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What to do when I am still in love with my Ex


« I’m still in love with my ex… »

Do you feel there are no reasons for you to go on?

If you have lost the love of your life, has the break up also destroyed your love of life ?

With so much confusion on the issue and with so many questions you can feel overwhelmed.

And if you are still in love with them you have add to that one more serious question.

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex ?

 

It is possible to begin to live again a fulfilling life even after a painful breakup.

You need to start to see things in a positive light.

As hard that may be or as impossible as it may sound.

“There is no positive light in this situation !” I can hear you say and you could be right.

Well you are reading this, you are alive, you may even be healthy.

You may know someone in a far worse situation than yours.

 

Consider the myriad of possibilities and chances that you have before you.

Ask yourself has the break up left you only with negativity?  

Is there nothing positive left in your life.

There has to be positive things in your life.

They are there you just need to look and you will see some.

The more you look the more you will see.

Is reconciliation or the possibility of loving again completely and utterly out of the question?

I’m sure  by now you have also heard “you need to get over it” a thousand or a thousand million times.  

But it still seems an impossible task. The separation causes incredible heartache.

To care so much about someone, to still feel bound to them.

While at the same time being urged by everyone around you to move on.

It can seem that those around you while trying to help, are giving you good advice.

You didn’t ask for it or can’t take it at the moment.  

They just don’t understand your situation as it stands.

The thing is, that it is time to realise that you do need to move on regardless.

By doing whatever that means for you and you alone.

You are going to have to take those steps.

Even If you are still in love with your Ex and not sure what to do ?

 

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 1.

Focus on loving yourself.

There is no getting away without doing this step.

It’s mandatory and beneficial in both moving on or if you mean to start the relationship again.

You have to embody the fact that you are important and you love yourself regardless of the recent events .

It also proves the point if you cannot love yourself first, you just cannot love someone else.

If you have suffered from self esteem issues or still suffer from them.

Now is the time to deal with them.

You cannot start again or a new relationship dragging those issues in toe.

They have to be worked on and worked out to some degree.

Remembering that nobody is perfect and self development is an ongoing and never ending process.

This area also requires patience with yourself and the progress that you achieve.

 

Be proud of your achievements.

Remember just because this relationship has ended does not categorically mean no one loves you.

Even if someone stated it in the break up.

It’s not me its you, I don’t love you.

That was one persons opinion and could have been said in the heat of the moment.

In reality may not even be their true feelings at all.

No reason to dwell on it or take it to heart, it is not fact.

 

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 2.

Be physically active as well as mentally.

Physical activity can strengthen your immune system, boost your energy levels.

This can improve your mood and has other benefits in self improvement areas.

In not only feeling better but looking better too.

Find a new passion and regain your own.

Instead of idling the day in your room punishing yourself (go to the gym do it there) with thoughts of what was and is no more.

The things that were said and done this is the past not the present.

Be brave enough to face each day.

Confident in the knowledge there is someone who will love you for who you are .

Do your best to live a full and functional life.

Despite the pain of what you are going through it will pass.

Devote your time to being productive. Whether at work school or elsewhere.

Especially for yourself in whatever way you can.

Try to accomplish as many tasks as possible, so that you’ll be distracted from your situation.

Eventually through force of habit you will change your mind set for the better.

You can also involve yourself in socio-civic activities.

Getting involved in issues and causes you feel strongly about, it can help you.

While at the same time, you help others, which can be very rewarding.

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 3.

Redirect your focus to other important areas in your life

Or rather perhaps you need just to focus on other areas of your life.

Maybe you let your club membership slide when you started the relationship.

Most people see their friends less often when they are a couple.

Perhaps during the relationship there were people your partner was uncomfortable you being around.  

This is an easy going distraction, catching up with old friends.

You could continue with your studies or take up new ones.

Challenge yourself 

For instance, learn a new language or learn to skydive.

Take an adventure holiday.

These are great ways to redirect your focus, improve self esteem and to develop as a person.

It is just a no brainer.

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 4.

Deactivate social media

You could deactivate your social media for the meantime or all time.

Find a body sized hole and crawl in.

Waiting for the earth to swallow you up.

