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Jealous of my ex : How to overcome it after a breakup ?
Breakups can bring up shed loads of emotions most of them bad.
None more so than jealousy.
There’s nothing worse for you than being jealous of my ex after a break up.
Breakups are hard enough on their own.
Add a dose of jealousy and things can get out of control.
I’m jealous of my ex. How to overcome it after a breakup ?
Going through a break up can be difficult to say the least.
Especially if you were with the person for a significant amount of time.
Or invested a lot of your life with them.
Many people feel jealous once they find out that person is with someone else.
For most people, getting over a break up feels like it will take an eternity.
Getting over a breakup usually means eating unhealthy rubbish and isolation from others.
Using things like pictures and letters to remind ourselves.
Of our wonderful slash painful memories.
While listening to sad sad songs with blurry eyes and mumbling to ourselves.
In many cases, this is just a great recipe for depression.
And you will just look like a disaster zone.
Unfortunately, getting over a break up is mainly a mental process.
So there is nothing you can actually physically do about it.
It requires some time and effort on the behalf of the broken hearted.
As you will see, getting over a break up is more about not doing things.
Rather than about doing things.
You have every right to be upset after a breakup.
Denial, grief and guilt are some of the emotions that can be experienced after a breakup.
As well as jealousy and anger.
It is recommended that you start by taking a real good look at your feelings.
And try to understand them.
So that you can eventually put the relationship in perspective and move on.
I’m hoping to offer you some helpful ways to get over them and move on!
Put hope to bed.
Being « jealous of my ex » can bring thoughts of a reunion to mind.
It can be consciously or unconsciously thought of.
It could be rational or totally irrational thinking.
However you feel about this idea there is one sure fire way to get over both.
Both the relationship and the jealous of my ex part.
Completely and utterly accept that the relationship is dead and gone.
If you do this completely any residual feelings will have no basis for being.
Understandably at the end of a relationship there are some second thoughts.
These are usually the result of mixed emotions.
And second thoughts on the breakup.
This is normal after the split everyone has these passing thoughts.
Thinking about the possibilities and the ramifications of those decisions.
Is the normal process of decision making.
Weighing up the pros and cons of each option.
However if you have already made your mind up.
And now you are thinking again on your decision
It is a waste of your time and energy.
You could be focusing on so many other things in your life.
And second guessing yourself at every turn.
Can lead to an overwhelming number of options.
That will make choosing one very hard near impossible.
And in your situation being “jealous of my ex” it is no different.
You made your bed now you have to sleep in it.
So in moving on you should lay all hope of a reunion to rest.
It will benefit you no end.
Or the other option is you second guess every decision to no end.
Avoid contact with your ex.
If you are suffering “jealous of my ex” syndrome.
It is probably best you avoid them.
Things could get real ugly real fast.
It is not going to aid your recovery process.
To have recurring bouts of seeing them.
Then trying to get over them.
Then going back to square one, every time you catch a glimpse of them.
So in order to get some sort of concrete progress in that recovery.
And to make it stick you should avoid them.
Nothing will help the person who wants to stay stuck in the same places.
If you know they like to hang out at a specific bar or restaurant avoid it.
I am sure there are more than just those places your ex likes to frequent.
Well unless you live in a one horse town.
Where the bar is the restaurant.
Then I suggest you think about moving.
Find new places to hang out.
Think of it as an adventure to find nice new places.
Places that will have no memories or ex’s attached to them.
Erase or neutralize reminders.
Common practice in the event of a breakup.
Is to purge all reminders of the ex from your life.
This can be like ditching their toothbrush, taking down all photos of them .
Or any other things associated with them.
Things like presents, letters, emails, historical artifacts like mix tapes and so on.
As a part of moving on it is a great way to achieve some sort of closure.
The act of cleaning out the closet.
Can bring about a sense of finality to the whole situation.
The act of returning those things and burning those bridges.
Can be the final ritual of a relationship that you may be trying to cling on to.
In doing this ritual you are taking that extra step.
To turn over a new leaf in your life and starting with a new clean slate.
One that has no reminders of that old life you left behind.
It makes it easier to not think about them.
Giving you the fresh opportunity to really move on in a significant way.
Jealous of my ex, crying is okay just not in public
In moving on acceptance of the end and your feelings is essential.
This means getting over the denial of holding on to the outside chances of a reunion.
However hard that maybe.
