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The 4 Viking rules to follow when you miss your ex
So they broke up with you and you’re missing them like crazy…
Or maybe you broke up with them, but now you realize it was all a big mistake.
Either way, you are not convinced that moving on without this person is the right move.
You miss your ex and you desperately want to do something about it.
So here are the four Viking rules to follow when you miss your ex.
No the four rules are not maurade rape plunder and pillage.
I am not going to suggest that you grow a long beard and start wearing sheepskins.
That is unlikely to help you get over your ex.
Víkingar, from Old Norse or Vikings as they came to be known in the English tongue.
Were Norse seafarers who during the late 8th to late 11th centuries, raided and traded.
From their Northern European homelands in Scandinavia across wide areas of Europe.
And explored westwards to Iceland, Greenland, and Vinland commonly known as Newfoundland.
Perceived views of the Vikings as alternatively violent, piratical heathens,
or as intrepid adventurers owe much to the modern Viking myth.
That took shape over the twentieth century, probably in no small part due to Hollywood.
There were however some areas in which they were considered advanced.
Their navigation and sea faring abilities were reportedly very advanced.
Some suggesting the had the ability to navigate even in fog through the use of quartz crystals.
They also were advanced in gender politics.
It is commonly believed that women in their society had equal rights and status as a man.
Some even going as far as to suggest they had militaristic tendencies much like the men.
So these four rules are for men and women alike.
They can be used if you want to get back together.
Or if you want to move on to bigger and better things or people in this case.
1 Give them time to miss you and don’t panic
The best way for you to heal your heart,
even if you do get back together with them down the road,
is to just be patient and give it some time.
Time heals all wounds as they commonly say.
I know it is more than a bit of a cliche.
But it is true and it does work for this type of malady.
Your heart is a bleeding open wound right now, and you need time for it to heal.
There are no two ways around this.
I know you want to push through the pain, but grief has no timeline.
And everyone has their own processes that will facilitate that healing.
There is not a single thing you can do to rush the process.
You can do everything in your power to distract yourself from thinking.
About that pain and suffering while you heal and you miss your ex.
And that is the best you can do at this point in time.
While I know you are suffering as you miss your ex.
Seeing them will not help you or them at this point.
Things were said during the break up.
Hurtful things, even spiteful things in the heat of the moment.
That will take time to forget and to get over.
There is no point in trying to tell them how wrong they were.
They may be incapable of listening given the situation.
The best thing you can do is give them plenty of space and time.
2 When you miss your ex give them time to miss you
Some even suggest having a period of no contact or radio silence.
Even though this option or rule was not available to traditional vikings I will mention it.
The rule is plain and simple, you cut off your ex for a certain amount of time.
One to two months is the minimum for it to be effective.
You send a text message or an email letting them know you have a lot on your mind.
And you will reach out to them when you are ready.
As soon as you send off that message, all communication with your ex must cease.
Even if they call you back to back ten times in a row.
And they max out your inbox with messages.
Refrain from giving in and replying to them.
When you miss your ex give them time
to change the image they had of you
Giving them time with no contact allows the memories of you to change.
At the moment or immediately after the break up those images are not good or nice.
Regardless of who broke up with whom.
They had their reasons or maybe you did and now that has changed.
Whatever the case the deed is done and now the dust has to settle.
The heated words of the break up can slip and give way to nostalgia for what was lost.
The bad memories will be slowly replaced by the memories of the good times.
Don’t doubt that if you are missing them they will most likely be missing you.
And when you have no contact with them it will be made more intense by the fact.
3 When you miss your ex get out and about
During no contact it is not time to catch up on the box set of the wire.
Or some new Netflix series you have heard everybody rave about.
And say nothing for the black hole of free time that is social networking.
That will only help you miss your ex more and maintain the pain.
Studies have shown it actually increases the feelings of stress and anxiety.
Especially if you are cyber stalking or spying on your ex with it.
And when you happen to see them on it with someone new,
beside them in a load of new posts.
It can send you into a down ward spiral of depression or negativity.
Regardless of the fact that they are in reality long lost cousins.
It is just not a good thing for you to be doing right now.
There are more useful productive and beneficial things you can do with your life and time.
