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She left me for an ex : how to get her back ?


She left me for an ex : the girl you want to be with is with another guy

The woman who you feel is your soulmate.

She left me for an ex, it is just a fact, and though this is a bitter pill to swallow.

She chose another guy over you and you need to figure out why.

It is a toughie she left me for an ex and how to get her back ?  

 

Tough but not impossible to come back from.

Let’s say that you broke up and it’s been a few months.

Maybe even a year and you’ve heard through friends that she’s got a boyfriend.

Perhaps you even saw it on social media which would really bite.

 

Mistakes I made and why she left me for an ex

Texting or calling her all the time

Being a Doormat

Getting Angry and Calling Her Names

Begging And Pleading Her To Take You Back

 

And If you are comparing yourself with the other guy in your mind is a mistake.

Doing so with her is an even bigger mistake.

 

If you try to tell her how bad the new guy is for her.  

You are only going to push her further away and into the new guy’s arms.

She may be even sleeping with him.

Unfortunately as she is your ex.

 

There is no way you can stop her from sleeping with someone else.

The thought of your ex girlfriend in bed with someone else can be hard to take.

But if she decides to have sex with someone else.

She is not doing anything wrong though it might not seem that way to you.

You both have broken up and she is not cheating on you by sleeping with the other guy.

It is best if you don’t dwell on it.

It can unbalance your sense of calm and make you lose your cool.

Especially if you see her.

And if you freak out about it and try to control her actions.

You will only look needy, desperate controlling and manipulative.

 

Understand why She left me for an ex   

The first step is to understand why she left you in the first place.

Understanding what went wrong is essential if you are to correct it.

And you won’t get her back unless you do.

What was she saying to you before the breakup?

Were there any signs?

Did she say why she didn’t like or love you anymore?

Perhaps she felt like she wasn’t being appreciated enough.

Or perhaps she felt like she was getting too much attention from you.

 

Some people can feel suffocated and need a different balance in their relationships.

If she was feeling unappreciated by you,

It means that you may not have been expressing your affection for her as much as she would have liked.

 

She knows what it was like to be in a relationship with her ex.

And maybe she knew that he would be able to make her feel the way she wanted to feel.

In order to compete with his affections you have to meet and exceed her expectations in that respect.

And only you will know what was said and how to do that in the end.

 

She left me for an ex : have no contact

Don’t be acting needy or desperate, it’s not going to help you.

Play your cards close to your chest and don’t contact her for at least 4 weeks.

Delete her number if you need to, so you’re not tempted to try and contact her.

Or at least change her contact name to no contact remember as a reminder.

 

A lot of guys are resistant towards the idea of doing no contact.

Especially when their ex girlfriend starts dating someone else.

In some cases your ex may be so immature.

That she is dating other guy just to make you jealous.

Or else doing this out of desperation to change or make a clean break.

If that is the case or in any case really.

You still need to do no contact before making a move.

 

The best way to deal with immaturity is by being mature and calm.

You can take the power away from her by focusing on yourself and healing.

And you won’t be able to channel that type of person if you are hot and bothered.

Thinking about a breakup and the fact she left me for an ex.

Take time to get over the fact and regain some self esteem and self respect.

 

The first thing you should do is the last thing you would think of doing.

If you want her back don’t contact her.

For at least a month or more considering she left me for an ex.

 

Reasons for not doing no contact

Your mind is probably yelling no that can’t be right!

You can not be suggesting that, it makes no sense.

If I don’t stay in touch with her, she will keep getting closer to the other guy and will fall in love with him.

Then I will never get her back.

I need to stay on her radar and make sure she doesn’t forget about me.

I can’t let them get closer while I sit here and do nothing.

Doing no contact is important if your ex girlfriend is dating someone else.

Here’s why.

You need to get your mind to stop panicking number one.

Right now you are liable to make silly mistakes.

You don’t want to  make any obvious mistakes.

You need to figure out if getting your ex girlfriend back is the right decision for you.

You need to give her probable rebound relationship some time to end.

In most cases, she will realize that her new relationship is empty and she will dump the ex.

It usually takes a couple of day to realize why she broke up with the ex in the first place.

 

In some cases, she will get dumped by the new old guy.

This happens usually when the ex realizes he does not want a serious relationship and why they broke up in the first place.

So given enough time and two less than hopeful chances at a long lasting relationship you might not even need the month.

Better get started then.

By doing no contact even if she is dating the other guy.

You will be conveying to your ex that you are more confident and secure in yourself than ever before.

More confident than she thought you were.

