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My ex doesn’t love me anymore : why and what should I do?


It is a tough situation to be in .

When “My ex doesn’t love me anymore”.

Someone who has been part of your life for a period of time.

Suddenly drops a bombshell on you.

You world has just been turned inside out.

My ex doesn’t love me anymore what am I going to do ?

 

Even though things seemed to be going fine in the first weeks, months, or maybe even years.

Despite a few fights that are common and happen in all relationships.

The person that is now your ex has announced that their feelings for you have disappeared.

My ex doesn’t love me anymore how can that be.

 

 

How can you just stop being in love with someone?

How can you go from love to indifference or even a platonic relationship?

Did they ever truly love you?

You start to question your entire past together.

And you don’t know how to act or what to say to them.

 

Maybe they don’t give you a chance to talk to them.

Perhaps they are doing everything they can to get you to move on with your life without them.

However, knowing that « my ex doesn’t love me anymore » should tell you something.

And should push you to move on no matter how hard it is, regardless.

If you do not do it.

You will end up feeling hopeless from wallowing in bitterness.

While your ex maybe freely enjoying his or her new life.

 

It is so easy to get consumed by the need to know where they stand.

And how they came to feel this way about you.

And from that place, it’s difficult to move on powerfully.

It is just difficult to move on full stop.

Fear and uncertainty about the future can keep you stuck.

It can prevent you from being truly committed to your quest to find lasting love.

Or even to move on from your last love.

And that is probably the best thing you can do at this point.

Move on and don’t contact them.

 

In this way you will give them what they want and you will get what you need.

You need to take the focus off your ex significant other.

And focus on yourself.

For others to love and respect you, you have to love and respect yourself .

It is a good place to start.

How do you love and respect yourself?

You need to make practical, tangible changes in your life.

Maybe this could mean getting a better job committing to work is a  good distraction.

It could also mean developing your hobbies and interests to help fill the void in your life.

It definitely means exercising more.

As this is a great way to shift focus feel and look better about yourself.

Working on your self-esteem is another exercise that is in need after a breakup.

And by spending more time with people you respect and love you like family and friends.

 

Look at your relationship objectively

When you say, “My doesn’t love me anymore”.

Are you letting your feelings dictate your future.

Dictate your thoughts and your life?

 

It is understandable you have been invested in this relationship for some time perhaps for years.

You need to look at it objectively, with your rational mind and gut instinct.

Not your heart because it may not give you the best advice at this moment in time.

 

Is this the relationship you wanted for yourself, before you met them ?

Does your partner willingly meet your needs and respect your wishes?

Do you do the same for them?

If you had to do it all over again, ask yourself if you’d choose them again as your partner.

That may help you look at your relationship and decide if you want to leave or stay.

 

Other thing to consider are signs that the relationship has run its course

And that it is despite all of your best efforts over.

Sometimes there is nothing left to do but move on.

And get over them in whatever way you can.

 

Signs that it is over and that my ex doesn’t love me anymore

Your ex does not pick up or respond to your calls or messages.

This one is normal for most people in the immediate aftermath of a breakup.

If they do not answer your calls and messages for days after your breakup.

Maybe, they just need time and space to think and process their thoughts and feelings.

However, if after weeks and months your ex does not bother to answer your messages.

And continues to avoid you and never picks up even if you call every day.

Then it is clear the person does not want to communicate with you anymore.

 

When you get blocked or unfriended on social media.

Or perhaps they change their phone number, then take it as a sign.

That it means your ex does not want you reaching out to them anymore.

They may even have taken such measures as to change contact details.

In order to make sure you cannot contact them.

When this occurs, just respect the person’s privacy.

And stop looking for ways to communicate or get in contact.

 

My ex doesn’t love me anymore when your stuff is returned.

And if they want all their stuff back it is a clear signal.

Usually, it is hard to return the things belonging to your ex after breakup.

Especially if you still love the person, or still hold on to the idea that you may reunite.

Because doing so is like letting the person go for good.

It is like burning bridges between you so there is no way or reason to go back.

If your ex gives you the stuff you gave them.

It could be a clear sign that they are already letting you go.

 

Your ex does not make any effort to reconcile.

