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How to make your ex love you again: 5 tips
Your relationship has ended before its time and you still love your ex. You don’t want your relationship to be over and all you want is to get them back, to be with them again. Your ex says they don’t love you anymore, but how is this possible when you know that your relationship was right? How can you make your ex see that the two of you should be together? Here are five tips for how to make your ex love you again so that you can get them back.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
As much as you love and miss them, and as much as you want to know how to make your ex love you again, you should wait a little while. Take a little while after the breakup to give yourself and your ex the time and space from each other that you need to catch your breath, and despite what you may think, you really need to take this time before rushing head long into an attempt to prove to your ex how much you love them and trying to get them back. You’ll find that just giving your ex some breathing room will be enough to make them miss you and make them realize how much they loved having you in their life.
Use the time that you take away from your ex to recover from the breakup and all the emotions that came with it. Scream, cry, throw things… do whatever you need to do to let these emotions out. If you have a lot of anger over the breakup or towards your ex then a punching bag is great outlet for your frustration. It’s important that you purge yourself of these emotions now before you try to show your ex you still love them; if you carry these emotions with you into your relationship when you and your ex get back together, they will stay with you, wait for their opportunity to surge forward and ruin your relationship.
Spend this time reflecting on your relationship, thinking about everything that went wrong or that you could have done better. Identify where the problems lay in your relationship with your ex so that they can’t affect you in your future relationship. If you don’t know what your mistakes were before, then you’re likely to repeat them in the future. Consider the relationship you shared and where it went wrong; this is how to make your ex love you again by identifying the things that you should avoid.
Focus on you
During this timeout from your ex, try not to think about them; instead, focus on yourself. Do the things that you enjoy and spend time with the people you love; anything you can think of that will cheer you up and make you happy during this difficult time. Focus on yourself physically and mentally. Get back to the gym or take up a new sport; physical exercise exhausts you and gives you a sense of achievement no matter how little you do. Work on mindfulness and adopting a more positive attitude so that when you make your ex love you again, they will see that you are a better and more evolved person.
Be the person they fell in love with
Obviously if you first met your ex ten years ago it’s impossible to be the person they first fell in love with. People change and develop, that’s just a part of life. However, you can be more like the person that first caught their attention. Try to let go of your worries a little, be more carefree, and therefore more attractive in your ex’s eyes; this is how to make your ex love you again.
Flirt with your ex the way that you did when you were just getting to know one another. Let them catch you stealing glances, wink at them or touch their arm conspiratorially when you meet up, send them flirty text messages, and when you’re talking, lean towards your ex and be very attentive. Your ex will appreciate that you’re hanging on to every word they say.
Before you even think about seeing your ex again, get yourself down to the local hairdressers or salon and try out a new look. Try out a new hairstyle or colour and maybe try wearing a little more makeup than usual. Buy some new clothes that fit you perfectly and really suit you. You’re reinventing yourself, and in doing so, your ex’s attraction to you is going to be renewed and they’re going to think about when you first met.
Be a little unattainable
People are attracted most to the things that seem out of reach, so when you meet up with your ex for the first time after taking some time and space away from them, play a little coy and hard to get. Be friendly, but a little aloof. If your ex thinks you want them, they’re not going to want you. But if it seems like you don’t want them, they’re going to want you more than anything; this is part of how to make your ex love you again.
It’s important when trying to get your ex back to remind them of why you were so good together, why your relationship was great and why you loved each other so much if you want to persuade them to take you back.
Talk about the good times
Remind your ex of all the good times you spent together, all the happy memories and experiences you shared. Bring them up casually in conversation or when you see something that reminds you of one of these times. Talking about these memories will make your ex a little nostalgic and make them look back on your relationship fondly, and think that maybe they would like to have that with you again.
You can also use technology to remind your ex of why you were together as a couple and how much you loved one another. Once in a while, not every day or more than once in the same day, send your ex a silly or sweet text. If you see something that reminds you of one of the experiences you and your ex shared together, text them and tell them about it, or even if you hear a good joke in your office, text them the joke and say, ‘just thought this would make you laugh’.
Give your ex small gifts to remind them how well you know them. Don’t spend lots of money on jewellery or expensive impersonal gifts; buy little things like a book you know your ex will love or their favourite chocolate when you see it at the market. These little things will remind your ex that you know them better than anybody and will remind them of just how much time you spent together and how great that time was. It’s a sure step in how to make your ex love you again.
Things to avoid in how to make your ex love you again
If you want to make your ex fall in love with you again, there are certain things that you should avoid doing, as they impressions they give could be extremely detrimental to your efforts.
Making your ex jealous
As subtle as you think you’re being, if you’re trying to make your ex jealous your attempts are probably incredibly transparent. You know your ex hangs out with their friends in this bar on a Saturday night and yet of all the bars in the city you pick this one to bring your date to; it’s fairly obvious what you’re trying to do and no one is falling for it. Forcing your ex to see you with someone else can backfire very easily, and if you’re clearly trying to make your ex jealous then this gives your ex the impression that you’re pathetic and desperate, resorting to parading your date under their nose just to get a reaction.
People are attracted to people who exude life, who are enthusiastic and positive. If you want to make your ex fall in love with you again, being miserable will not help your case; in fact, it will send them running in the other direction. Avoid things like screaming and crying in front of your ex. The breakup hurt and it’s okay to do these things when you’re alone or with a friend, but don’t let your ex see you like this if you want to have any hope of getting them back. Similarly, avoid pleading with your ex to come back. Pleading makes you look pathetic, and if you want your ex to love you, you should attempt to have a bright and positive attitude; it will be much more attractive.
Saying I love you
Saying I love you is not how to make your ex love you again; it will achieve nothing. Telling your ex that you still love them will have the opposite effect. It will put pressure on your ex that they’re not ready for, even if they’ve already decided to give you another chance. Avoid saying “I love you” to your ex while you’re still broken up and for as long as you think it will take your ex to say it back. Telling your how you feel won’t influence the way they feel, so simply avoid it for now.
Show your ex you’d like to give your relationship another go
When you’re ready and you think your ex may be ready to talk about it, you can make your interest clear to your ex and show them that you would like to get back together and give your relationship another go.
Express how you feel
There are a lot of other ways of saying “I love you” without actually using those three words. When you see your ex, try saying things like “you’ve just made my day” or wait until you get home and text them “It was great seeing you today. I had the best time, can’t wait to do it again x”. These things will make it clear to your ex that you still have feelings for them and that you would be interested in getting back together, without putting the kind of pressure on them that you would by saying “I love you”. Avoid pressuring your ex into anything; be open and listen to what they want; this is how to make your ex love you again. When they say they love you again, it has to be because they are ready to say it and ready to get back together, not out of guilt or because they don’t want to hurt you.
Use the conditional tense
A great way of making your intentions clear to your ex is by talking about your relationship in the conditional tense. By saying things like “If we were still a couple…” you’re showing your ex that you’re thinking about that, that you’ve considered getting back together and are open to the idea, while putting all the eggs in their basket. You have casually suggested it, but also made it clear that the decision lies with them.
Bring it up
You can hope that your ex will tell you they love you or suggest getting back together again after you’ve casually hinted, but there is no guarantee. You may have to bring it up in conversation; just be brutally honest (without using the words “I love you”) and tell your ex that you still have feelings for them and you’d like to consider getting back together. After this, it is up to your ex to decide how they feel. If they want to get back together, great! If they tell you they still love you, great! If not, there’s not much you can do but accept it and move on. You cannot force your ex to love you; you can only do these steps of how to make your ex love you again to encourage them to feel that way and remind them that you could be great together.Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com