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Overcome a broken heart : 10 steps to heal it


Overcome a broken heart is not an easy thing  to do.

It means healing the physical and mental aspects.

It means finding hope  to overcome a broken heart when you think all is lost.

It is about finding the will within yourself to heal yourself.

When you were so used to relying on someone else for support

 

  1. Go through it, not around it.

To overcome a broken heart the first step to recovery is about acceptance and facing the loss and the pain.

Going around it will only lead you back to encounter the feelings and emotions again when you think that you may have gotten over them.

Or when you least expect them to resurface this may make them seem more painful and powerful.

It is best to engage in that process now.

Recognize the feelings you have accept them as yours and it will be difficult to face that pain and suffering.

But once you do you lessen it it will hurt less.

You will become stronger because of it and as you continue to do this process you strength will increase and the suffering will decrease.

In avoiding facing the painful emotions you feel this strengthens their hold on you and over you.

You may grow unable to face the possibility of going through it, the more you ignore them.

In this instance ignorance is not bliss it is just delaying the inevitable.

It is more along the lines of knowledge is power in that the more you get to know you feelings on this matter.

The more powerful you will feel and become.

 

  1. Detach and revel in your independence again

A broken heart is usually the result of a broken relationship.

And in order to overcome a broken heart some might say you need to just jump right back in the saddle.

Well that can work for some and it might work for you in the short term as a distraction.

And that is fine in the short term.

Another way to approach it is to indulge in your independence now that you are not part of a couple.

You have the opportunity to take and make decisions for yourself at a moments notice.

Even less if you can.

You have no one else to consider in these decisions now so revel in that.

Make those spur of the moment travel arrangements.

Take that last minute deal.

Fly off to the place you always wanted to but never got to because of other commitments or considerations.

Take that class you may have thought about and even spoke about but never got around to doing.

It could be pottery classes with a Patrick Swayze look alike or it could be skydiving into a plunge hole.

You have the opportunity to do as you please without having to consider anyone else’s feelings or thoughts.

Indulge yourself a little or a whole lot who is to say it is not right or wrong.

And you don’t need anyone or anything to make you happy, just you so do it.

 

  1. List your strengths that will help to overcome a broken heart

To overcome a broken heart it is essential to stay positive.

Positive that there is love in your broken heart and there is love for you in the world.

And to help stay positive in times when you might succumb to feeling down.

And there will be moments when you will feel down.

Make a list of your strengths and keep it visible like stick it to the fridge or on a notice board.

It can start with turning something you may have thought was a weakness into a strength.

Like the fact there is still love in your heart and you still have the ability to love.

And this is a positive that people can overlook.

The fact you feel broken hearted is because you may feel love towards someone who you are not with.

It may feel like it is painful but remind yourself that it means you still have the ability to love.

Despite all the heart ache that comes with it.

It is a strength that it survives that you can still love that you have still more love to give.

So remind yourself of that fact take power from it.

Having supportive family and friends are another.

Other strengths you may have include humor, intellect, beauty, persistence, diligence, or compassion.

List them all and add to them as you find more.

Go over them if you feel low to bolster yourself in times of need.

 

  1. Allow some fantasizing

Grief wouldn’t be the natural process that it should be without some yearning for the person you just lost.

Dr. Christine Whelan, who writes the “Pure Sex, Pure Column” on BustedHalo.com, explains the logic of allowing a bit of fantasy. She writes:

If you are trying to banish a sexual fantasy from your head, telling yourself “I’m not going to fantasize about her” or “I won’t think about what it would be like to be intimate with him” might make it worse.

It is like trying to banish the feelings of a broken heart.

Facing them removes their hold over you and makes it easier to move on from them.

In a famous psychological study from the 1980s, a group of subjects were told to think about anything but whatever they did, they were not supposed to think about a white bear.

Guess what they all thought about? A white bear.

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

Giving in to temptation can be a way to get over it

I can resist everything but temptation. – Oscar Wilde

 

  1. To overcome a broken heart help someone else

There is always someone worse off than ourselves.

And this is so true in how to overcome a broken heart and something to always remember.

In finding someone else more in need than ourselves we focus on their need for help.

We can lose ourselves in that need and forget our own troubles.

Often our own troubles will pale in comparison.

And in helping alleviate their suffering we can help to relieve our own.

