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How to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact : 5 rules to follow

Is there just any way how to text an ex girlfriend after no contact ?

Ok, so you have done the no contact period.

Now you’re ready to run out the gates like a racehorse at the track. Slow down boy.

What are you going to say do you know How to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact?

“Hey girl whats up?”

That’s not how to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact.

That’s how to fail miserably.


What happens immediately after a breakup is usually a reaction.

A reaction from instincts of neediness, desperation, immaturity or sometimes a power struggle.

All these instincts need to be absent absolutely from your communications text or phones calls.

And also if you do later get to meet in person


What you do right now can either help you both get back together.

Or it can confirm that breaking up was the right decision.

What you say, and how you say it, is crucial.

Don’t doubt that for one minute and be vigilant to not drop the ball in that regard.


Due consideration for you and her.

Before you start texting away, You need to stop and think.

Wait again but I did the waiting thing already I hear you say I’ve done no contact.


You should stop to think really is it a good idea to try patch up the relationship.

I mean are there are things you have to consider.


First of all, how did the relationship end?

Some breakups are so brutal,  you can never really come back from them.

I mean does she have you ex buddies name tattooed on her back that you are going to have to see ?


Is she going to spit venom in your face for the way you treated her in the break up.

If so, it’s probably not a good idea to try and be friends.


Second thing you have to ask is about the timing.

How long has it been you called it quits? A couple of weeks?

Do you really think that is enough time for her to get over the break up ?

That’s probably too soon.

A couple of months possibly a year ? You may have a better chance.

It’s been long enough for all the hard feelings to fade along with her tattoo…


It could be time to resurface in her life as someone she knows, as a friend.

A purely platonic relationship has a chance to develop.

And that’s how it should begin.

Thinking or even worse pushing for something more will be pushing your luck.

It can seem needy or desperate.


One more thing you should think about before texting is to ask yourself.

How much did I actually like them in the first place?

Not how much were you attracted to them, or infatuated with them,

But how much you legitimately enjoy their company?

Has their absence left a friendship void in your life?

Make sure they are deserving or worth the emotional effort that will crop up.

And that effort will be on all sides yours and hers.

And it is not guaranteed that she will want to make that effort.

That is a big IF…


Ok if you have asked and answered those hard questions .

Let’s ask some other hard questions


How to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact Have you got your mindset?

Have you got your mindset ?

Yeah you have said your mind is set.

That is not the question.


When it comes to finding love, people can be divided in two types.

People with a scarcity mindset.

And people with an abundance mindset.


If you are saying or thinking there is no one else for you.

Or she is the only one your thinking is motivated by scarcity and the fear of being alone.


And that is the wrong way to think about getting her back.

You are going to act clingy, desperate and needy.

And this will drive her away, believe me it will.


People with the abundance mindset believe there is unlimited love and happiness in the world.

They are not afraid nor do they think they will run out of love or happiness.

Because they know that there are more right around the corner.

And this believe me feeds into your self confidence levels.

Also this proves your motivations are less about the fear of losing her.


This is essential if you are to play it cool.

And that is another skill you will have to have.


Ask yourself, are you emotionally and mentally ready to contact your ex?


Have you accepted that there are endless possibilities to find love and happiness in this world?


Do you think that you can love someone other than your ex ?


Do you have the SELF CONFIDENCE to instill desire in the ex ?


How to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact, Tools and skill set needed

You broke up once before maybe more than once.

You need to show that you have developed on a personal level not just as a date.

To really show them things can be different this time.

It’s time to show the new you.

It’s important that you show them that you have and are capable of making changes.

Instead of just telling them that you can or you did.

The problems that prompted the break up need to be cleared so that they are no longer issues.

Issues that will foreshadow your friendship.


If there were issues with communication or arguments prior or during relationship make inroads on those.

You can’t begin again and fall into the same old bad habits.  

An interesting article which teaches basics of effective communication.–  Improving Communication Skills  

Effective communication will be essential with how to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact.



Confidence Level

You should be looking and feeling in tip top shape both inside and out.


Communication Skills

You should be communicating at a higher level than you did previously.

With openness honesty and maturity hopefully.


Time Management Skills

If this was an issue previously it should be shown not to be one now.

That you have achieved a proper work life balance that allows and demonstrates abilities to that end


Your Passion

This is where you present your love of life and show you are passionate.