(Yeah confident and secure in the knowledge it won’t last.)

This  will give you extra attraction points when you get back in touch with her later on.

 

She left me for an ex, was it a lack of Confidence ?

The most attractive trait a guy can have is confidence

Do you know that girls rate confidence as the most attractive trait in a guy?

And confidence is something that can be learned.

 

The easiest way is to start being honest with yourself and everyone else.

Stop trying to hide your feelings.

Because your subconscious mind thinks you don’t deserve anything nice.

Face your shame and anxiety head on.

Start believing in yourself and start being honest.

Honest about what you want and what you don’t want.

 

Guys who are honest, are always perceived as confident as opposed to guys who aren’t.

Another great way to portray more confidence.

Is by setting life goals about things that you are passionate about and working on them.

 

Physical Attractiveness

When I talk about becoming a better version of yourself.

I want you to try to work on every aspect of your life, mind, body and soul.

Working on your physical appearance is a great way to feel better about yourself.

It helps to heal from the breakup and become more confident.

Your ex was already attracted to you physically.

So, this is a plus, something you don’t need to worry about too much.

But you can add to your chances by going to the gym, bulking up or slimming down.

Getting a new haircut, getting your teeth cleaned and by getting new trendy clothes.

Generally looking better than the best she would have seen in you previously.

 

She left me for an ex : was it a lack of Emotional Intelligence ?

Being confident and looking good is something that attract girls to you in the first place.

But the thing that keeps them with you for a long time, is emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is something that girls find extremely attractive once they get close to you.

In fact, I would say most girls leave guys because of lack of emotional intelligence.

Or maybe just a lack of intelligence but seriously.

 

If a guy can’t understand her feelings and can’t solve relationship issues, it’s got no future.

She will over time lose the romantic connection with him.

If you can be empathic and understand her.

Understanding her fears, her desires, her strengths, her weaknesses and  her life goals.

You will be irresistible to her.

 

Girls don’t break up with boys who understand them.

It is misunderstanding that breaks up relationships.

 

Almost everyone has a deep desire to be understood.

And be accepted by someone they love and are attracted to.

By being confident and looking attractive.

You can attract her to you.

But you won’t get her to fall deeply in love with you.

Unless you work on your emotional intelligence

 

Pump up your favorite social media profile

Your social media page is a constant message that your closest friends and acquaintances are reading.

It’s crucial that they see the guy you want to be seen as.

Which is a confident, independent, happy, outgoing guy a social tycoon.

This means you need to upload pictures of you partying with other pretty girls, smiling and traveling.

Doing the new and exciting things that you never did whilst in the relationship with your ex.

You want to be showing so much heart and soul that she never saw before.

Making her think twice and take a second look at the bod.

 

She left me for an ex : time to get back in touch

In some cases, you might not be aware of her relationship status.

And you won’t even know if she has ended her new relationship.

It might not even be a rebound relationship like you thought.

It might be a serious relationship that she really wants to last.

This is why, I recommend that you contact her whenever you are ready.

After a few weeks, get in touch either with a text or a social media message.

Text messages have a unique advantage when your ex is dating someone else.

She can look at your text messages at her own time and reply to them if she feels like speaking to you.

 

Moreover, if her new boyfriend finds out that she is texting you.

There’s a good chance he will get jealous and it will lead to a fight.

And he will look insecure if he is snooping.

Into her text messages to find out what you texted.

 

Say something friendly, maybe even inject a little humor.

Something like “Hey, so I got the job… (yay for me) starting in a week” fancy a celebratory coffee?

No kisses desperation or relationship talk.

 

Keep it casual  

Always meet up with her in the day for lunch or coffee.

So it seems casual, like you’re meeting a platonic friend.

This will make her think that you’re not sexually interested in her and you are over her.

 

Meet up again

Keep meeting up with her casually for a few weeks to a few months.

Keep the conversations light, friendly and nothing to do with the relationship breaking up.

Make it look like you’re really happy and moving on with your life.

 

Go in for the kill

After several casual meetups,

Invite her along on a night out with your friends.

Or say to her that you’re going to be somewhere and she should come along.

Then when you see her, you’re both having a drink and you can be way more sexual.

 

Be persistent – Think alpha male who knows what he wants.

Not a pathetic needy loser who’s begging for attention.

 

Embrace change – Show her that you’re willing to be a better you by changing your ways.

 

Don’t sulk – The moment you accept your defeat, is the moment you will never get her back.

 

So stay positive even though she left me for an ex and  that you’re going to get her back in time.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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