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My ex comes back after 2 years : What to think about


My ex comes back after 2 years and I am just getting back to myself or have moved on.

An ex just seems to pop back into your life at the most inopportune time?

Is it like a radar thing.

Is there an app that tells them “your ex has reached the point of moving on contact them now”?

My ex comes back after 2 years it’s an experience had only by women or so you might think.

But after some research and multiple conversations, it actually holds true to both women and men.

Whether it is by text or an email it can seem like a psychic ability to manage to catch you off guard.

It can be as dumb as “hey, what’s up?”.

It has the ability to send you back in time to reset you to a previous state.

The progress of however long it has been, is in the recycle bin, trashed.

Why is it that this is such a common occurrence ?

 

The prime motivator and the most obvious reason is as I am sure you have probably guessed is SEX!  

Yes, indeed surprise surprise no prizes for guessing that one.

Was there any real doubt that it would be ?  

We try and deny it, that the reach out could be innocent enough or deeper than that.

However generally base it may seem that is usually it.  

 

It might not start out like that or sound exactly like that I mean come on.

Perhaps there was a suggestion that you go to for a drink or something to eat.

The suggestion to get together starts a predictable series of questions in the brain.

Does he or she want me back ?

Do I want them back ?

Oh but the good times were so good.

It is the same old story that plays out in everyone’s mind on those occasions.  

Unfortunately, it very rarely works out.

 

And that can be due to the fact that someone is going through a dry patch in their sex life

It is a lot easier to cold call some hot ex out there.

To see and gauge how they react than trying to find someone new.

It is a cold and brutal truth of the matter.

If you are into it all well and good.

Just don’t go expecting anything other than a climax or you could be in for an anticlimax.

 

My ex comes back after 2 years : some would say Do Not Engage

And I would tend to agree on this one.

It isn’t worth it, really it isn’t.

A 2010 study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology found that when participants saw pictures of their exes, it signaled activity in the same part of the brain that was closely related to experiencing physical pain.

This can give you an idea about what you are getting yourself into.

 

If they have just decided to pop back into your life after a long absence.

Most likely their motivations aren’t going to be great or for the greater good.

And let’s not forget about the pain did I mention that already ?

You shouldn’t have to deal with that and in reality you might not want to.

Especially if talking to them is going to bring up the stress levels and the therapy bills.

Along with any residual resentment, anger or negative feelings associated with the relationship .

If you are to do anything about it and this is generally advised.

Simply delete whatever they have sent you and think no more about it..

It is called moving on for a reason.

 

“One of my exes reached out to me on my birthday,” said one girl at University.

“Even though it was kind hearted, I wish he knew that it sort of broke my heart all over again after not speaking for months and also sort of killed my birthday.

My tip would be to hold your ground and remember why it didn’t work out in the first place.”

Which is good advice.

 

In the long run, you will be happier.

Happier that you didn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they still had a grip on you.

Not everybody deserves to hear or know how you’re doing, and not everybody is deserving of your time.

It is okay and good advice to take a step back and realize that you don’t owe them anything.

The first thing you have to learn immediately after a breakup is to put yourself first.

Are you now going to second guess that lesson.

Reset self esteem to zero and ex to number one ?

Think about yourself first before you think about welcoming anyone else, romantic or otherwise into your life. And it goes double for old trouble and ex’s alike.

 

Don’t stalk their social media

It can be hard not to do it.  

Who am I kidding it is damn near impossible in this day and age.

Don’t give in to the temptation to check in on a former romantic interest.

Especially when my ex comes back after 2 years, let alone if they want to start talking again.

Stalking your ex on social media only serves to hurt you and it is over, isn’t it ?

I know the thought that is cycling through your mind is saying, is it though? Is it really over ?

They’ll constantly be on your mind and you’ll get no distance from what happened.

You will have no peace.

 

If you have to, block them or delete their number. Do it.

Their feelings aren’t your concern at this point in time.

If you even consider that a real reason to justify not wanting to.

Wake up, you need to put your feelings first and foremost..

It will be better for your mental health and general well being to have them gone completely.

Out of sight and out of mind rather than going out of your mind.

 

You can stop the thoughts cropping up in your brain every other opportunity.

Wear a rubber band around your wrist.

