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How to text an ex boyfriend after no contact : 6 Tips
After a breakup there is usually a reaction.
That is prompted by instincts of neediness, desperation or immaturity.
And those reactions have no place in how to text an ex boyfriend after no contact.
It’s essential to get over them and get time to think.
To think about how to text an ex boyfriend after no contact .
It is hard at first.
But you managed to do it without contacting your ex.
In that time you should have taken steps to improve yourself and become a better you.
Calm, cool, confident and collected you should feel that you are in complete control of yourself.
And your reactions.
Now you are wondering what you should do after no contact.
Because you still want your ex back and you don’t want to lose him.
Your cell phone can be the means to your reconciliation.
In the beginning at least, it can sometimes be your greatest enemy doing more harm than good.
The temptations to try and contact them can be overwhelming at times.
In fact, in those first few weeks after the breakup.
Trying to think of what and how to text an ex boyfriend after no contact.
And to get him back should be the last thing on your mind.
The focus should be on yourself and the work needed for you to be the best version of you.
Now that you have done that work and the no contact period you are ready.
Ready to move on to the the matter in hand.
How to text an ex boyfriend after no contact
Text messaging is one of the best ways to open the lines of communication with your ex boyfriend again.
Why? Well, for one, text messaging is a very non-invasive form of communication.
Your ex boyfriend won’t feel the pressure to respond to you right away.
And it allows him time to think of an appropriate response.
Second, and more importantly, since he’ll probably reply to you via text message.
It also allows you time to think of a good and appropriate response.
And finally, texting your ex boyfriend won’t make him think that you still love him.
Where as phone calls can be through no fault of our own badly timed.
Even if you have a perfect script things can go wrong.
So texting is a very nonchalant form of communication.
One that doesn’t reek of desperation when the script is meticulously prepared in advance.
And that is exactly the thing we’re going to tackle today.
Broken down into the following 6 tips
1 Plan and brainstorm
To get the ideas to catch his interest.
Without seeming like you are getting him to respond.
It should seem like it was his choice to engage in conversation with you
2 Manage your expectations and anxiety
This is where you deal with the expectations that come with a plan like this.
And the anxiety that is also a part of it.
Expectations can be a dead giveaway.
If you go into a situation and they are not met you will broadcast disappointment.
So it is best to check your expectations.
3 Prime your ex before you even reach out
In sales priming is the act of warming a customer up to buy before you even tell them about the product.
So, any type of action or act that will make a potential lead sit up and go,“I really want to buy that.”
In this context it works just as well.
4 Make your first text about curiosity or peak their interests.
Engage them in a small conversation to hook them you could also tap their field of expertise.
It is about creating that interesting lure that will make him want to engage in conversation with you.
5 Leave them wanting more
This is about leaving conversations at a high point and not on a lull.
It could be that you say you have something to do. Or before the conversation starts to fade into “uncomfortable silences”. It creates a sense of unfinished business or leaves them wanting to continue the talk at a later point.
It sets up the impetus to encourage your ex to contact you.
6 Send the text Let go and relax
Once you have done this it is just a matter of time.
So kick back and prepare to be amazing.
One other point is, fear kills relationships.
And if it’s something that destroys relationships.
It’s certainly not something that will help in how to text an ex boyfriend after no contact.
This is why you must adopt the mindset that you will find love.
People who have an abundance mindset believe there is unlimited love and happiness in the world.
They are not afraid that they will run out of love or happiness.
Because they know that there is someone for them.
There are others waiting just out of sight.
This attitude feeds into the calmness and cools your anxiety.
It lessens the fear of losing and feeds your self confidence.
Have Self confidence
Being confident in yourself is one of the most attractive traits anyone can have.
Think about it for a moment.
Your ex is definitely attracted to you physically.
If they weren’t, they would never have had a relationship with you in the first place.
But a lot of people lose their confidence during the course of a relationship.
They start displaying lack of confidence through insecurity, neediness or desperation.
If your ex lost attraction to you during the course of your relationship, there’s a good chance it was due to lack of confidence.
Subtlety is Key in How to text an ex boyfriend after no contact
Your ex boyfriend is undoubtedly going to be wondering what your motivation for texting is.
You don’t want to clue him into that just yet though.
Avoid being too forward at this point.
Don’t ask him to get together or inquire about his current dating status.
That is not how to text an ex boyfriend after no contact.
You want to keep your former flame guessing here.
Give Him an Opening
You don’t want to make it seem like you are goading him into a conversation.
You could ask for his help in his field of expertise.
