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How to get him back: 6 tips to win him over again


get him backHow to get him back ? When you and your partner have broken up, perhaps after a sudden nasty argument or disagreement, it can be very difficult to win him over again and get him back.  You know the argument was just an argument and you didn’t mean for it to lead to a break up.  You’re certain that he is the only man for you and positive that he still cares about you, but he’s stubborn, so how can you make him see that the two of you should be together?  How can you make him realize that you didn’t mean the things you said and the two of you should never have broken up?  How can you make him understand that you love him and want him back?  How do you win him over again?  No matter how angry or stubborn your man is, these 6 tips will show you how to win him over again.  Follow these tips and he won’t be able to resist you.  You’ll be back together in no time.

Why do you want to know how to get him back?

Thinking about why you want to get back together with your ex calls into question what happened and how the relationship ended.  Perhaps one of you walked away in the heat of an argument, slamming the door behind you.  Maybe one of you screamed, “It’s over!” and then regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, because you couldn’t take them back.  You need to seriously consider if getting him back is the right option.  If your relationship fell apart all of a sudden or in the heat of the fight and you don’t think either of you really intended for the relationship to end, you may have a good chance of winning him over again.  After all, he’s probably feeling the exact same way as you are right now.  However, if this was one of many, many arguments, then perhaps you should reconsider attempting to get your ex back.  If you and your partner argued constantly or always came back to the same circular argument, it may be best to avoid attempting reconciliation and trying to move on with your life. This relationship obviously had some rather deep-rooted problems and while you may love your partner, the relationship could be toxic for you.  You need to seriously consider why you want to find out how to get him back and if this is truly the best course of action.

When you shouldn’t get him back

There are some scenarios where you really shouldn’t try to get your ex back no matter how much you miss him.  For example, if the relationship had turned verbally, physically or emotionally abusive.  Sometimes it’s difficult to recognize the signs at first, and after that it may become even more difficult to leave, but nobody deserves to be treated this way, so take this break up as a blessing and don’t attempt to understand how to get him back.  If your ex ever put you down or made you feel like you weren’t good enough; like you were too fat or not pretty enough, this is not the kind of relationship you want to get back.  If your ex partner cheated on you or lied to you about something big, you need to seriously reconsider why you want him back.  Cheating is the most hurtful betrayal that can happen in a relationship and it severely damages the trust; are you really ever going to be able to trust your partner again?  Moreover, studies have shown that a person who has cheated in one relationship is three times more likely to cheat in their next relationship.  If you try to win him over again and succeed, can you really be certain that he’ll be faithful this time?  Especially considering you have taken him back after his first mishap; in other words, he got away with it.  It’s up to you whether or not you want to give him another chance, but keep that old expression in mind: Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.

  1. Give him space

Calm down

Giving your ex some space is particularly important after a very heated argument and intense break up, but no matter the circumstances of your break up, your ex needs some time and space to calm down and consider your relationship, and so do you.  You and your ex will never get back together while you’re both still furious with one another, so taking some time apart from one another will allow you to trivialize the argument in your head and better understand the issues in your relationship.  After some time, you will be much less focused on proving that you were right, and much more focused on the fact that you miss your ex and want to know how to get him back.

Miss him

While you’re missing your man, you’re also giving your man the time and space to miss you too.  He’s not going to miss you if you’re showing up at his work trying to apologize, or calling and texting him constantly to try to persuade him to talk to you.  You need to give him some space so that he wonders where you are and what you’re doing.  He’ll start to think that maybe he should call you and apologize… maybe he even does, but more likely he’s stubborn and is waiting for you to call him.  The main thing is that now he has cooled off from the argument and is regretting what happened and missing you.

Call him

After you’ve given your ex a few days to calm down, reconsider the break up and miss you, you need to initiate contact again. It’s up to you how you want to do this.  Perhaps you would prefer to speak to your partner face to face, but it’s important that you do this on neutral territory, so it would be best to call him first to arrange a meeting.  Talk to him calmly on the phone; try not to raise your voice or give in to emotion; and arrange to meet up in a park or café to talk.  If you don’t trust yourself not to burst into tears at the sound of your ex’s voice or you feel more comfortable with it, you could also do this by text.

  1. Apologize

Apologize once

win him backWhen you meet up with your ex in the park or café or wherever, you should try to act casual and friendly. Don’t burst into tears and start pleading with him to take you back.  Prepare what you want to say to your ex before you meet him; be clear on what you’re going to say because you’re only going to say it once.  You’re going to apologize for your part in the argument or failure of the relationship; whatever it was that led you to this point.  Apologize for the break up only once.  You won’t achieve different results by repeating over and over how sorry you are.  Tell your ex that you didn’t mean for the split and that you’re sorry; that should be enough.  If your ex knows you as well as he should, he’ll know that you genuinely mean it and hopefully apologize for his part in any argument or the break up.

Forgive

It’s important that you forgive your partner for any wrongs he committed during the relationship or the break up, especially if he apologizes for them.  You need to be able to forgive him and leave it behind you, and he needs to forgive you for your part in the break up or failure of the relationship.  If the two of you continue without fully forgiving one another and you succeed at winning him back, your future relationship doesn’t have much chance of success if one of you or both of you are still harboring some animosity for the way you were treated or dumped by the other.  You need to leave it all in the past in the interest of moving on.  You need to fully forgive and be completely forgiven if you want to see how to get him back.