Passionate about something other than just your love life though it will reflect that.

It could be social causes, a love of sport or the arts.

But it has to show that you are passionate.


Prime your ex before you even reach out

This is about creating interest in you in how to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact.

Baiting a trap so to speak.

Priming is a sales pitch, where the buyer doesn’t even know they are being targeted for a sale.  

It is like creating interest in the buyer before even suggesting that something is for sale.

It can’t be obvious or shouldn’t even be pointed directly at your ex.

It should peak their interest and make her want to engage.


How to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact?

Make your first text about creating curiosity.


Engage them in a small conversation to hook them.

Leave her wanting more.

And end it at a high point rather than when the conversation has reached a lull.

This leaves her wanting to continue to chat with you.


Think about it like the hook at the end of a television serial episode.

The cliffhanger that means you can’t wait to see what happens next.


Just keep it light and don’t take it personally if they’re not ready.

You probably have no idea where they may be emotionally with the break up.


If you’re determined to turn your ex into a friend, check in periodically.

But not too often, or it won’t allow them to warm to the idea of being friends.


Know when is the right time to text her

Timing is everything in how to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact.

You should definitely be over the no contact period feeling confident, but not cocky.

Your attitude and temperament should be slow and sure, not rushed.

There should be no hint of desperation, that will destroy any chance of success.

This part of timing is about the time being right for you and you being right for it.

Another part of the timing will be about her readiness to receive texts.


Then there is the general timing of the communications.

This should be obvious but to some it may not be.

The middle of the night is obviously not a good time to text.

That’s not how to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact.

It is inconsiderate and could very well make her grumpy.

And things could get ugly very fast beauty sleep and all.


Another bad time to text is during work hours.

Regardless whether or not she has her phone on silent or not.

If she is busy in work chances are she may not appreciate it.

So try to aim for a time when she will be most receptive.

If you have an idea of what her schedule is like try send the text in down time.

When she is relaxing and doing little.

Rather than when she will be busy and you could be interrupting something important.  


How to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact, the goal of texting her

How to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact, it needs to create a synergy between three things :

  • Focus on rebuilding a rapport with her
  • Create attraction by flirting
  • Transition from text messages to phone calls


What you need to do is find some indirect way to get her excited about talking to you.

In replying to your texts.

It could be like you almost  “create” a coincidence that you could highlight.

Or attract her attention with a social media feed.

Something that is tailored slightly to suit her interests.

Something that might catch her eye naturally.

It does take some thought and time to get this right to attract her attention.

It may take a couple of attempts to get right.


Lets just give an example say your ex is a cat person.

Lord knows there is enough content of cats on the internet.

Find one relatively new one and post it on your social media, if you are unsure of direct contact.

The result, if any, is that it will seem like it was her choice to engage with you.

Rather than you phishing for a reply to a direct approach.


Or you could take the more direct tack.

And text her the link saying how you saw this and thought of her.

It is up to her to respond it’s kind of open ended.

From this you can get an idea of her state of mind and gauge the level of her interest.

If she ignores it completely take time.

Think again and work on another idea.

If she responds, the tone and content of the reply will give you indications on how to proceed.


This example is so very general.

But I hope it gives you an idea about tailoring interests. circumstances and approaches to suit.

And each case is different.

And remember this is not about rekindling a relationship but building a completely new one.

It should always be done slowly with due care and attention.


Slowly building communications into friendship, while building attraction.

Prepare a response for every likely outcome.

Fail to prepare is to prepare to fail.

I’m not saying you will fail but be prepared for the worst.


Think of it like a chess match. Always be thinking several moves ahead.

In that way if the reaction is bad you are ready for it.

And you wont respond in a like for like manner which can escalate matters.

That is not how to text an ex Girlfriend after no contact.

It should be a positive rather than negative response.


Reacting well to a bad response can go some way to changing her perception of you.

If you do get the bad reaction, apologise for causing or bringing up those feelings with her.

But not in a way that is like “I’m sorry that you feel that way”.

Because that is not accepting your responsibility in the cause.

And then back off  as she may need more time to process anger from the breakup.


With time she may come around to see her harsh response for what it is.

And may come to change her mind about it.

In the long run this will show maturity on your part in coping with that kind of attitude.

It can show you as a bigger person.

It will turn that negative response into a positive on your part.



Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site

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