A breakup in whatever form it takes is hard.
And the grief that comes with that is normal too.
So to accept that and to move on means accepting that grieving is normal too.
It could mean not getting off the couch for a weekend with a box of tissues.
It could mean you only bathe in those tears for that weekend.
Crying may be embarrassing but it is a normal reaction to grief.
And in order to move on you have to accept it as part of the process.
Crying has been shown in studies to help deal with physical pain.
So why wouldn’t it be useful in getting over emotional pain ?
With any breakup the emotions can be mixed up.
Crying one minute a furious rage of anger the next.
So maybe the the heuristic approach would be to have the tissues on the couch.
For the complete all round working out weekend.
Jealous of my ex revamp your social life.
In getting out of a relationship everything can seem like a whole lot of pain.
But in one way it is not.
You can see who you want, whenever you want.
And at whatever time you want.
All those friends that got left by the wayside.
When you started a relationship can be renewed.
Those friends your partner didn’t like you hanging out with.
Can replace your ex on speed dial.
All those times you didn’t get to go where you liked.
With who you liked are not out of bounds now.
People usually give up on some amount of socializing.
When they start a new relationship.
So the end of one is an opportunity.
An opportunity to reverse that trend and to renew old friendships.
It is also a great distraction.
To keep you from thinking that you are “jealous of my ex”.
The love and companionship of good friends can go some way towards replacing your ex.
It can make you feel less lonely or alone.
Jealous of my ex : don’t indulge yourself with a rebound.
Some people suggest when you finish dating someone.
The best way to get over them is to date someone else.
Jump back in the saddle.
Is good advice for crashed cyclists and fallen jockey’s.
It is not really a great idea for suffering daters.
Think about the person you will date.
It could be someone you could really like.
And you will be carrying a certain amount of baggage.
Do you really want to ruin your chances with them.
Or of meeting a great significant other like that?
What about their feelings about being used as revenge bait ?
And their chances of meeting you and getting to find that out.
It just is not giving that relationship a fair opportunity.
To get to develop to its full potential and richness.
You cripple it before it starts with the baggage.
Sure have fun that is recommended.
But just don’t use someone to get over someone else.
It is not fair on them or you in the end.
Talk about it with a good friend.
Access your support network of good friends and talk it over with them.
Having a non judgmental friend who will lend you their ear for an evening will help.
It will help you get the things you need to say off your chest and out in the open.
It is the essence of therapy without the bills.
Besides you may have done the same for them at some stage.
It feels good to get that kind of release and vent.
And to let the feelings out in an effort to move on.
Just hearing the words coming from your mouth.
Can help you see things in a new perspective.
Talking about your feelings, your experiences that lead you to feel jealous.
And all the negative things about your ex.
Analyse your relationship and ask for your friend’s honest opinion about it.
People usually sugar coat their relationship in the beginning.
So having an honest friend to take away all that sugar coating can be very helpful.
Write a letter without sending it.
By the same token you could put all your thoughts and feelings in a letter.
As frank and damning as you like or dislike as the case may be.
You are under no pressure to censor or hold back.
You can be as free as you like.
You don’t have to even think of sending it.
You could get a good friend to read it.
And then destroy it as an act of closure and release.
Dealing with jealousy.
Feeling jealous in a relationship is very common.
Everybody feels jealous to some degree or other.
But most choose to deny it.
Dealing with jealousy, however, is a skill only few people master.
One bad experience with your ex partner may make it seem impossible.
Impossible for you to be dealing with jealousy in a healthy way ever again.
Checking out your ex’s social media profiles and feeds is not going to help you at all.
In fact it has been shown in studies.
To lead to increased feelings of jealousy and resentment.
And that is for couples in a relationship.
So after a breakup and the fact that you are feeling “Jealous of my ex”.
It is not recommended for you.
Perhaps you should block unfriend or unfollow them on social media.
It is hard to avoid it but given the circumstances it is the best thing for you to do.
There is a thin line between healthy and unhealthy jealousy.
Almost like a virus jealousy affects your thoughts and feelings.
And behavior in a sickening way without even being aware of it.
Like dealing with a virus, dealing with jealousy starts from the inside.
Jealousy is a feeling You have, not something your partner has.
So you have to fight it, because although it is pointed at them.
Being “jealous of my ex” makes you suffer more than them.
They may be oblivious to the fact.
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com