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How to get your girlfriend back with our tips
So you are single now but want your Ex back. You want to know how to get your girlfriend back ?
Well it may seem right now that it’s the end of the world or at least for you it is. Your world maybe in chaos, lacking the will to live, though that is the normal reaction to a break up it is not going to help you with how to get your girlfriend back.
You need get over it or at least have the appearances of doing so and rise above the apparent rubble of your life. It has happened you have broken up now deal with it. If you can’t deal with it you should ask yourself if you are really ready and willing to put the time and effort into getting your girlfriend back.
If you want to get her back and you want to know how to get your girlfriend back. There are things you are going to have to do and they cant be done from under a duvet or from the couch…
First things first ..
1 The break up
It happened, you broke up. Obviously, but that is not how you want it to go or end, you want to know how to get your girlfriend back. There are some things you will have to really know and really understand before you consider attempting to start the relationship again.
A Understanding before knowing how to get your girlfriend back
This may seem obvious but it bares repeating and believe me, there is always a lot more to understand. Only you know the answers as to what went wrong. As you may know relationships can end on misunderstandings. This will take time and some amount of honest soul searching. If this area is not completely and comprehensively reviewed, chances are you will fall into repeating history. It could be the same arguments the same problems and even possibly the same ending.
- Understand the reasons why you broke up, their causes and how to go about fixing them . Most relationship troubles do not pop up unexpectedly, but grow up over time.She might have felt you didn’t give her enough affection and comfort. Taking your partner for granted is one of the most common reasons in relationship break ups. If you can’t figure out why, maybe you need to ask her.
- Understand that communication problems are usually the number one cause of breakups. When trying to get your girlfriend back you need to work extra hard as a couple. This, to ensure that you always keep lines of communication open. When you get back together, you need to take time to discuss expectations, especially in areas that were problems before.
- Recall who initiated the breakup ?
- What did each of you do to contribute to the breakup ?
- Interpret the emotions honestly.
- Know what pushes her away and make sure you don’t repeat them.
B Critical reassessment
- Take responsibility for your mistakes. Own them and make amends with yourself and your Ex, when the opportunity arises. This shows the ability to change be honest and responsible for your actions.
- Make sure you don’t repeat the mistakes. Things may have bothered her about your relationship. There’s a good chance she has already told you about this behaviour ! Make a list and start to change them
- Re-evaluation of yourself and your expectations were they real or not.
- Recognise the five stages of grief in relationship break ups are Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance. Denial Anger Bargaining are common pitfalls and not part of how to get your girlfriend back well they are here but it’s a don’t .
- You must pick yourself up and realize that there is much more to life than relationships and the breakup and you. They are not the sum of you as a person you are more than that.
C Moving on and up
- Moving on is not something you want to do when you want your ex back. But it is something you have to do and be seen to be doing.
- Be mature about how you handle the breakup
- Your friends and family can be a very effective aid to healing. Spend time with them and you will notice how they care about you and love you. Your will feel calmer and realise that you are not alone in this world, you are loved, and you can and will survive even if you have lost your ex.
- Take your time and have no contact time No calling no texting no contact online (Facebook Messages, Email, Gchat, Twitter, IM). No spending time with friends in common to run Into her.No running into her by a premeditated ,scheduled or organised accident.
- Be positive this is a hard one to maintain, but a positive mental attitude goes a long way in any recovery. Check and omit the negative commiserating most of us use for 30-40% of all conversation . If you don’t think it is that way, keep track of how many people start conversations with you in the next 24 hours that center on a complaint or criticism.
- Have fun, like having a positive mental attitude it is not easy to be in a highly emotional state and maintain one but it definitely helps to take the mind off the break up .
- Exercise is a helpful and healthy method of changing the quality or tone of your thoughts. Physical exercise improves not only your physical well-being, but also, and more importantly, your mental well-being. It promotes better sleep, helps with negative thoughts, and anxiety which you may struggle with.
2 The aftermath
The Aftermath is the post relationship how to guide to survival, even when you know you want her back but dont know how to get your girlfriend back . It is what you have do to maintain sanity and the appearance of normality. This means you don’t fall off the edge of the earth or look for a hole to crawl into.
