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The Yes or No game to remain friends with your ex


 

Opinions vary on whether you can or not.

Remain friends with your ex after a relationship.

Of course it is all relative to your situation and feelings on the matter.

Then there is the ex’s feelings and opinions on the matter to consider.

All this consideration whether you can remain friends with your ex can be dizzying.

And can make things very complicated as if they were not already…

 

So we here at Get My Ex Back have managed to inject a bit of fun into it.

By turning it into a game of yes and no questions and answers to ask in order to tell.

And to find out if it is possible for you to remain friends with your ex or not.

 

Some ground rules

It does require that you and your ex are completely honest with yourselves.

Lying is an automatic disqualification.

There is no right or wrong answer unless you make it so.

And I know it says it is a yes or no game.

But as with most things in relationships some answers may fall into a maybe category.

Which in the end should probably be considered a no to all intents and purposes.

Just to be clear yes means yes and no means no.

The result would be based on a percentile average.

That must be matched by your ex in order to be conducive.

As per usual errors and omissions excepted terms and conditions apply .

But the main thing is it is just a bit of fun well that is the idea….

 

Feelings 

So the first set of questions are based on the feelings of the parties involved.

The feelings in question can make or break friendships, relationships hell it can even sink ships.

But seriously if there are still lingering feelings in the background.

For one or both of the partners this can spell trouble pain and suffering for both.

You must recall the time you spent getting over the break up.

 

Have I stopped fixating on this person?

 

If you are considering that to remain friends with your ex.

Is just a good way to keep a closer eye on them.

Then the answer should probably be no here.

After a breakup there is a period of time people go through that is somewhat like an obsession.

Where the relationship and the ex may be the only thing you can think about talk about.

And sometimes you can barely sleep without them on your mind.

If that is the case then no should be your answer.

Get some space and time to fill your life with other things and get over it.

 

When I think about him/her, do I feel neutral?

 

This is essential if you are to remain friends with your ex.

And this should apply to both parties in the ex relationship in equal measure.

Any other however small doubt or deviation off neutral feelings could end in disaster.

Reliving the post break up nightmare.

 

Can I talk about them without crying or becoming emotional?

 

Well em this one speaks for itself if you can not talk about them without getting emotional.

Then it is best not try even to remain friends with your ex.

More time and space to gain stability is needed here.

And why exactly are you playing this game glutton for punishment ?

 

How does your Ex feel about you?

 

This is a question that they would have to answer for themselves.

You may have an idea or an inkling on the matter.

But the may not be the whole and nothing but the truth if not so help you ..

 

Really  Relationships Reasons

 

Do you have valid and platonic reasons to remain friends ?

 

This is an important one beyond the feelings that should be lacking.

The reasons to remain friends with your ex.

I mean they should be the same kind of reasons for a normal friend.

It is important because you have to have them in order to want to do this.

They must fit into your life like a snug jigsaw piece rather than a square peg jammed in a round hole.

It should feel seamless and effortless rather than forced.

Other wise you are fooling yourself and others about it.

 

Will it  ‘Complicate’ things or enrich both of your lives ?

 

Having a history together means that trying to remain friends with your ex,

could get funky rather than just plain platonic fun.

Is it going to be hard work or a joy for you both because it should be a joy.

 

How did the relationship end  ?

 

This will feed into the overall general feeling of the attempt to remain friends with your ex.

I mean if it  ended in disaster.

That you were lucky one of you did not end up going to prison.

Then that does not really bode well for a friendship.

If on the other hand it ended in a whimper that went almost unnoticed.

Then the friendship could be just as much plain sailing for you both.

 

Who broke up with whom ?

 

It might indicate latent feelings on the part of a reluctant ex.

Who is living in hope that to remain friends with your ex might have it’s benefits.

Like sextra curricular activities.

 

Do you both understand and accept the reasons you broke up ?

 

If there is the need on someone’s part to find closure on the relationship.

It may have an affect on the ability to be friends.

If however the post break up analysis was in depth and complete for both parties.

Then by all means remain friends with your ex is an option.

 

Ideas

 

Has enough time passed ?

 

As the adage says time heals all wounds.

So it is partly true with lovers who wish to remain friends with your ex.

You both need to be clear on the state of the union and its passing in to history.

 

Is your objective in remaining friends with your Ex purely platonic?

 

This is an obvious trick question that you have to answer yes.

