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How to win your ex boyfriend back after a breakup


win your ex-boyfriend backAfter a breakup you often want to scream, cry, throw things; anything to release all your feelings of hurt, anger, disappointment or betrayal and get them out of your system.  But once you’ve had a chance to calm down and really think about the breakup, you realize that it should never have happened.  You still love him, and you want to try again and make it work, so how do you know how to win your ex boyfriend back after a breakup?  How can you make him see what you see so clearly: that you’re meant to be together? And most important, do you just know how to win your ex boyfriend back ?  Read this article and follow our advice to find out how to win your ex boyfriend back and get your relationship back on track.

No contact method to understand how to win your ex boyfriend back

The no contact method is a very useful and effective means to getting your ex back, but it requires you to be determined and resolved in your attempt.  You must cut off all contact with your ex: no visits, no calls, no texts, and no messages.  If you want this method to work you have to fully commit to it.

Recover

One of the most important reasons for a no contact period is to give you and your ex-boyfriend a chance to recover from the breakup.  While the split is still fresh in your minds, you will both still be feeling anger, hurt, guilt, resentment… and you can’t get back together until you’ve had a chance to purge yourselves of these emotions.  You should use the no contact period to work through any residual negative feelings you have for your ex so that when you attempt to get back together, you’ll be starting on a clean slate and there will be no animosity between you.  You should also use this silence period to think carefully about the relationship and the breakup.  Consider your motivations for wanting to get him back and be certain that reconciliation is the best course of action.  Consider the breakup and identify where you and your ex-boyfriend went wrong; why you broke up and any arguments, disagreements, lies or betrayals that led to it.  You must know what went wrong in the relationship if you want to fix it, and so you don’t repeat the same errors when you see how to win your ex boyfriend back.

Effects

Many of you may ask: what benefit does a no contact period have on the relationship or on my attempt to get back together with my ex-boyfriend?  It’s simple.  The idea of a period of silence is to make him miss you.  He’s used to seeing you every day and talking to you and texting you constantly, so when you suddenly go radio silent, he’s going to wonder why you’re not calling.  He’s going to remark on your absence and he’s going to miss you, and missing you is going to make him think about you; it may even make him reconsider the breakup.  He’s going to become very curious about where you are, what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.  Initiating a period of silence is going to create an air of mystery around you and he’s going to be intrigued.  After all, who can resist a little mystery?

Self-improvement

You should also use this time and space away from your ex to work on yourself.  Work on any annoying habits you have, things that your ex disliked, or simply work on your attitude.  Stay out of the house and do things to distract yourself from missing your ex; try new things or take up a hobby or sport.  Work on improving yourself, as this will make you more attractive to him and it will become obvious that you’ve changed when you attempt to understand how to win your ex boyfriend back after a breakup.

Seduce him

Most relationships fall apart because as time passes, attraction fades.  If you want to get your ex back, you’ll have to recreate the attraction between you and your ex, which means you’ll have to be sexy, flirt, and be more like the person you were when you first got together.

Makeover

Give yourself a makeover.  Get a new haircut, try some new makeup and buy new clothes that fit you well and suit you.  You don’t have to completely change who you are or wear clothes that are too revealing or make you feel uncomfortable; just change things up slightly so that you look attractive and appealing, but so you are also comfortable in your new clothes.  You could also appeal to his senses.  When you’re buying new clothes, keep in mind his favorite colors, or the colors that he always liked to see you wearing.  He loved when you wore your sexy red dress, so perhaps you could invest in a few more fitted red shirts or dresses.  You can also appeal to his sense of smell.  Buy some new perfume or body lotion, something you’ve never tried before and which is sweet and feminine but not overpowering.  Recreate his attraction to you by making yourself look sexier than you’ve ever looked before to succeed at how to win your ex boyfriend back.

Be unattainable

get him backPeople always want the things that they can’t have, so if he thinks you want to get back together right away, he won’t want you, but if he thinks you have no interest in getting back together, he’s going to want you.  There is nothing wrong with being a little unattainable and playing hard to get when you’re attempting to find how to win your ex boyfriend back after a breakup.  Let him see what he’s missing, and the more he thinks he can’t have you the more he’s going to want you.  When you see him, be friendly and happy, but a little bit aloof.  It won’t do any harm for him to think that you’re a little out of reach.