Do the things that build up your self esteem and show a functioning active person, go to the gym, take a new class, keep doing what you would normally do and some more things as well. Something new and that shows development rather than stagnation. Hang out with non mutual friends or make new ones, family and people that lift your spirits up with positivity, not those who bring you down and want to delve into the gory details of your breakup and give you their unsolicited advice. Show the picture of someone who is living the life not forsaking it.
The absence allows time for your ex to heal from the breakup and calm down about her feelings for you. More importantly, though, is that this time allows time for your ex to become lonely and miss you.
3 The planned reunion
You will need a plan of action don’t doubt it. There are no sure fire, hard and fast rules in how to get your girlfriend back but there are some common pitfalls to avoid.This plan will help in the recovery of your self esteem and the relationship. This includes the obligatory no contact period no question, your renaissance or the rebuilding and renewal of your persona. Plus the real in depth understanding of where, what and why it went wrong. Again, take your time, don’t expect or plan for a reunion on the first meeting, be patient and patience is the key to being resilient..“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it is how we behave while we’re waiting” – Joyce Meyer.
Be subtle, don’t go with your heart on your sleeve it may seem romantic, but that kind of obviousness can look needy. Be positive, negativity breeds negativity. Don’t harp on about the faults or the times that things went wrong, it is just not an attractive quality, it is just not a quality at all.If you really want to get your girlfriend back, you can’t live in the past though you think you might want to. You need to be focused on starting fresh and recreate attraction, which is impossible when you are living in your past relationship.
Don’t be too serious !
Overall be fun, have fun. Go in being funny and charismatic. Having a good sense of humor is key to getting your girlfriend back. You want to make her feel good being around you. And making her laugh is a great way to do so. Show a love of life that you could both share in but not specifically and strictly aimed at a reunion that is a little too obvious and needy at this point.
4 The execution
Tips for how to get your girlfriend back
- Needless to say but I’ll say it anyway, Neediness is something that will ruin any chances of reunion so it is absolutely a definitive no-no.
- Desperation is just another way to induce vomiting in your ex or at the very least it is not going to help you win her heart.
- Insecurity is never good looking or helpful to your cause so don’t indulge in it.
- This links in with the first three, after the break up take time and stop all contact with your Ex. It seems counterproductive but necessary. If you and your ex are still speaking to each other regularly text her the following or something similar. “Hey, I don’t want mean to be rude or anything, but I need some time and space to get over the breakup. This is why I think I think we shouldn’t speak to or see each other for a while. I hope you understand.Take care.”
- Decide how long you need to have no contact . Mark your calendar and do your time. It may feel like prison and or torture until the day you can contact your ex girlfriend but it is necessary probably obligatory.
- During no contact time this is not down time its up time. Time to work on your abs, time to grow as a person join a club, perhaps a new hobby, just not stamp collecting. You may not be ready to hear this, let alone do it in your situation, but you need to consider dating to see who else and what else is out there. I’m not saying that you should give up trying or going about how to get your girlfriend back, but in being open to date new women is a very positive sign. Some people would say you must date other people in order to show you are capable of moving on. This is entirely up to you and what is the harm? You might have fun besides your Ex may think about it too.
- It is time to show new positive changes and development in your life, the Ex-tra wow factor .When the time is right to make contact with your Ex, do it with the right message and words, not a whiff of neediness, desperation or insecurity if there is it will mean the end of any possibilities of a reconciliation.
- When you have decided the time is right to meet your Ex, make sure to build on the attraction that is already there remind her why she went out with you in the first place. Make new connections with her and rekindle the old ones.
- Recall those days when you started dating and both of you used to be attracted to each other. What did she see in you?
- A good place to start is by dressing well and remembering by nature, the human eye is attracted to good looking things. Do not over dress as your Ex will think that you are doing it for her, you are but she doesn’t need to know that right now. Dress modestly but well. Your Ex will start seeing a new you and it will also make you feel good and confident.
- Treat your partner with respect, even if you’re angry.
- Acknowledge what your partner is feeling. If your partner says something that you agree with, you should mention that.
