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I got dumped : the GMEB community gives you advice to move on
« I got dumped » : so, I would hazard a guess and suggest that there would be very few people to whom this does not apply.
It kind of goes hand in hand you have relationships I got dumped or We broke up.
I would say there are very few people who can not say I got dumped.
Maybe the forty year old virgin or the Pope could.
We live in hope but most of the time that hope gets dashed on the rocks.
We live and learn hopefully.
And I got dumped is not the end of the world as we know it but just a hard lesson.
One that we all learn at some stage.
Here we are going to hear from the GEMB community and their experiences of that scenario.
She dropped me
Nick tells us at Get My Ex Back:
« I was dumped by my girlfriend … I felt that it was wrong and I thought I could fix things.
The problem was that stress and the idea she could dump me terrorized me.
This fear changed my behavior, I could not be myself.
I was less spontaneous, less funny, less comfortable.
I was dropped by my princess and I find myself like an outcast! «
Unfortunately, this kind of situation is quite commonplace and not at all unusual.
When we go out with someone who impresses us,
we tend to idealize them and devalue ourselves by contrast.
Just thinking that we are not good enough leads us to act as if it were the case and a fact.
But you certainly should know that « dependent » or « filtered » behaviors are not particularly desirable.
He dropped me
Kathy confides to us that:
« It’s never usually me that is the principle in breaking up, but here I was dumped by my guy.
I did not really understand what had happened.
It seemed to me that everything was fine and then all of a sudden full stop, he put an end to it all.
A few days later, he told me he was wrong.
He was not looking for a girl like me (without explaining what he was looking for).
Not all relationships are built to last as I said we live in hope.
But it is more like a trial and error kind of thing.
I know this site is Get My Ex Back but there are some reunions that will not work out.
There is probably a better match for Kathy out there.
A guy who knows better what he is looking for.
That is the thing about relationships it takes time to find the right match.
It is about finding out that you two are a matched pair to make a great couple.
Sure there will be some trouble it is never all plain sailing.
That is to be expected.
how you deal with trouble will also be key to a successful relationship.
I got dumped out of the blue
It is common in this situation to hear I never saw it coming or it happened all of a sudden.
Or things like they were no signs that he or she was thinking that way.
Then I got dumped.
At least when you have troubles there is a sign that things are not running smoothly.
You are prepared for a fight or flight reaction.
It can be you fight for the relationship or fight to end it and then you take flight.
But at least you had the signs you had options to work it out or not as the case may be.
Some just don’t see the signs even though they are there.
This could be part of the symptoms of the malady that affects the relationship.
Or blissful ignorance to the truth.
Either way in the immediate aftermath the shock and emotions can blind us.
To the signs that can be reasoned and clearly visible in hindsight and the cold light of day.
Given the ultimatum and the time to think about it.
Why I got dumped can be kind of obvious.
Emotional detachment various disappointments and so on come clear after some soul searching.
Sometimes it is used as a wake up call.
For the couple to address and redress issues that have cropped up.
This can be symptomatic of communication failure.
A common and top reason for couples to break up.
I got dumped by text
In today’s highly connected world it is no wonder that when a good proportion of our lives is spent on some kind of device or online in some form.
That the end of relationships also takes place in this universe.
Despite all the fanfare about our always on inter connectedness of the net.
That this method is the one that is the least communicative.
Offering little in the way of humanity’s best qualities.
It is often seen as the cowards way avoiding the face to face.
Showing definitive communication issues and lack of tack.
It could be as simple as a text that states “You are dumped get over it”.
And that is that, one relationship done and dusted.
It can display an absolute opposite of love which is not hate but indifference to the relationship.
Indifference to the feelings of another.
Or an indifference to even the relationship that they said they were involved in.
It can cut the hours, days or even months of arguing and break up “discussions”.
Cut them down from a War and Peace epic to a couple of words.
Cold but effective, it has to be the quickest and absolute method.
Giving no room for explanations or discussions a cold full stop.
There are few colder methods beyond this one most others have some amount of consideration for the partner.
I got dumped : What to do ?