Or at least put them in perspective and forget them for a while.

Helping others and being compassionate to others is good for the soul.

 

 

  1. Laugh and cry to overcome a broken heart

Laughter is the best medicine.

And studies show it can help overcome a broken heart.

Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies.

Thus improving your resistance to disease.

Laughter also triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.

Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

What is not to like about laughing.

Watch your favorite movie comedy or television show and laugh out loud.

It also counts as exercise so what is wrong with that.

 

Crying can seem to be a negative thing to do but it releases toxins and relieves stress.

When people cry in response to stress, their tears contain a number of stress hormones and other chemicals.

Researchers believe that crying could reduce the levels of these chemicals in the body.

Which could, in turn, reduce stress.

It also has been shown to help deal with pain.

 

  1. Make a good and bad list of things you like to do

In how to overcome a broken heart there will be things you can do that you enjoy.

And help you to move on or at least forget for a little while.

Then again there may be things you used to like to do.

But may be tainted by their association with the person who broke your heart.

Like that restaurant you both liked and loved to eat at.

Places like that with negative associations can be hard to visit again.

Discover new places for yourself they may be good or bad have an adventure finding out.

So make a list of good and bad things to do.

Add to it as you find out new things you like and discover ones that you don’t like.

It could be you like to get spa treatments or a massage.

Perhaps there are things belonging to your ex that you would rather not see any more.

You could have fun auctioning them off on the internet seeing how little or much you can get for them.

Perhaps social media accounts are not quite as much of a joy as they used to be.

If you are spending some time looking at you ex’s feeds.

It wont be very helpful in how to overcome a broken heart.

So you could list it on the bad list.

And perhaps think about blocking or unfriending those offending feeds.

At least until you are ready to see them moving on which is a very real possibility.

Maybe it is never so be it.

New accounts and new outlooks.

 

  1. To overcome a broken heart work it out

Working out can be a great way to overcome a broken heart.

It has been shown to aid the recovery of patients suffering from depression.

So why wouldn’t it be good for you.

And that is another reason to do it.

That it is good for you.

 

  • It strengthens the heart. The heart is a muscle
  • It can make you feel happier.
  • It can help with weight loss if that is something you are dealing with.
  • It Is good for your muscles and bones.
  • It can increase your energy levels.
  • It can reduce your risk of chronic disease.
  • It can help skin health.
  • It can help your brain health and memory.
  • It can help with relaxation and sleep quality.
  • It will also help you look better and feel better about yourself

So there are the health benefits to be derived from it.

There are also the social aspects to it meeting new people.

And getting out and about can be helpful in your situation.

 

Perhaps you always wanted to try something a bit more energetic like boxing or martial arts.

Consider the motivation you might get from putting a face on the punch bag and utterly destroying it!

 

  1. Create a new world

There is nothing stopping you from creating a whole new world for yourself.

In fact when trying to overcome a broken heart is it recommended that you avoid the old haunts.

And places that you might accidentally run into the old flame.

At least for a time to get over them and recover your true nature and sense of well being.

So it can open up a world of possibilities.

For you to discover new places new friends and even new activities for yourself.

This is especially important when you have broken up with someone.

You don’t want to be reminded of painful memories at every turn.

Or worse still the sight of them while you are trying to enjoy yourself.

If you had mutual friends in common make new ones.

And limit meeting up with the ones in common.

 

  1. Find hope

And last but not least find hope.

Find hope that you can and will overcome a broken heart.

Find hope everywhere in everything you do.

Find a new hope in the DVD store in their recommended comedy films or the store clerk.

Find hope in that one day soon you will get through the whole day .

Without thinking once about them or the pain in your heart.

It will come you may be surprised at how quick it can arrive.

When you begin to move on with your own life and shift focus from another.

Find hope in the fact that you still have love in your heart and the ability to love.

Despite the pain and suffering that has been there too.

 

Find hope that there is someone out there you have not met yet that will want to make you their whole world.

Once you feel like you do want start dating.

You don’t have to get serious with someone else straight away.

Have some fun, that is what it is all about enjoy the attention.

Move at a comfortable pace for you and try to avoid rebound relationships.

If you’ve spent very little time in your past being single enjoy it while you can.

Or if you seem to have relationships one after the other without a break in between.

You may need to be careful of rebound relationships. They are not

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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