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I married my ex : How to do it


I married my ex : if there was ever a success story in getting your ex back it is mine.

I married my ex and it was not all plain sailing.

We had our issues but we faced them and overcame them.

I married my ex after a number of months apart.

We dated other people and then got back together again.

I married my ex here’s how to do it.

 

The number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate.

This problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations.

As we did by openly discussing frustrations, before matters get out of hand.

Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy.

But they can be overcome with understanding in time and with persistence.

 

No contact is the key to how I married my ex

This is the first step in getting your ex back.

It means having a period of time without contacting them whatever.

No phones calls, no emails, no texts or internet messaging nothing.

The purpose of this is to show them what it would be like without you.

And in order to see that it means resisting the urge to contact them.

 

This works on a number of levels.

First they won’t understand why you are not in contact with them.

Second they get to feel what it would be like without you.

Third they get to miss you and all that you mean to them.

Fourth the anger associated with the breakup gets time to fade.

After a while the negative feelings in time give way to more positive and nostalgic ones.

 

When you start to implement the rest of the plan.

They will begin to take you seriously and your actions not the words the actions.

No contact time gives them the space and time.

To begin to think for themselves .

Which is not always the best thing for them.

They will begin to speculate what you are up to.

They will put one and one together and get four.

They may even start to imagine all sorts of things.

No contact for them means lots of work for you.

 

I married my ex by being the best I could be

This is where you take the time from no contact to really reinvent yourself.

By this I mean work on your looks.

Work on your style.

Work on your life.

Work on your social life this can include a few dates here and there.

Work on your hobbies.

So by the time no contact is over you will look like you have no time for them.

You will be looking your best from working out a bit perhaps.

You will probably have gotten some new clothes maybe even a new hairstyle.

You will be living the life.

So busy with a full life that they will wonder where they will fit in if they can.

And you will make it seem like they can’t they cant fit the bill.

You will also have to work on the relationship.

You will need to understand why the relationship failed.

The causes on both sides that led to the breakup.

This is essential if the problems are to be seen as not an issue to resuming a relationship.

 

I married my ex by proving that my time and myself are valuable

When you prove your time is valuable to yourself they will see the value within you.

They will begin to question are they good enough for you.

Whereas before you were under their thumb you may have been too available.

 

It will challenge them to see the value in courting, dating you and eventually marrying you.

This will take time effort and more time and more effort.

It will be a lot and it won’t be easy but if it is what you want.

And you want it enough to commit to staying the course it is achievable.

I know it is I married my ex.

 

I married my ex by showing them I was marriage material

Are you emotionally available to your partner ?

This might seem obvious, but it’s something many people gloss over.

In order for someone to be marriage material.

They need to be able to open up and share what is going on emotionally for them.

That’s because sharing your feelings is part of what keeps you close as a couple.

 

A lot of people assume that marriage itself will get a person to share more by default,

But this isn’t always the case.

A good rule is that if you expect something to be different.

After the wedding that will make you satisfied with the marriage.

But it isn’t present now, you are not going to be satisfied after the wedding either.

Now, you should make sure you’re ready to be married too.

 

I married my ex by having  a good sense of humor

It might seem like a “nice to have” rather than a requirement, but hear me out.

I’m not talking about the type of partner who is constantly making fun of you and others.

I’m talking about something different.

They have the ability to laugh at themselves more than anybody else.

Rather than making jokes at others’ expense.

Their ability to laugh at themselves shows a degree of humility.

That is very desirable in a life partner.

It’s good if you can laugh at yourself too.

 

I married my ex after some background checks

Do they speak positively about their exes?

It’s a great sign if they historically have had good relationships.

If not, you’re likely to be next in a line of failures.

Although if they’ve had some bad relationships, all hope isn’t lost.

Ask questions and reflect on the answers.

And consider if that person has grown up from their youthfully errant ways.

 

I married my ex after seeing how they resolve conflict

Pay attention to how they fight with you and other people.

If they hit below the belt when conflict arises, that’s not a good sign.

Marriages will inevitably have conflict don’t doubt that.

And making sure that you and your partner are both willing and able to fight fair.

