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My ex is avoiding me : How to attract your ex ?


My ex is avoiding me : there is nothing worse than being ignored

They say the opposite of love is hate.

Well not in your case with « my ex is avoiding me ».

The opposite of love is indifference.

It is difficult to accept the fact that « my ex is avoiding me ».

But that is usually the best thing to do.

 

When a relationship ends there is usually an amount of bad feeling between you.

That’s the understatement of the century.

But it would go some way to explain why you say « My ex is avoiding me ».

It could be a defense mechanism in order to protect themselves from further pain.

These feelings can result in counter-intuitive actions on both sides.

So in reality the fact that you are saying »my ex is avoiding me » is a good thing for you.

It avoids any further escalation of the damage already done.

 

My ex is avoiding me : at least it avoids confusing the issues

You may want to get back with your partner.

Or you may want to get back at your partner.

Sometimes you will want to do both neither is a good idea.

The heated feelings and thoughts can be very confusing at this point.

And difficult to process in order to make sense.

After all you may just want them to realize that you care for them.

And get back together with your ex.

 

My ex is avoiding me : avoid rushing or pushing them

You may feel a sense of urgency and a need to act quickly.

You may feel if you do not act quickly you may lose this person and the love of your life.

This can prompt you to make decisions based on your emotional state.

Acting on a panic impulse is not the thing to do right now.

This would be a big mistake.

Rather be guided by my objective logical reasoning.

 

After a breakup you may feel lousy.

Your self esteem may feel low maybe you feel angry.

This will not help in your approach to get your ex back.

Right now you need to be confident, calm and considerate towards your ex.

Not something that will be easy given your state of mind.

And it means getting over the break up.

You may not be feeling the best after the end of a relationship not many people do.

You definitely could feel better and feeling better would be a good start for you.

 

My ex is avoiding me : face why that may be

You will need to find out why the relationship has ended.

You need to address and redress your part or role in that split.

When two people have split up they often need space and time away from each other.

Remaining in contact makes it difficult get that space and time.

It just keeps fueling the fire of the heated words, thoughts and feelings.

It does not allow time to get the perspective and distance to process these feelings.

 

A period with no contact will allow the hurt feelings and anger to dissipate.

It will also allow time to think and process the feelings of rejection and sadness.

And other emotions associated with the relationship the break up and the significant other .

This is essential if you are to make no further mistakes in getting your ex back.

If you’re in a highly emotional state you are very likely to make mistakes.

If your ex is avoiding you, they are likely trying to process similar negative emotions.

If you do not give them this time they will more likely push you away.

And it might end up being permanent avoidance.

 

My ex is avoiding me : give them what they want

In giving your ex what they want the space and time you are respecting their wishes.

It may not feel like the best thing to do but it is at the moment.

In respecting their wishes you show you are listening  them.

And giving them what they want it will be beneficial for both of you.

It may not seem like it right now but it is the best thing to do.

See, you’re thinking that you have to do something  to fix this right now.

This is called the illusion of action.

But in reality the correct action is no action at all.

It is to do nothing.

Unless they get in touch with you again.

But you have to wait for them to feel the need to contact you again.

You have to be respectful of their choice for space.

 

You may even think you would do anything to fix this.

That is motivated by fear and desperation.

The fear of permanently losing them or of them moving on.

And the desperation that fear causes in your mind.

 

My ex is avoiding me : have patience

Having patience is essential in order to get your ex back.

It shows a strength and a confidence.

Trying to rush things will only further complicate matters.

Making them feel harassed and even trapped.

The only thing they will want to do is run away or push you away.

 

In the plan for getting your ex back the first step is no contact.

In this case it is just what they want.

This means no emails no texts no phone calls and no social media contact.

This can be seen as a counter intuitive move to your over emotional mind at this point.

But it is what your ex wants if they are avoiding you.

So give them what they want.

 

It will allow time for the heated words of the breakup to cool.

It also allows time for reflection and consideration on the relationship.

Both of you need this.

 

 

My ex is avoiding me : give them and the breakup due consideration

You need to consider if what you both are doing is right for each of you.

And if you truly want to get them back and give the relationship another chance.

In this reflection and consideration you must carefully consider your part in the break up.

You could list all of your ex partners complaints.

It will help you find solutions to the reasons for the breakup.

And any thing you may have contributed to the cause that break up.

 

If there have been repeated are arguments consider their causes and look for possible solutions.

