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My ex called me : what does it mean ?


My ex called me.

You break up. you go your separate ways, you living your own separate lives.

And then your phone rings.

You recognise the number that appears it is your ex. Did he call me ?

Your heart may skip a beat or maybe your blood boils.  

What does it mean? You have got to be asking yourself why has he called ?

 

The reasons for a phone call from anyone can be numerous and varied.

The reasons “why did my ex call” can be just as varied just more pointed.

It will be pointed by who is on the line, its your ex who is calling you.

“I just called to say…”  maybe it is no wonder Stevie.

 

Considerations

 

This situation can present you with a large number of considerations.

First of all you have to remember it is your ex.

And the relationship is over and really how long has it been ?

Have they forgotten that little nugget of turd ?

 

What time of day is it, that they are calling at.

I mean if you receive a call in the dead of night click straight to voicemail.

What are they thinking ?

Most likely they are not thinking but drinking and drunk dialing you.

Do they think you are at their beck and call at all hours of the day.

This call or calls as the case maybe can raise a large number of questions.

When my ex called me, what does it mean ?

 

My ex called me. What does it mean to you?

How do you feel about answering the call

And more importantly how do you feel about your Ex in particular ?

I mean if you have been sticking pins in their voodoo doll image for weeks or months.

You might not want to pick up and talk.

Unless it is to hear them groan in agony.

 

If there are extenuating circumstances like there are children to consider

You will probably need to answer regardless.

If you have got children with your ex, remember that they have a right to have two parents as much as is humanly possible.

I mean if they live on another continent that’s a 21 hour flight away.

It’s not really feasible to have weekend visits.

But you can at least accept calls if they are considerately timed.

 

If you have children with your ex then definitely you should answer the calls.

My ex called here and the call could relate to some kind of major accident, medication issues or generally anything related to childcare.

In any case, if it is related to your children, you would want to know right ?

Besides you would kick yourself if you didn’t answer and found out later it was an emergency.

So in these circumstances not answering is not really an option.

If it turns out to be unrelated then you have the choice to hang up.

Not before telling them that calls are only to be made if they are related to the children.

 

Likewise if you are going through divorce or selling a co owned house, there maybe no options other than answering.

If there is something you are both involved in like a business or a  financial transaction it is in your best interests to pick up and answer the phone.

Beyond that if none of those types of things are happening or an issue.

Then you should consider yourself  and your feelings first.

 

My ex called me and what do I think about that ?

 

Do you feel like answering ?

There are a number of other questions relating to this one alone.

Do you want them back ?

If that is the case it’s a good thing, but you still may choose not to answer.

Did you break up with them?

Are you going to give them a piece of your mind ?

Is it likely to turn into an argument ?

Is the time right to do so ?

Is it the middle of the night ?

Do you feel you can talk reasonably to this person in that moment ?

Can you face and deal with what they might have to say ?

 

When you get the my ex called me call, all these things can go through your mind.

And when given due consideration will give you an idea if you should talk to them or want to.

Do you want to talk to them ?

And do you want to talk to them right now ?

They are two completely different things.

Or can it wait and perhaps it should.

My ex called me and I didn’t pick up, no big deal.

 

Because if it is important enough they will call back.

 

And depending on how you feel about it .

This will influence how to react when my ex called me back.

 

My ex called me it was about nothing at all, just catching up.

 

In reality there maybe no such thing as a « Friendly » phone call from your Ex.

Contrary to popular belief, your ex is not likely to just stay in touch with you.  

If you think some sort of casual friendship can exist between you and someone you’ve dated or slept with and broken up with.

Well think again.  

All sorts of complications can arise from being « friends with your ex« ,

Even if you two have the all the best intentions in the world.

It is unlikely that it can last very long.

Think about the ramifications of “friends” meeting new potential partners.

How is that going to look or work ?

Or how will it sound in explanation or even worse on discovery ?

Possible nuclear fallout warning !

 

If you and your ex are trying to be friends, that means you probably should be dating.  

One of you still definitely loves the other.

And the person who’s loved still has enough emotional attachment that they don’t want to walk away.