Is vital to the success of the relationship.

 

Are they self sufficient ?

An independent partner is a happy partner.

A good relationship requires mutuality and the ability to go back and forth in giving and seeking support.

It is important that someone be able to take care of themselves emotionally and physically.

For the most part, anyways.

If they can’t, they will never be able to provide the support they need to provide when that is called for.

 

I married my ex because they made me want to be a better person

When your partner inspires you to be the best version of yourself.

That is a key factor in knowing they are marriage material.

Being in a committed relationship with someone who pushes and drives you.

Toward your aspirations and goals solidifies that they want what’s best for you.

You might not consciously think, “I want to be better.”

But if you find your partner encouraging you to do things that enrich your career, home life, or health.

They’re very likely marriage material.

And getting engaged will push you to change even more for the better.

 

They treat others well also

And not just their peers.

Pay attention to how your partner treats wait-staff in a restaurant or any other service position.

These people are a captive audience so they have to put up with anybody who enters their business.

Hopefully your partner knows this and treats them well.

This also points out that treating other people kindly shows that they’re compassionate.

Which in turn improves the odds that they will treat you well for years to come.

 

I married my ex because we were compatible

If you have good sexual chemistry and same level of desire for physical touch.

This is a good indicator of a partner being marriage material.

Of course, they should have other good qualities, too.

But it makes it easier down the road if sex isn’t a sticking point in your relationship.

Sexual skills can be learned and chemistry can be worked on.

But if they are there already, that’s one less hurdle to have to overcome.

 

They follow through

When your partner says they’ll do something, they actually do it.

If they can’t, you have nothing because they can’t commit to you either.

Indicators of this quality can be as small as whether or not they show up for dates on time.

fulfill work obligations, or keep plans with their friends more often than not.

If so, then you know they’re capable of committing fully to your relationship.

If not, it could be a warning sign.

 

They come to you when they need help

When your partner has a bad day, who do they talk about it with?

Make sure your partner turns towards you in times of stress or crisis.

If they do, that means they’ll be better-equipped to weather storms with you in marriage.

People either turn toward one another or turn away when they are upset.

You should both be developing a pattern of looking for support from the relationship and each other.

 

I married my ex because we have similar values

Anyone considering marriage should have a set of values that are core to them and a must in a partner.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you agree on absolutely everything,

But your most important principles should line up.

These are values about how to treat people, prioritize resources in life, etc.

Not just values about what kind of entertainment is better.

So make sure you have a long talk about your values before you pop the question.

 

They are okay with change

Things change; it’s inevitable.

Yet so many couples marry with the expectation that if things are good in their relationship.

That they will stay that way.

Sadly, that is far from reality.

Relationships and marriage are not static.

They do change over time.

And it is a very good sign if your prospective partner and you both understand this.

Even better if you’ve already been through some ups and downs already and seen this in action.

Having this awareness means that your partner is mature enough to adapt to new situations.

And challenges that will impact even the very best of marriages over time.

 

Because they do what they can to make your life easier

If your partner goes ahead and makes your coffee since they get up earlier.

Or picks up groceries on their way home.

Or runs an errand they know you’ve been meaning to get to forever.

They’re actually showing you how much they care about you.

Having this as a personality trait bodes well for a happy life and loving relationship.

Things just go more smoothly when this factor is present.

 

They Like Your Friends

This might seem unimportant, but it matters in the long run.

Many people are forced to choose between friends and their partner.

And this quickly spirals a relationship downward.

When you see your partner taking an interest in the people who have helped mold your life.

It is a definite indicator that they care about your happiness as a whole.

Of course, they might not get along with every single one of your friends,

But it’s the overall trend that matters here.

 

I married my ex because they can deal with a crisis

If you haven’t gone through a major life trauma with your partner.

Then you don’t really know them.

After all, you never know what might happen during the course of your lives.

How your partner copes with challenges and crisis is a reflection of their personality on a deep level.

Do they attack or blame you or others?

Do they panic and lose their sense of balance or responsibility?

Do they stay composed and make sensible choices?

Don’t marry until you have a clear understanding of how maturely your partner reacts.

And how it impacts your own life.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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