- Don’t interrupt and avoid talking over your partner. If your partner has a lot to say about a topic, you should let them talk.
- Schedule these discussions so that you can talk things over at the right time and place . Put a time limit on discussions so that they don’t drag on all night.
- Focus as much on your masculine and confident body language as what you want to tell her. Remember – 38% women judge men on how they speak and only 7% care about what they say!
- Establish and maintain trust this is important for a new and old relationship alike.If you make promises make sure you can keep them, this is a must. Belief and trust are essential to a good relationship breaking them can be catastrophic in situations such as these.
- If you want to get your girlfriend back make sure you know and can articulate the reasons why. This also means further down the line your new relationship with your ex girlfriend is going to go to that next level, so be sure that’s what you really want.
5 The results on how to get your girlfriend back
Casually hang out with her, but not casually hang out of, or on to your Ex when your out, remember be subtle be positive and overall have fun.
When you meet up, you can find out if they are still interested. Do they wear the clothes you commented on liking or the piece of jewellery you bought her.
If this is the case that you see these or other signs, then after you have taken some time together as friends, ask your ex to talk with you.
Use your past to your advantage. She dated you for a reason capitalise on these and bring new reasons to the table. Make sure to still keep it light, flirty, and fun, the goal here is to show her the guy she fell in love with, not the guy she broke up with.
After several casual meet-ups, if you still feel that you want to get back together, you can tell her what you’ve learned from your weeks apart.
Be prepared with the kind of and kind words avoid unkind ones, you will use and what you want to say in this talk. If you only talk about the breakup, it will be like you two are looking for closure. Instead, focus on topics like what has really changed in both of your lives after the breakup. Rehash the good times and the great memories. The things that you say to your ex are extremely important especially as you want to get your girlfriend back in your life. Tell her what you’ve realised about why you broke up, and say you’re working on things because of it. You want to show her you’ve grown and have really heard what she’s said. Make sure you can communicate your feelings well. If you’ve done your homework and planned correctly, you should be full of confidence and attractiveness.
But remember there is a good chance your ex will say or do things to try and trip you up. Remember one five stages of grief is anger and it may be unresolved. They will try to see if what you truly have really changed or everything you have been saying and doing is just a charade to win them back.
They might bring up something from the past. Or they may say something that will provoke a reaction something they know will push your buttons, you have to expect this. They might casually bring up the fact that they went on a date just to see how you react or bring up the subject of an old argument. You must be calm and regardless how you feel about it, act nonchalant.
Know how to apologize
If necessary or appropriate make a real and thoughtful apology for your mistakes . Think deeply about anything you did or didn’t do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology, or even forgiveness, for that matter. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, remember you can only apologize for yourself. Leave your partner’s mistakes out of it. It doesn’t matter who is at fault it is in the past. Constantly reminding each other of your past mistakes is totally pointless and aggravating . If she deserves your love, then she also deserves your forgiveness. Odds are if you make the first apology it will be reciprocated.
Avoid using « but. » « I am sorry, but… » means « I am not sorry ». Likewise do not say « I’m sorry you feel that way » or « I’m sorry if you were offended ». This makes it seem like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology. Don’t use absolutes like “always” or “never”. They only exist in fairy tales and in reality are usually wrong.
A real apology should follow this structure : regret, responsibility and remedy. The first part shows that you are genuinely sorry for what you’ve done. Then, the second part takes the responsibility on you solely without excuses or blaming someone else. The final part offers to make it right or change your behavior in the future. For example: « I just wanted to say sorry for the times I blew you off, that you wanted to spend with me. You must’ve felt really neglected. I’m going to try really hard from now on, to make a greater effort to do more things with you so you won’t feel like that again. I’m glad you gave me your point of view to realize that. »
A new relationship
Treat your relationship like a new one. It is to all intents and purposes and if you dont treat it accordingly it may go the same way as the previous one.
You want to be sure that getting your girlfriend back together lasts longer than it did the previous time. So show her that you’re willing and able to be a better you by changing the things that you said you would and that may have caused issues before. This time around, you need a lot of good communication and lot of a patience. If you have these things and continue to work on them, this time the relationship will be better and hopefully last.
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com