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My ex has a new girlfriend : 5 tips to handle this situation the right way!


My ex has a new girlfriend.

It is over, so it is time to get on with your own life.

He got on with his and found someone else.

The reasons of who did what and why, really don’t matter now.

And it really won’t be of any benefit for you to read between the lines.  

Even if it was quick enough for you to consider the possibility.

Did they get together before you broke up?

It is a mute point at this stage.

 

The fact is you broke up and it wasn’t a failure on your part.

Just that things didn’t work out.

They might not work out with this new girlfriend either.

It is not a testament to your inadequacy.

It is just that he has moved on and now my ex has a new girlfriend.

Do you think you want to try and win him back ?

 

That is not really a good idea at this moment in time.

Or you are prepared to try be the other woman in his life.

Yeah that is an even worse idea than the first one.

You need to be the focus of your life  that he is not the focus of yours anymore.

Perhaps you need some help in redirecting your energy in a more constructive fashion.

Because if you are focused on what once was and is no more you are wasting your time and energy in trying to change the past.

Lord knows many have tried and failed.

So you must realise it is fruitless and never going to work.

So you have to do something else with yourself and above for yourself.

Here are five tips  to handle this situation the right way.

 

1 Time to believe in yourself

 

Breaking up is hard to do.

And putting the effort into getting the relationship back together and coming out the other end with an ideal loving bond.

Can be draining to say the least and a gamble at best.

And I’ll bet it will be more painful than letting go and moving on.

Especially as my ex has a new girlfriend to boot.

In reality it is hardly likely unless you are prepared to fend off an angry disgruntled girlfriend in the process.

 

Resisting the loss of your relationship your ex boyfriend, is more painful than simply accepting it.

 

Your time would be better spent on yourself, it is time to put yourself first.

Breaking up can destroy your self esteem your sense of self worth.

It can destroy so much you may feel like you are left with nothing.

Nothing that is of value or so it can seem.

This is not the truth not at all.

And these kind of thoughts should be banished from your mind for good and the good of your health.

Have you completely forgotten about yourself?

Are you only a person when you are part of a couple?

 

Though it is normal to feel down, feel loss and lonely.

After the end of a relationship.

And in order to process and progress after it.

 

You can not deny these feelings.

 

You can not deny the fact that the relationship is over possibly forever.

Thinking any other way is a road to disappointment and further down the line is only going to cause you even more pain and suffering.

Admit the feelings, cry them out. Scream in anger. Punch a pillow.

Do whatever it takes to for you to get over it.  

Then when you have fully acknowledged and exhausted those feelings and yourself in the process.

(Working out can be a great help in the process of dealing with these feelings for the mind and the body )

Let them go, move on.

Get to the point where they no longer have that same hold over you.

Realize them for what they are, past history not your present.

Get over those feelings. Consign them to that part of past history and file them away.

Gone but not forgotten.

 

Now it is time for you to focus on you.

Rebuilding a strong independent woman who is well aware of her beauty and value.

And is not beating herself up over the past or the fact My ex has a new girlfriend.

I mean you wouldn’t continually punish yourself if you got lost on the road somewhere do you?

And in reality that is all that happened.

You took a wrong turn got lost .

Now you have to find your way back to yourself by yourself.

It is not big deal, it is an inconvenience nothing more than that.

An error in judgement.

So be generous and patient with yourself in this respect.

 

2 Focus on the positive about yourself

 

The fact that my ex has a new girlfriend can make you think about yourself as a second class citizen.

Not their first choice but that is wrong.

That is not the truth of the matter and is putting a negative slant on the situation.

This will have a negative effect on your mind leading you to think that you are not good enough.

Or that your worth is less than someone else is.  

You have to see that this line of thinking will lead you into a negative place and into a downward spiral that won’t take you up where you belong.

And it is not a point of fact.

So banish it any time it appears and every time it appears, ruthlessly.

Focus on the positives in your life good friends and close family.

Both of which will support you in this time of need.

And you should access that support network.

To help you change the negative thoughts you may be thinking into positives.

They can highlight the good things about you.

And help to change your mood by taking your mind off thinking  “my ex has a new girlfriend”.

They can help you to laugh and show you that you are loved by more than one person.

You can’t let that one person make you feel like you are unwanted .

Consign those negative thoughts to the trash where it belongs.

That maybe one person’s opinion not the worlds.