Or make a statement about something that reminded him to you.
Like a film or a book he liked a place or a situation you both may have been in.
But once he responds, you can encourage a conversation with a few questions in the texts that follow.
Consider asking him about his job.
Or something else you may have shared in the past and are hoping for an update on.
Nostalgia is an extremely powerful emotion and a powerful weapon in helping to achieving your goals.
You know how when a song comes on that reminds you of the past.
It can make a ball of emotion well up in your throat?
Well, think of the nostalgia text in that context.
You evoke powerful emotions in him that remind him of the best parts of the relationship and your past together.
So reminding him of those highlights of your time together is a powerful way to make him miss you.
It can prompt him to think about the good times you spent together.
The best type of text to use in this case is something very specific between the two of you.
Something unique and individual that only you guys would understand.
It creates a sense of unity and shared understanding, highlighting the bond you once had.
How to text an ex boyfriend after no contact : The texts
Everyone sends texts, we can fire them off at an astounding rate.
We can when we do that, make mistakes say the wrong thing or even send the wrong message.
This is something you want to avoid at all costs.
So you can’t just fire off the first thing that comes into your head.
It will take some careful thought and preparation.
That’s precisely how you should think of the text you are about to send to your ex.
First you should draft a text fleshing out your ideas that will peak his interest and appeal to him.
Then you reread the text to edit it.
Looking for mistakes or things that could be misunderstood.
Remember Keep It Straight and Simple. (K.I.S.S.)
When you have done with the Editing of the text.
Proofread the text again just to be sure to be sure.
Then when you are sure send the text.
From what I’ve seen, the “first draft” of a text is typically not the message you want to send out to your ex.
More often it’s loquacious or wordy and can end up asking too many questions which is overwhelming.
Keep It Straight and Simple. (K.I.S.S.)
What is he interested in?
It can be anything, such as cars, sports, books, art, music computers.
Alright, let’s say your ex is a computer wizard.
Now, let’s take what we know another step further.
This type of text can request information or tap their field of expertise.
Men want to fix problems to be helpful and to be useful.
Tap into that.
How to text an ex boyfriend after no contact examples
Let’s say you are thinking of buying a printer or a new laptop.
You could ask for his help to suggest the best product to buy.
Something like this…
« Hi I hope you are well.
I was just in looking to buy a printer which should I buy ? You know about these things any advice ? »
The other advantage of this is that you are approaching and engaging him in a calm, non-threatening manner.
You are asking for his help in his field of expertise.
Another could be like this.
“I’m just at that bike store downtown and that brand new red road bike you wanted is on sale. Just thought I’d let you know! Hope you’re doing okay.”
Again, this text message is thoughtful and it provides genuine value for your ex boyfriend.
After all, if a handbag you wanted was on sale, wouldn’t you want to know about it?
This is just a really good way to break the ice and get a conversation with your ex boyfriend going again.
“Hey! Hope all is well. Just wondering if you remember the name of that really cool tea shop downtown. I just wanna take a friend there.”
Why is this text message good?
Well, for several reasons.
First, it doesn’t bring up anything negative or dramatic.
Second, you’re texting him for a very good reason requesting information.
You’re not texting him just to say “Hello” or “What up?”,
You’re texting him because you need something from him.
But it doesn’t come across as needy or desperate.
It has a valid excuse for contact.
Secondly, you could be indirectly suggesting that you are taking a date there.
This may incite a bit of jealousy, especially if you and he shared a special moment there.
A lot of people say trying to make your ex jealous is an effective strategy.
It can be, but it is also a bit of a gamble and dangerous one.
In certain situations with certain people, it can be very effective.
In other situations, though, it can lead to a complete disaster.
It really depends on you and what you know about your ex so use it with caution.
How to text an ex boyfriend after no contact : High point cutoff
After all that, you do not want to be the last to text.
Text messages that get your ex back are the ones that open other routes to communication.
How to text an ex boyfriend after no contact does not focus on closing the deal.
So look for an opportunity to duck out of the conversation.
No warning or official goodbye, just silence on your end.
Now, you want to be careful with this.
If he asks you a direct question, you obviously should respond.
But the second he texts something that could go by without a reply on your end.
Let the conversation end.
I know this goes against your instincts.
You are finally talking to him and you want to keep the conversation to continue.
But you can’t.
Not if you want to keep him guessing and wondering what you may be thinking.
You have to let the conversation end, and you have to let him be the last one to text.
Remember it is about creating unfinished business and the lure for him to initiate contact.
That is how to text an ex boyfriend after no contact good luck!
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com