There are many common reactions to getting dropped.
Most of them involve a certain amount of self pity initially.
The soul searching, the thinking about the lost love, the lapse of general hygiene standards.
In many cases the outcome can be varied and completely different in time scales and circumstances.
But in all cases regardless there is one thing that unites all of them.
A return to the self and to engage with what life has to offer.
Some may take different routes and amounts of time.
But all will have to get back to themselves eventually.
Even if an attempt at reunion is on the cards it is still very important if this is the case.
In fact it is crucial in getting your ex back after “I got dumped”.
Though it might not be 100 per cent right or successful.
It is necessary no it is obligatory there is no way around it.
Return to normal after I got dumped
Getting back to yourself can take as many routes as how you got here.
You could let time heal all wounds like it does but that is not taking an active part in that recovery.
And that is what you need to do.
I mean you could squat on your couch and wait for time to do its thing.
Alas that will not mean development for you or even mean meeting someone new.
Which I am sure you do want to but perhaps not immediately.
What you do need to do is to take care of yourself that is essential.
It can take the form of a new and extensive work out program.
Physical exercise has been shown to aid the recovery of sufferers of depression.
And that is likely what you are experiencing in some form or other after a break up.
The fact that you engage in physical exercise has a number of other benefits that will help you get back on form.
It helps the mind focus on other things rather than ruminating on lost love.
It also helps to get a good night’s rest after a strenuous work out.
It also can be a social thing.
Meeting up with others to go to the gym if that is your thing.
Or for a pleasant brisk walk if is not.
Socialize with others
Meeting up with others socially is a must too and a must do.
At this time and given your situation.
There is no reason why you should not.
Your friends and family can act as your support network after a break up.
They can listen to your woes and offer advice if needed.
They can be the ones you release your emotions with in a safe and non judgmental way.
I am sure that you and they have had the same experiences so share with them.
Just do not go overboard with the relationship break up talk it does have to have an end.
You do not want to become that person who only has one topic for conversation and it is the ex.
That can get very tiresome very quickly.
A very great help in getting back to yourself is to go out and socialize.
Have fun there is nothing stopping you.
If you think there is then you will find that it is you stopping yourself from having fun.
Embrace being single again.
After a period of time following the break up slump comes a time of increased vigor.
And a sense of lust for life it can be the feeling like the shackles of a relationship are removed.
There is nothing more attractive than a person who knows how to have fun and live life.
You could throw yourself into your work or even look for a new job.
You know what they say a change is as good as a rest.
Or you could take up some home improvements.
You could repaint your domicile a new color one that you like.
It does not have to be that drastic it can be as small as clearing out your closets.
Decluttering all the things that remind you of the relationship and the ex is a common practice.
Getting rid of all those tiny reminders photos clothes etc.
Can be very helpful and liberating in getting you back to yourself.
Another means to recover some self esteem which can take a beating after I got dumped.
Is to take some more interest in your appearance.
This also can take a back seat in long term relationships.
Where many think there is not so much of a need to do so.
As you have let your partner see you at your worst moments.
Well now is the time to tackle this to make you feel better about yourself.
And make yourself look better.
It may sound vain or shallow it is not.
It is about changing your mind to a positive out look.
And if you look like a down and out you will feel that way.
So while you are clearing out the closet get some new well fitting nice clothes even a haircut.
These small things on the out side.
Can help to change the way you are feeling and thinking on the inside.
Changing the attitude from I got dumped and down about myself.
To I got up again better than ever.
Take the time to do the things you used to do before you got in to a relationship.
If you had interests that went by the way side take them up again.
Take life drawing classes learn a new language.
Take up line dancing jump out of a plane with a parachute of course.
The things that maybe as a couple you did not get to do you have the time now to do so.
That band you loved but the ex did not, are playing go see them.
With a friend there is no reason not to now that you are single.
Take up a course that you always wanted to do.
Learning new skills is a great way to distract yourself from negative thinking.
And negative thinking is your main barrier for yourself at this point.
A positive attitude will open more doors for you than a negative one.
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com