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My ex never loved me : Is it right ?


My ex never loved me : it can hit like a ton of bricks.

Just like the we need to talk and the aftermath of a breakup.

It can make all sorts of crazy thoughts and actions come out of the woodwork.

And crawl through your mind with explosive deconstruction on what you held true.

My ex never loved me then what else is a lie?

 

It is a hard thing to deal with and moving on from a breakup.

It is  more than just accepting that the person who used to be the center of your world.

Does not want to be part of your life anymore.

The more difficult part could be when you are left hanging.

Because you are not sure whether to wait or not.

This indecision gives you two conflicting options both of which are tough regardless.

One can mean an uncomfortable reunion fraught with the threat of another breakup.

The other is the sad and lonely decision to move on with your own life as a singleton.

To be honest there are pros and cons to both options.

 

However, knowing that your ex does not want you back anymore.

Can push you to move on no matter how hard it is.

And it can at least take the decision out of your hands leaving you with no other option.

If you do not do it.

You may end up feeling pathetic from wallowing with bitterness and maybe self pity.

While your ex is freely enjoying his or her new life.

 

When all is said and done.

I think knowing for sure is in one way is better, than not knowing which way to turn.

At least you can be sure of the option and though it will take time and effort.

You eventually can be sure of that decision and yourself.

 

Is it some form of denial ?

Sure it is a part of a breakup part of the stages of grief in death and the passing of a relationship.

So it only natural and normal to come up against this situation.

You may feel it is not true my ex never loved me is a lie.

There may be some other quite valid reason they thought in their mind for doing this.

What could it be ?

 

It could be a defense mechanism.

That they are really too scared of their true and deep feelings for you.

And that they tell a lie to you and themselves.

In order to protect themselves from the scary truth.

That they really truly and deeply are head over heels in love with you.

 

This is a tricky suggestion that still involves deceit and lies on their part.

And it can leave your head dizzy spinning around with what is the truth and what is not.

Which of their words are lies and which are not.

So do not go jumping to conclusions upon hearing my ex never loved me.

And then thinking they love you totally, it can be a great and obvious mistake.

 

What is the context ?

Before you get to that stage of second guessing what is truth and what is not.

You need to consider the context of how you found out my ex never loved me.

I mean was it a remark cast off with a smile.

Or spit out like a venomous viper in the midst of a fight.

It could have been read in a message or email.

Or worse yet in a diary where it was written as an admission no one else was meant to read.

Yeah reading it in a diary throws up many more problems.

 

How can you admit to having read something like that ?

How and why would they write such a thing.

How can you go on in such a relationship ?

How can they continue in a relationship where my ex never loved me ?

 

The discovery of this information in a diary is a very specific incidence.

But it brings up all the same kind of questions as other ways of finding out.

However other ways of finding out or being told will be more nuanced.

The motivations can be more varied.

Than someone taking literary licence to write it down essentially in a note to themselves.

Admittedly it could be done with the knowledge that it could be read.

If there was a previous incident or even history of reading someone else’s diary.

It could be an admission, a trap or even a way out.

Giving cause to initiate a break up that they may want to avoid having to do.

 

My ex never loved me, or so they said in a heated exchange

If the revelation was revealed in a heated exchange of words during a fight or argument.

It can be called into question more.

There have been times I am sure where everyone has said things in the heat of the moment.

Things that we know are not true or that are not going to happen.

I mean if thoughts or words were crimes nearly everyone would be convicted murderers.

How many times have you heard or said I’d kill you.

I ask you how many people would be left out of jail, saints and people who cant speak only ?

 

So the context of finding out my ex never loved me can make all the difference.

In the truth of the matter.

But that still might not make it a lie.

Just that it took a heated moment for it to come out and be said.

 

If your ex was on the other hand staring deeply into your eyes and coolly and calmly told you.

This has got to be taken a lot more seriously and has to be seen as a really callous act.

It would be hard to misinterpret that kind of statement and situation.

 

My ex never loved me, said as a reaction or distraction

If your ex was feeling particularly vulnerable or cornered.

Like in a discussion on issues to do with their behavior and problems they might be having.

Then it could possibly be a reaction to that and said as a distraction.

Taking the focus off them and bringing another issue into the conversation.