Remember that all those negatives racing around your head and taking over your mind.

Are merely the opinion of someone, who you don’t really have a high opinion of.

So check your thoughts for negativity.

Especially ones about yourself and banish them to the rubbish bin.

You don’t need that and they are of no constructive benefit for you whatsoever.

 

3 Don’t forget the reasons you and your ex broke up.

When relationships end we have a tendency to idealize them to the point of near fairy tale status.

This tendency will be detrimental.

As it can make it seem that it was all a bed of roses, without any apparent thorns at all.

Surely that is not the case.

If you are still feeling like you are obsessing about the break up and the fact my ex has a new girlfriend.

Remember the reasons you broke up

Think about the things that you did not like about your ex.

And the fact that My ex has a new girlfriend doesn’t count.

You should be positive about yourself.

But I didn’t say you have to be positive about your ex.

I’m sure he was not perfect.

I’m sure he had his own negative aspects.

It is just that in retrospect things look better.

And in hindsight you might tend to think that his sh*t don’t stink butt it wasn’t all roses.

 

Write a list of reasons why you broke up and all the things you did not like about your ex.

And when you find yourself being nostalgic about the good times.

The good times you two had together, take out the list and read it again.

Add in new things as you remember them, to the end.

When you do this you will start to see a more balanced view of the relationship.

Rather than the idealized rose tinted view.

It may even get to the stage the negative list get longer than the good things you remember.

 

4 My ex has a new girlfriend and I am Cyber stalking them  

 

If you have not already done so, it is time to block, unfriend and unfollow the ex.

It is not going to do you any favors watching following or even just looking at the ex’s feed on social media.

 

And as for liking ? Do you really think it is likely that you would ?

 

And you do not want be that person who gives the thumbs down to everything that he posts.

It is not a good look for you.

Watching their social media posts is something you really should not spend time doing.

 

You should have better things to do with yourself.

 

If you don’t you need to find other better things to occupy yourself.

After a breakup anything that is a distraction is a benefit pretty much.

It is a great way to redirect the mind away from the past into the present and thinking about the future.

New studies for self development.

Old friends to reconnect with.

Judo or karate classes to deal with any leftover pent up feelings.

Or meditation to gain perspective and some attempt at peace and tranquility.

You should be filling your time with lots of activities that can keep you from thinking about the fact “My ex has a new girlfriend”.

You could be loading your own social media feeds with posts about the new and exciting lease of life you are having.

Not that you should have much time to do so.

 

And if you are doing the same with the ex’s girlfriend well stop right there.

You have gone past the dangerous liaisons into fatal attraction territory psychoville don’t go there.

As for meeting in person don’t ever get in contact the ex’s new girlfriend.

You should never contact the new girlfriend there can be no good reason for you to.

It will never go as well as you imagine and will make you look crazy and desperate.  

 

And as for comparing yourself to this new girl.

It  will do nothing to make you feel better.

You can sit there and stare at her pictures.

It will only make you feel bad regardless how much of a craggy faced cow you think she might be.

And she did not win or beat you at anything so that kind of thoughts or comparison does not make any sense.

If you’re having trouble coming to terms with the fact that your ex has a new girlfriend to call his own.

Don’t deal with it in public on front of them should you happen to meet.   

Deal with it behind closed doors on you own.

Don’t give him the satisfaction of showing you still have feelings for him.

Some guys might actually enjoy knowing that you aren’t over them.

Be the bigger person and remain civil, level-headed, and mature.

Just don’t linger in their presence leave ASAP.

Without looking too bothered.

A fake phone call and “be right with you, gotta go things to do bye” will get you out of there

 

5 Embrace the single life

 

This can be as simple as just doing all the things you didn’t have the opportunity to do while you were in a relationship.

Perhaps see the guys that your ex was uncomfortable with you seeing when you were together.

Or it could be seeing the movies you want to see without having to ask would he like to.

There is so much to embrace out there that perhaps you would not have the time to post it all on social media.

But really you should be making the most of your time as a single lady.

 

Cause before long chances are you might not have that time to yourself.

There is nothing more alluring and attractive to a man.

Than a woman who knows how to have fun and enjoy life

This is how it should be.

You do not need a man to have fun.

When you get to this stage that you can enjoy yourself by yourself.

You may find that it won’t last too long.

Guys will start to approach you and that could mean the end of the single life.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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