That achieves nothing and gets you nowhere except into a hole.

Regardless of what you decide to do when you are still in love with your ex.

Giving up on life, is not going to get them to return to your loving arms.

Not even in your wildest dreams will this work.

But you should stop communicating with his/her family or friends and your ex at least for a while.

It doesn’t lead to any sort progression, if you are cyber stalking your ex on social media twenty four seven.

Almost everyone agrees on this point and suggests this course of action.

For a variety of reasons and to achieve different outcomes.

The time apart can make both parties see clearly what went wrong and consider the course of action they wish to take.

There are varying ideas on the length of time that should be taken this will depend on you.

Also the action or path you wish to pursue. Move on or get to the point where you can make a move on your ex again.

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 5

Talk it over

Find someone positive you can talk to about your feelings openly honestly and candidly.

It’s good to talk I’m sure you have heard it said and it’s true.

It is good therapy , it is the best part of therapy talking it over with someone.

Someone who knows you and cares for you and is not going to bill you like a therapist.

Avoid being alone all the time.

Sure some time alone is normal and beneficial in recharging the batteries.

But too much time alone is just not productive.

It allows the mind to wallow in self pity.

Thinking how much you miss that one single person.

And how it was with them insert biased happy memory here to compound your feelings of loss.

Focus on the other people important to you.

If you’re looking for someone to heal your wounds, finding new friends or connecting with old ones to surround yourself with is a huge help.

They don’t have to necessarily replace the love felt for that person.

Friends will provide a reciprocating relationship of mutual friendly affection, and help to wean you off of your ex.

Do not rush into moving on.

When I say don’t rush it’s really about taking your time.

Time to consider what has come to pass.

The possibilities it may still have or not .

Not about making rash and impulsive decisions that may complicate issues rather than helping them.

Some say jump back into the saddle ride on, that works for fallen jockeys and cyclists.

You may be neither and it may not help if you are still wondering What to do when you are still in love with your Ex .

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 6

Acceptance

If you think you are meant to be together, s/he will come back someday then.

It’s up to you to Do everything in your power to get to the point where you can reconcile with your love.

If you have done as much as you can to make this happen and it has not worked out.

You have to accept that.

Accept the fact that he or she is gone from your life and get on with the rest of your life.

No matter how hard it is for you to accept it, the reality of the situation won’t go away.

Accept it with an open mind and the understanding of the pain in your heart.

That is what makes you human you have feelings accept them.

Open up to the chances possibilities and options, available to you which believe me, are greater than one.

It is the first step in moving forward.

Letting go will be easier, because you won’t be clinging to unreasonable and false hopes.

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 7

Let go of memories and the things that remind you of them.

In the event of moving on it means returning the ex’s belongings to them.

Giving back their belongings whatever they may be CDs books clothes etc can be looked at as “the last rights” for a relationship.

It can be helpful in this stage of the  grieving process.

To get past the stage of denial for you and the ex.

As a means to realising and a step towards acceptance and the realisation that it is completely over you need to do this.

Or you can continue to martyr yourself with these painful mementos of better times at every turn.

Leaving you in a painful limbo state unable to move on and perhaps unable to go back.

I am not advocating memory obliteration here.

Though there are many who indulge in this behaviour to try .

Eventually you will find that really is not an option, that is going to work for you either way.

But the focus of your memories of the time should begin to be about the good times you had and a rather than what ifs ?

What to do when I am still in love with my Ex Step 8

Be happy

Be happy for your ex if they have truly moved on.

Consciously decide to be happy for yourself also in either case.

Try confront every situation with a positive attitude.  

That goes a long way in aiding recovery.

You have to believe that everything happens, happens for a reason.

This breakup could be for the best, who knows?

There could be someone better out there for you, you may not have noticed them yet.

If your love for each other is true and you’re meant to be together.

Time will help you both realise that.

You are going to get back to each other’s arms.

At a time that is right for both of you.

When you have better understanding of the reasons how and why it happened and are more  mature individuals.

Realising the mistakes made and how to avoid them in the future can go a long way towards forming a stronger bond and a more resilient relationship.

This works even after all the steps have been taken.

And you still don’t know What to do when I am still in love with my Ex ?

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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