and the rest of the world.

Rediscover your self sufficiency in everything you do.

You could take that adventure holiday that you may have put off,

because someone else did not want to go on it.

It could be learning a new skill or language it could be dance lessons.

These types of things will not only take up your time helping to forget your ex.

But also give your mind something else to think about and focus on.

 

This is also about realizing there are people who love you regardless.

Family and friends are a network of support to you in this time of need.

So access them and take comfort in their love and understanding.

They can help you to recover and see not only your value and worth.

But also as an aid to find and have fun once again.

That is an essential element to finding yourself after a break up.

To find your joy your love of life and your passion again.

Perhaps in trying some new things like dancing or a new skill you realize you have hidden talents.

And a real passion for it that you never thought you would.

Now is the time to engage in self discovery and recovery in the process.

 

Number Five to forget your ex

 

Start to learn to love again

 

Once you have been through the first four

and you are starting to feel the freedom and joy of being single.

You will probably already have suitors lining up.

Confidence and independence are very attractive qualities.

 

Being able to enjoy life and being happy with yourself

will make you shine in others eyes.

It probably  is time to start to consider dating again.

Whether you are looking for a serious relationship or just a bit of fun is up to you.

You could take it easy at the start just going out with friends.

Without any expectations other than just to have a good time.

 

And that is totally acceptable once again be patient with yourself in that respect.

There are no hard and fast rules to getting back on the dating scene.

The main thing is to have fun and enjoy yourself in whatever company you happen to be.

There is plenty of pushy advice out there.

I’m sure that even one of your friends may have given you some.

Like jump back in the saddle that is all well and good for fallen cyclists and jockeys.

But it might not work for you.

 

There are some who suggest that you go on a dating marathon of epic proportions.

To date as many people as you can in order to forget your ex.

Well if that is your thing off you go, but just be considerate of the other person’s feelings.

They could be looking for a serious relationship while you have some fun.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

Poursuivre avec un autre article ?

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  • Forget my ex : 5 tips to never think about your ex
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