Every time you find yourself thinking of them stretch the elastic band away from your wrist and let it go.

Remind yourself of the pain they caused.

It will help you to move on, stop thinking of them and to deal the unhappy thoughts and memories.

 

Removing your ex from your social media is a good step in the process of getting over them.

If you want to justify blocking them in another way.

Consider how you will make them think, what’s going on ?

If they can’t get in contact with you.

There is nothing wrong with blocking someone you don’t want to deal with.

Or it is just a little payback if that is how you want to think about it.

 

My ex comes back after 2 years : take stock of your progress and why it ended

Since they left your life, things have no doubt changed, hopefully for the better.

The relationship was probably fine at the beginning and they usually are better at that point, than at the end.

There is usually a reason maybe more than one reason they are not in your life now.

What will be, will be and it wasn’t meant to be.

Think of all the time after it ended you spent in turmoil with grief and anger getting over the break up.

Think of your family and friends and the suffering you put them through obsessing over the end.

They should not have to go through that again and neither do you.

 

Consider what it took to get over them and the relationship so much time and effort.

You may very well say things could be different now you have both matured.

Really try to think objectively even though it can be difficult to do in this situation.

The end may have been really bad and the ex probably didn’t treat you too well.

Remember that and the fact that you weren’t good for each other.

I mean it did end and you can not ignore that fact.

If they are really being genuine.

They are going to have to work very hard to prove themselves.

And I would suggest if you are thinking about giving them  a second chance.

Set the bar high, very high in fact.

Show them that you know you are worth working hard for.

My ex comes back after 2 years don’t let them off easy.

Remember it is a slippery slope down to low self worth and self esteem issues.

 

My ex comes back after 2 years and all they are trying to do is just get under my skin.

Try playing it cool and let their lame moves roll off your back.

Just don’t roll your eyes it might be a dead giveaway.

In continuing to be nice to them and see it as one big joke.

It can feel good to be the bigger person and see the tired moves for what they are.

I mean really what do you owe them ?

To listen to them, possibly. To believe their spiel, maybe not. Another opportunity to hurt you?

Do not give them a snowball’s chance in hell.

 

My ex comes back after 2 : sure, let’s have a frank little chat

If you think you can do so and that it will be productive.

As long as you can and it will not degenerate into a mud slinging fight or worse.

Then maybe you could have a serious talk about what happened.

And tell them why trying to get in touch again is just not a good idea.

 

There could be potential for personal growth in learning something and closure possibly.

If you wondered about what it was exactly that went wrong.

Or what you could have done to change the way things ended.

Or perhaps it is just an opportunity to open old wounds.

Which I honestly think it would end up being.

No matter how strong or over it you feel you are.

 

My ex comes back after 2 years into your life my advice would usually be do not entertain them.

But if they are still being genuine give them your ear.

If you both understand what went wrong.

And mutually want to work on making things right, then go for it

 

My ex comes back after 2 years : are you both on the same page ?

If you are considering giving them the second chance.

My ex comes back after 2 years there are things you need to be sure of.

You need to be sure you are doing it for all the right reasons.

You need to be sure about the ex’s motivations.

While you may be totally committed  to rebuilding your relationship.

You may even believe you can make it work out this time.

If your ex-partner is not as fully committed to repairing your relationship, chances are it is unlikely to succeed.

Before you jump in with both feet or into bed.

An open, honest and frank discussion needs to happen with your ex-partner.

Discuss both of your thoughts, feelings, desires, and on the willingness to rebuild the relationship together.

And what revisiting it means for you both.

Admit your reservations and have them do the same if they have any.

 

Serious issues from the breakup

If there was serious issues at the break up they will have to be covered and cleared up in a way.

Breaking up on the grounds of distance where you or your partner needed to relocate for a new job.

Or a huge misunderstanding where outside forces like in-laws meddle in an otherwise healthy relationship.

Are very different reasons for terminating a relationship than more serious issues.

If you broke up because of infidelity, abuse, toxic behaviors, or incompatibility, then getting back together is not in your best interest.

 

Reuniting with an ex should only be an option if you genuinely feel love for him or her.

That you both believe you will be able to provide each other with the mutual, positive support.

The support needed to build a satisfying, respectful, and lasting relationship together.

And not because you are dependent on them.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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