These will have to be tackled prior to resuming in any sort of relationship.

They would have to be shown not to be an issue if the relationship was to continue.

Communication issues is one of the biggest factors in relationship breakups.

If there are other issues or factors causing arguments they should be considered and tackled also.

 

In thinking about and tackling these factors.

You are laying the groundwork for a better future relationship.

One that has developed beyond the old bad habits and the reasons for the split.

The old bad habits should be brushed aside in order for a new relationship to blossom.

The reason for the break up should be no longer be an issue.

It may be something specific like infidelity on your part.

That is difficult but not impossible to come back from.

Perhaps it was something simple like a difference of opinions.

Or a misunderstanding that got out of hand.

Whatever it was root it out and lay it to rest for good.

 

My ex is avoiding me : use that time for personal growth

You should make the most of this time  and take this opportunity to develop personally.

Focus on yourself and being the best you can be.

Be the partner your ex saw when you first met.

Only better from what you have learned from the relationship.

 

You should continue to live life normally this includes a social life among other things.

Hang out with your friends, throw yourself into work and other extracurricular activities.

That can mean working out at the gym work on your appearance.

Indulging in some new and exciting activities.

Anything to force the thoughts of the break up from your mind.

You need to be strong willed in this.

Your mind may be panicking thinking my ex is avoiding me.

Maybe they are totally moving on.  

 

You should not allow the Break-Up of the relationship to get you down.

Even though it is very tempting to do so.

 

Keeping up appearances is essential to attract your ex back.

They need to see you are not a broken mess after the break up

After period of time your ex may start to wonder why you have not been in contact.

They may start to miss you.

This is what you want.

 

The negative emotions associated with the break up should give way to nostalgia for the relationship.

It is important for you to maintain the appearance of a confident happy and outgoing person.

This is what your social media accounts should portray.

Even though you may not be feeling this way.

It should seem that you are this way.

 

This display of confidence should be consistent in real life as on the internet.

Confidence is a very attractive characteristic to both sexes.

You may even want to consider moving on and dating someone else.

If you have managed 30 days without contact.

You could consider sending your ex a text or an email, if they are still avoiding you.

This can be a way of testing the water so to speak.

They can read and reply at their leisure without the pressure of facing a tricky conversation.

The awkwardness of a person to person meeting is avoided.

 

Be sure that there is no neediness desperation or controlling aspects to the text.

Try to inject a little humor to ease the tension.

This will show there is no hard feelings.

And no reason for « my ex is avoiding me » in future.

Making them laugh is a great way to get them to drop their guard and will put them at ease.

 

It will make the thought of having a conversation not so daunting.

Perhaps peak their interests be it a sports event you saw where his team won.

Or a TV show she watches that had a shocking plot twist.

Keep it light and brief.

 

Avoid asking too many questions at this point you do not want to bombard them.

At this stage you will be gauging their response.

For signs that they would be receptive to further communication.

Or that they might still need more time and space.

You need to approach the situation from a position of power.

Rather than displaying the hallmarks of a doormat.

 

The last thing you want to display at this point is a sense of being insecure, clingy and needy.

You need to have the appearance of being emotionally stronger and self assured in your approach.

You also need to have the determination to succeed.

You need to be ready for the worst case scenario be prepared for the worst.

If they tell you they are dating and their partner doesn’t want you contacting them.

You have to be calm and polite in your response.

 

Don’t let your emotions ruin all chances.

Wish them all the best and back off.

It could put a hold on your plans as it could just be a rebound relationship.

It could even just be a red herring to catch you out.

Don’t fall for a trap like that by showing your disappointment by getting angry or lashing out.

This would show you still have strong feelings for them.

Either way do not say something you will later regret.

 

If the worst case scenario does not materialize.

Then progress to phone calls and then to meeting in person.

Perhaps do non committal like something friends or first dates could do.

Don’t jump straight to the serious relationship conversation.

Look to spend some time as friends first enjoying each others company.

Show them you have processed the breakup and are over it.

 

Avoid bringing up the tension of the break up.

Or discussing relationships in the first meeting.

Create a relaxed atmosphere that both of you can simply enjoy each others company.

In time you can suggest a meeting to talk about your feelings.

Remember be calm respectful and patient with your ex.

 

Be open and honest with them.

If appropriate make a genuine apology for your mistakes.

Show them how you have changed and improved.

Get them to forgive you.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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