If over the weeks and months apart your ex does not make any effort to win you back.

Or at least express how they miss you, then it is a clear sign.

The person does not want to take any step that can spark your affection for each other again.

Because they wants complete freedom from you and an end to the relationship.

If it’s been a long time since your break up and you are still pining for their love.

It is time to move on.

 

Maybe they will come back, maybe they won’t.

But the simple truth is, it is a waste of your time and energy to persist in thinking on it.

In expending all that energy, hoping and wishing to get back what you had.

Would be more productively used spent finding new love.

Living in the past only causes you pain.

And to miss out on all the opportunities life has for you today.

 

If it has only been a few weeks since you broke up there are still chances admittedly.

 

However, it is perhaps more important that you focus on healing yourself.

Regardless of these chances.

And improving your mental and emotional state will benefit you either way in the long run.

 

But if it’s been a good while since you broke up.

And they are not showing any interest in getting back together.

Or even that they could be actively avoiding you.

It might be time that you come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over for good.

 

My ex doesn’t love me anymore because they have a new date.

Sometimes dating someone new and having fun is just what it takes to shake things up.

For one or other of you to realize what you have lost.

And to come back to your senses and try to reconcile.

Even if you have already broke up, if your ex still loves you.

They probably would not want you to be hurt.

The ex would not do anything that would push you away completely.

Because they might still have hopes for a reconciliation for you both.

 

However, if they are already dating someone else then move on.

And they are being open about it, then that means you are clearly out of the picture.

It is like saying they are free, single and available to like, see and date whomever they wish.

 

In the same way that they do not seem to care if you date someone new it means the same thing.

If seeing you with a new partner doesn’t make your ex jealous or at least uneasy.

Chances are it is because they no longer have feelings for you and they don’t want you back.

If your ex does not seem to care if you find someone new already.

Then it means they are already over you and have moved on.

If they still cared, they would normally directly or indirectly express anger jealousy or bitterness.

They would confront you about it, and it may even cause them to realize their mistake.

And perhaps even admit that they are afraid to lose you to someone else.

 

Now if they see you out and about with a new partner.

They come up to you both and says hello even offering to buy you two a drink.

They are making it known that there are no hard feelings and that they have moved on.

 

When some people are finished with a relationship.

They may see no need to be on their best behavior.

Or hide the fact that they are no longer interested in you.

They could act out in words and or actions.

This could take many forms such as dating other people and in your face shows of affection.

Or plain speaking terms that are done without malice of feeling one way or another.

If your ex tells you flat out or shows you through their actions that they are done .

The best thing you can do is believe them and move on with your own life.

 

 

My ex doesn’t love me anymore and it shows in their words

They could be saying things like « it is not you it is me ».

Or things like « you deserve better than what I can give you ».

They might think telling you should be enough.

Hearing my ex doesn’t love me anymore is not the same as thing as knowing and accepting.

 

This can just be them trying to communicate the end of the relationship to you.

In a way that is trying to be kind.

Though there never really is a kind way to breakup.

If they think that you are just not getting the message or not taking the hint.

Then they may take the cruel to be kind ways like saying I don’t love you anymore.

They could be saying things like “I am tired of this”.

Or “I just cant do this anymore”.

 

There is never a real easy way to say these types of things or to get the point across.

If you wanted your ex back, I do understand how painful reading these points can be.

Especially if more than one of  them resonated with you.

But it’s better to have all the facts you need to get closure.

Pining for someone who clearly doesn’t want you will not get you the love life you desire.

And there is no way to make someone love you.

 

Taking responsibility for your love life and actively working on yourself.

Is the best gift you can give yourself right now.

And, when the right partner comes along and they will.

You both will be prepared to take on that path together.

In the end it is time to be truthful as much as possible without being just cruel.

For both of you.

 

Very few people will resort to being hurtful for the sake of it.

Most try to be as tactful as possible.

Getting the message that my ex doesn’t love me anymore is about as obvious as it gets.

However if someone ignores all the signals being sent.

They may have to resort to less kind way to get their message across.

Most hope it never comes to this.

Most hope the message will be received painful as it is.

It is time to move on.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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