It is time to redress the balance to your life.
If it has been a while since you were last single.
There will be a lot of catching up to do.
Getting out and about may not seem like the thing you want to do right now.
But it will be good for you and your mindset.
And as a welcome distraction.
See your own city once again and how it has changed.
You are single to all intents and purposes so indulge yourself.
Go sight seeing and visit all those places that you used to as a single person.
You could even take a cruise or a trip abroad.
Nothing like a bit of marauding pillaging for a viking to feel like themselves once again.
Only joking but travelling if you have that option can do wonders for the mind.
Especially when you miss your ex.
It broadens the mind and who knows a little holiday romance could on the cards.
Focus on old friends and new people when you miss your ex
Have you ever noticed that when you put all of your focus on someone.
It seems to push them away?
That is why removing your focus from your ex,
will actually have the effect to draw them closer to you if that is what you want.
This is when meeting new friends will come in handy.
If you really want your ex to miss you, like you miss your ex.
You will need to step outside of your comfort zone a bit.
And that is a good thing.
Even though it may feel like you are a prisoner getting released into society.
You can not hide forever.
Of course it is important to keep a strong support system
and keep the old friends that you have made throughout the years.
But expanding your social circle and making a few new friends won’t hurt either.
By growing your circle of friends, it will fill up your social calendar.
With various events and outings to keep you busy,
and your mind occupied when you miss your ex.
And who couldn’t do with a new friend.
Who knows they may even have some dishy single friends.
That is always an option and no time like the present.
And if you are ready and willing to get back in to the dating scene, why not.
There is no reason or no one stopping you.
Why not enjoy just the attention that a possible date can give you.
It is a great self esteem booster.
Some even say if you are suffering and you miss your ex.
Go date like a world record breaker, there is nothing like it to get over obsessing.
Go on as many dates as you can.
And if you can handle that all well and good.
Just don’t go using someone else to hurt the ex.
You could be hurting more than two people.
When you miss your ex feel the love of family and friends
After some time in a relationship friends and family will surely have been somewhat neglected.
So take this opportunity to reconnect with old friends.
You have surely been through a break up with one or more of them previously.
So access that support network and catch up.
They will most likely be more than willing to help you get over the ex.
And show you how to have fun once again regardless of your relationship status.
4 When you miss your ex be sure to take care of yourself
The physical benefits of exercise improving your physical condition and fighting disease.
Have long been established
and physicians always encourage staying physically active.
Exercise is also considered vital for maintaining mental fitness, and it can reduce stress.
Studies show that it is very effective at reducing fatigue,
improving alertness and concentration,
and at enhancing overall cognitive function.
This can be especially helpful when stress has depleted your energy or ability to concentrate.
The mental benefits of aerobic exercise have a neurochemical basis.
Exercise reduces levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol.
It also stimulates the production of endorphins.
Chemicals in the brain that are the body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators.
Now more than ever, it’s important to take care of your health.
Realize that your body is vulnerable right now, and you may be more prone to getting sick.
David Sbarra, a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona,
researched what happened after couples split up.
He found that the psychological stress particularly after a longer relationships,
can seriously impact your immune system.
“The greater your anguish after a split and the longer that feeling persists,
the bigger the hit your immune system is likely to take,” he says.
Think about it this way you become so used to having that person around.
Especially if you lived together or just spent a lot of time together.
Now that they are gone, everything feels out of sync.
Studies have found that people in long term relationships,
tend to regulate each other’s biological rhythms.
A breakup can throw your entire physiology out of whack.
Disrupting your sleep, appetite, body temperature and even heart rate.
The stress of a divorce or a severe break up can compromise your immune system.
Perhaps you can not sleep properly without them next to you.
Or you have difficulty thinking straight or thinking at all.
All of this is normal, but you need to really take care of your health right now.
So while you might want to spend all your time on the couch feeling sorry for yourself.
You also don’t want to go overboard going out, taxing your immune system.
Find the balance that has time for both just not one in excess.
If you start to feel the worse for wear, cancel your plans for the night.
Treat yourself to a nice hot bath.
Or sauna in the viking tradition it can work wonders.
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com