 

Using it as a means to change the subject and shift focus from the hard questions.

They may have to face on to anything else.

In that case it would be less likely to be the whole truth.

 

How you discovered My ex never loved me.

Will give you a background to what is being said.

That may question the veracity of what is being said.

The context and the tone will also inform the decision to believe it or not.

 

My ex never loved me, as a joke

I mean it could be just a really bad joke.

After a seriously great bout of orgasmic and exhausting love making and you are cuddling and chatting.

And you could be saying how much you enjoyed it and loved it or them.

They could ironically say No I never really loved you.

As a display of a contrary twisted sense of humor it could be said.

In jest at that point and it could be excused or could it?

 

Repeated mentions that My ex never loved me

This is the killer.

When it is repeated it harder to deny or consider it a lie.

Regardless of its context.

If it repeated throughout all of the examples given and more, then it is an issue.

 

It could be that the ex can not find the means or the guts to breakup.

So they begin a process of erosion dropping little hints or not so little as they may be.

Trying to find a way to end what has become to all intents and purposes the death of a relationship.

Being unable to bring themselves to have the serious talk where they have do the dirty deed.

 

They can resort to muttering it under their breath or dropping it into inappropriate moments.

When you hear it more than once you have to think they may be saying it for a definitive reason.

Perhaps to prompt an end or exit.

It may not be the whole and real reason they want to end it.

But the difficulties in broaching the subject of finishing a relationship.

Can make it seem like a means to an end.

 

I have known couples who have split up on the grounds of a thoroughly fictitious third person.

Brought in to prompt the end of that relationship.

This prompt could be closer to the truth than the fictitious third person.

But the reasoning or motivations could be the same.

 

It is hard to break up with someone who you have dated.

And sometimes it takes breaking utterly and absolutely.

The end of the love that brought you together is one way that is valid and proper.

 

My ex never loved me, as a means to cause extra distress in the end

The extra dimension of adding my ex never loved me.

It could be the result of some bitter pain that they perceived or felt during the relationship.

Something that changed their minds so utterly.

That they have only been left with the pain and suffering.

And they feel so bitter about it that in the end that they want to share that suffering.

Albeit in a nasty, vindictive and revenge motivated way.

 

If there behavior has been pointed nasty and vindictive in this way for some time.

And this is following such an incident like infidelity.

This could be that they have not gotten over some incident.

An incident that they may say they have forgiven but in reality they have not.

Cheating or infidelity can have this kind of lingering negative effect on a relationship.

 

The cheating partner could have made every effort to heal their mistake.

And what could have been a one off error in judgement in an otherwise solid relationship.

Has had lasting and serious effects that have been suppressed.

And the shocking and devastating  effects on the partner can simmer under the surface creating resentment.

 

This kind of resentment that one that can destroy any loving feelings.

Getting to the point where they can say they never loved you ever.

This can be the reaction to the betrayal of the cheating incident.

The ex might go through the motions of forgiveness and try to continue to be in a relationship.

But the reality of the constant doubt and the destruction of the foundations of trust.

Could have become too much to bare.

 

And result is the possibly untruthful admission that they never really loved you.

It is a reaction to the suffering caused and the distorted wish to share that betrayal distrust and pain.

The way it comes out is the apparent denial of what you were led to believe previously.

That you were in a loving couple working on forgiveness.

Saying I never loved you is the only and ultimate expression of that hurt.

That they may see as a weapon to use against you.

They try and destroy whatever illusions you may have had.

About their love loyalty and honesty within the relationship.

 

Whatever the situation that brought about the revelation that my ex never loved me.

You have to consider it real for the most part.

Because the other option is living another lie.

 

Being in a relationship where you may deeply love your partner.

But they do not feel the same or return that love is hopeless and beyond redeeming.

 

There is not really any chance for it to work in the long run for both of you.

One will be hurt and the other could be disinterested or indifferent to that pain.

It is not a situation that can be worked out to the satisfaction of both partners.

And to still have a stable loving relationship.

It is a death knell sounding, the end is nigh.

 

Do the best for yourself and bite the bullet move on find someone who will love you.

If you feel my ex never loved me find someone who will .

It wont be easy but it is the better  choice to make in the end of the day.

 

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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