Unless you have other ideas that the ex might not have any interest in.

These ideas that one ex partner might look to change the others mind.

About the break up is a bad idea.

Misunderstanding the intentions and the object to remain friends with your ex.

Can put you back to square one in regards to the getting over a heartache or moving on.

In that case the idea of trying to remain friends with your ex is a road to suffering and pain.

 

Does remaining Friends With Your Ex benefit your life?

 

This should be a many faceted yes if you are to remain friends with your ex.

It is what friends are all about.

They lift you up when you are down and you do the same for them.

There are snags though the sly benefits of history.

And the easy old familiar seductive bedside manner of been there done that.

Does that sound familiar.

 

Was the break up drawn out and on and off again ?

 

Then read that trying to remain friends with your ex someone may be keeping their options open.

Which is neither here nor there in terms of morality these days.

But there is still the suffering associated with a break up happening again for one or both of you.

 

Emotions

 

Can you achieve some objective distance?

 

We love friends and family differently to lovers.

Well the exception being royal families.

But we care for them in somewhat similar ways.

Objectivity is needed to try remain friends with your ex.

So as to not get drawn in to the tangled web that lovers weave.

If you can not maintain some amount of objectivity.

Then the suggestion may be that there is some feelings that have not gone.

 

Am I over him/her and what we had?

 

In order to remain friends with your ex the relationship must be over and done with.

If the friends are not to fall out or in to bed.

If this answer is no then go back to square one and do the moving on thing again.

 

Can you forgive and forget ?

 

Some splits there is no coming back from and there are some that you may barely notice.

To remain friends with your ex you need to be somewhat towards the latter end of the scale.

For it to work.

Or at least to be worth attempting.

If someone is harboring a grudge or worse it could get real or even real nasty.

Not something you want to think about or indulge in …

 

Network

 

If he/she wasn’t my partner, would they be the kind of person I would normally hang out (not hook up) with?

 

Just because you do not want to break up a good social group after a break up.

Is no good reason to try remain friends with your ex.

If however you were friends previously and other factors are all in line.

Like emotional maturity, intelligence and so on are taken as a given.

Then remain friends with your ex you will have a richer life with them in it.

 

Dating

 

Does the thought of this person being with someone else make me feel genuinely happy for them?

 

This has to be answered yes in order to proceed further to remain friends with your ex.

Any other answer means return to square one and start again.

It can be no other way it may be that they are already dating someone or else they may soon start.

If you are not completely over them this will cause hurt like a son of a…

Move on find new friends and I suggest leaving the past in the past.

 

Are you ok with seeing them dating ?

 

This is a cruncher if you have any doubts about this one.

Then it is a recipe for disaster and pain to try remain friends with your ex.

If in doubt this answer defaults to no and do not do it.

 

Does your Ex’s partner know about you?

Are they in a relationship currently ?

Can you meet your Ex’s current partner ?  

Does the current Significant other know about you ?

Have they been above board about you to them ?

 

All these questions go to show proof of an honesty and openness.

That is required for their relationship.

And for your friendship to blossom in the light rather than creep in the shade.

If this is not the case warning pitfalls ahead.

Honey traps or possible irritation with irate partners could be on the cards.

If it is later discovered that you two friends were once and item .

 

Secrets

 

Do I genuinely like them as a person?

 

Are they generally an addition a plus to your life ?

Do you see yourselves hanging out together or secretly imagine hooking up in your dreams ?

Are there interests you share and continue to share or is it a case of absolutely nothing in common ?

Friends usually bond over interests like common musical tastes for example or a love of movies.

Or similar political or intellectual ideas these types of things are the glue that bonds friends together.

If there are significant and numerous areas in which you share then remain friends with your ex.

You obviously have a lot to talk about beyond your failed relationship.

 

Can you forego all attraction ?

 

Because it was once a thing you had together, does not necessarily mean it is dead and buried.

Does the idea of a drunken fumble bring a sparkle to your eye or leave you cold ?

Because that is a very distinct possibility if you are to hang out.

Can you resist that temptation or is the idea laughable ?

If the answer is a resounding and honest yes.

Then you may pass remain friends with your ex.

You may succeed in this trial by fire and win a new old friend.

There’s a quote you might have seen floating around social media:

« ‘We can still be friends’ is like saying ‘The dog died, but we can still keep it.' »

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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