It still does not make for a relationship that will be on any level or equal footing.

 

So… if he or she phoned me and wasn’t just to say hi, what do they want?  

Are they trying to patch up your relationship and that is very likely.

Or on the other hand, do they have some other bogus agenda in mind?

 

My ex called me, Why, what is the reason ?

 

Do you go through a break up regularly and then after some time make up again ?

This would be where you are constantly splitting up and getting back together.

But never really making any progress in your relationship towards stability and commitment.

If you and your ex have had several breakups already and are stuck in an on/off relationship.

Then they are likely looking to get back together again.

My ex called me why ?

It is the same old story they want to get back together

You might or might not want to do this again.

If you don’t then it is time to break this, on again, off again, cycle for good.

Then it is recommended that you don’t answer the phone and undertake what’s called a no-contact period.

Show your ex that you mean business.

 

My ex called me to get the low down, the info

 

Most of the time when an ex gets in touch with you, they’re sounding you out.  

My ex called looking for information.

They will be most likely trying to gauge your reaction when you talk to them.

My ex called and they want to know my situation.

Although they might not ask outright about your current dating status.

This is most likely the main reason why they called and what they want to know.

Whether you tell them the truth or a load of great white bull is totally up to you.

 

It may also possible that something has changed in your ex’s life like personal circumstances.

Something that reminded them of you, that put you back into their mind and they just wanted to tell you about it.

He or she called me to tell me the chrysanthemums have wilted.

Yeah right wake up and smell the pheromones coming over the phone.

Maybe they were dating someone else and it didn’t work out.

If they are telling you this then it is an almost straight indication that they want you back.

Well it may be as straight as it is going to get.

My ex phoned me to tell that their significant other position has just become vacant.

Do you want to apply ?

Or can we just commiserate.

 

Or maybe they were thinking about some good memories you had together.

Either way, it is very telling.

You are on your ex’s mind in a positive way.

And the fact they are telling you is doubly so sending a message to that point.

If you want to get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

You can take advantage of this attention to move it on.

In arranging a better time in a face to face meeting where you two can talk.

Just do not call it a date.

 

Tone and content

 

The tone and content of the phone call will tell you a lot about why they are calling.

For example if they broke up with you.

And in the conversation they sound pensive,full of regret and genuinely sorry for what they did.

This is someone who is most likely trying to get back into a relationship with you.

Regretting their recently realised mistakes and trying to make amends.

Showing that they are now someone who can take responsibility for their mistakes.

And be big enough to admit them and make an effort to change them.

 

On the other hand if they sound angry and are telling you about how wrong you were and how their new partner is better than you.

Trying to blame you for all of what happened without taking any any portion of the blame themselves.

This person may still have strong feelings for you.

But they are clearly not over the anger phase and may be in denial about their part in the breakup.

These calls are likely to be one sided.

My ex called me an expletive deleted imprecation epithet.

What does it mean? It is just plain mean.

They might just want to have the last word and it might not be good.

And to inflict suffering on you because that is how they feel and they want to be sure you do too.

 

My ex phoned and just rambled on for an hour or more.

 

There can be other kinds of conversations had on the phone.

Like the ones that are seemingly about nothing and go nowhere.

They could mean something to the other person but to you they seem rambling and random.

They may have gotten the information they wanted.

But they may have confused the bejeezus out of you.

 

Were they slurring their speech again.

Mumbling and whimpering at one in the day.

Something about wanting the same again.

Leaving you scratching your head wondering.

What the hell was that all about ?

That they didn’t or couldn’t get to the point of the conversation.

Was there even a point to it?

This could be put down to fear and indecision on the other persons part.

Fear of rejection and indecision about how to proceed to broach the subject.

Or even is it a good idea to get back together.

 

There is a possibility they could be stringing you along taking you for a proverbial ride.

Or they could be just indulging in silly petty head games to appease some twisted logic.

 

Most of the time if someone rings you it is with good reason.

It could be just as basic as the need to communicate.

There again when it is an ex it is most likely that they are calling and recalling those fond memories that you both have in the past and that they want to revisit with you.

It could mean more than just nostalgia when my ex called me back.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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