Flirt

Make yourself seem sexy but just slightly unattainable to your ex by flirting with him.  Start off small, with just light touches on the arm or a coy smile, and the more you see him the more you can flirt, to show him that you would like to get back together.  Smile at him a lot, be attentive to him, touch him often, give him a hug or a kiss on the cheek when you meet up or when you’re leaving, and send him flirty texts before or after your meetings.  Always leave him wanting more.  When you’re looking sexy and flirting with him he won’t be able to resist, and you’ll win him back in no time.

Bury the hatchet

This does not mean have a big argument and bury the hatchet in each other’s heads; it means that if you want to be successful at how to win your ex boyfriend back after a breakup, you’re going to have to apologize for any part you played in the breakup or the decline of your relationship.

Say you’re sorry

Apologize for anything you did that you know was out of line or that led to the end of your relationship.  You identified these things during the no contact period, so you know exactly what it is that you have to apologize for.  Say you’re sorry, and be clear on why you’re apologizing.  Say it once and say it sincerely, then move on.  Repeating how sorry you are over and over again will make the apology itself lose meaning.  If you say it once and mean it, it’s genuine.  If you repeat it over and over, it’s just words.

Forgive and forget

Just as you’ve apologized to him, if he apologizes in return for anything he has done or for breaking up with you, you need to be able to forgive him and move on.  Don’t attack him for anything he has done just after he has forgiven you for what you’ve done.  You both made mistakes and you both need to accept responsibility.  If he apologizes, don’t hesitate to forgive him.  If you want to find how to win your ex boyfriend back after a breakup, the two of you need to forgive and forget.  Leave your old relationship and the problems it had in the past in the interest of moving on and looking to the future.

Win him over

Now that you’ve cleared the air between you and your ex, made him miss you, flirted with him and made him want you, it’s time to win him over.  Make it clear that you’re interested in getting back together, and subtly lead him to confess that he would like this too.

Use your intimate knowledge

You and your ex were together for a long time and you know him well.  Use the knowledge that you have of him, his hobbies, his likes and dislikes, to show him how well you know him and to win him over.  Buy him little gifts, small things that you know he’ll appreciate, or when you get together, surprise him by taking him to do things you know he’ll enjoy.  If he likes football, take him to see his favourite team play.  If he enjoys laser tag, go and do that together.  If he’s having a lot of fun, he’ll begin to associate that feeling with you, he’ll realise how much he enjoys spending time with you and you’ll win him over.

Show you’ve changed

While you may try to know how to win your ex boyfriend back, he may still have some reservations about getting back together with you, so you have to use the time that you’ve spent with him to show him that you’ve changed.  It’s likely that you’ll manage this without even trying, as the work that you did on yourself during the no contact period will make you seem different and more positive right away, and this should shine through in the way you speak, the things you do and the way you make your ex feel.  You have to make it clear to him that things would be different if the two of you tried again because you’re different now.  Show him that if you got back together it wouldn’t be heading towards the same train wreck as before; it would be a different relationship, a better relationship, and the two of you could really make it work.

But, how to win your ex boyfriend back ?

win my ex backWhen you’ve done all these things, it’s time to win him back.  If he doesn’t bring up the idea of the two of you getting back together after you’ve spent some time with him on a few different occasions, you can bring it up.  If you’re more submissive and don’t feel bold enough to suggest it you could subtly mention your relationship in conversation and hope that he’ll pick up on the subject.  However, men aren’t always the brightest crayons in the pack and don’t always pick up on even the most obvious hints, so it may be better to avoid beating around the bush and just tell your ex that you would like to get back together and ask what he thinks.

If your ex is reluctant or unsure, you may just need to give him a little more time to mull it over.  Allow him this, tell him you understand that he needs a little time and to just let you know what his decision is when he’s made it, and in the meantime the two of you can just continue to hang out as friends.

If he completely rejects the idea of getting back together, you tried and failed, and there’s no shame in that.  At least now that you know this relationship is a lost cause, you can give up on it and move on with your life.  It may be difficult, but you just have to accept that this relationship just wasn’t right for you, but maybe your next one will be.

If your ex agrees, congratulations!  You’ve managed to win your ex-boyfriend back after a breakup and the two of you should be very happy and relieved that you’ve managed to overcome this bump in the road.  However you should recognise that getting back together is only the start, and you and your partner have a lot of work to do on your relationship in the near future, but for now, you can take some time to revel in your success at winning your ex-boyfriend back.

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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