Move past it

After you have apologized for the break up and forgiven one another, you should move on and talk to your ex as if nothing ever happened.  Perhaps this discussion was enough to fix your relationship if your ex didn’t mean for the break up either, and if that is the case he will tell you so.  But if not, you shouldn’t rush things.  Try to get back to a normal casual conversation.  Ask what’s new in his life, or about his friends and family.  Don’t revisit the break up and don’t mention the relationship if it isn’t clear how he feels about it.  It’s like fishing; you have to reel him in slowly.  So start off with a friendly conversation.  Keep it light. Act as if the two of you are old friends just catching up after you haven’t seen each other in a while.  After you’ve had a few more casual meetings you can start to think about telling him that you want to get back together.

  1. Be irresistible

Look good

Part of winning your ex back is making yourself irresistible to him and an important part of how you do this is through your appearance.  He fell for you once, and by changing it up just a little bit you can make him fall for you again.  Perhaps as you settled into the relationship and got more comfortable with him, you stopped wearing makeup or started wearing clothes that were less attractive and more comfortable, well now you’re going to turn that around.  You’re going to remind him why he found you so sexy and irresistible.  Get a fresh haircut; try out a new style if you’re feeling adventurous, start wearing make up again and invest in some new stylish and well-fitted clothes.  Wear heels if you think you can pull them off; they’ll make your legs look like they go on forever and he won’t be able to look away.  Making yourself more attractive to him means also making yourself more attractive to other men and maybe you’ll get lucky and your ex will catch some other man looking at you appreciatively.  Spark his interest and maybe even a little jealousy to win him over again.  Even if you’re not meeting with him, try posting attractive pictures of yourself on social media to show him what he’s missing.

Be unattainable

People always want what they can’t have, that’s all part and parcel of human nature, but you can use it to your advantage.  Don’t be afraid to be a little unattainable.  When you first start meeting up with your ex, don’t make it clear that you’re interested in him romantically or that you want to get back together.  If he isn’t sure that you want him, it will make him think about you more, and consequently make him want you more.  Play a little hard to get in the beginning.  It adds an air of mystery and everyone is attracted to mystery.  Be careful not to appear conceited or superior, this will have the opposite effect, but being a little unattainable will only make him more attracted to you.

  1. How to get him back with flirt

You’ve given him his space and been a little distant but now it’s time to show him that you’re interested.  It’s possible that you’ve been in a relationship so long that you’ve forgotten how to flirt with him, but you’ll pick it up in no time, and he won’t know what hit him.

Use your body language

Use your body language to flirt with him. Smile at him a lot and make eye contact; let him catch you looking and lower your lashes as if embarrassed that you’ve been caught staring.  Lean towards him when he’s speaking to you and concentrate on everything he says. Touch him when you can; a supportive hand on his shoulder, a teasing elbow dig, a hug in welcome or a kiss on the cheek goodbye.  Actions like these will make it clear to him that you’re interested in getting back together.

Appeal to his senses

You can flirt with him and pique his interest by wearing his favourite colours or his favourite scents.  Perhaps you know that he always thought you looked sexy in red or that his favourite smell was freshly cut grass.  Appeal to his senses by wearing colours and scents that you know he likes.

Pay him compliments

Who doesn’t like hearing things like “you look really good today”, “did you do something with your hair?  I really like it!” or “Is that a new shirt?  It suits you”.  Everybody loves to be complimented; it makes us feel attractive and appreciated; so use compliments to reel him in and win him back.  Telling him you like his new shirt will make him feel good and show that you are clearly interested in getting back together (especially if you know that his shirt isn’t new at all, in fact you bought it for him years ago).

Send flirty messages

win him overDon’t be afraid to send some flirty text messages to your ex.  Talk about your last meeting saying things like “I had a great time with you, I always have a great time with you ».  These will show that you’re wistful for the relationship and thinking about your ex.  Be brave and let him know you’re thinking about him with flirty texts like “I can’t sleep. I blame you” and, if you’re comfortable with it, don’t be afraid to get a little naughty and appeal to other parts of him.  With these messages, you’re making it clear that you want to find out how to get him back.

5. Do things he likes

Invite your ex to do things that you know he loves.  For example, if he loves the Grand Prix, buy a couple of tickets to a race and ask him if he wants to go with you; you know he won’t say no.  If he’s a huge fan of the X factor or strictly come dancing, buy tickets and invite him along.  You don’t have to confess that you bought the tickets especially for him; you can tell him you won them or a friend couldn’t go and gave them to you; it’ll be a funny story to confess in a few weeks time when you’re back together.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money either.  If your ex likes paint-balling, or kayaking, or even if the new James Bond film is out in the cinema, any of these things would serve.

There are a number of ulterior motives for inviting your ex to do something you know he enjoys; it’s not just about having the opportunity to spend time with him.  Firstly, you’ll be showing him how well you know him, which will remind him of all the time that you spent together and how much he loved being with you.  You know his likes and dislikes; it’s possible that you know him better than anyone else, and he will recognise this.  Secondly, it shows that the two of you have the same interests and makes him remember how much the two of you have in common; or even if you’re not particularly interested in the event or activity you’re doing with him, it shows that you make an effort to take an interest in his hobbies and will do things you maybe don’t like to spend time with him.  It will make him appreciate you all the more.  Finally and most importantly, if you take him to do something that he loves, he will start to associate you with that thing in his head; so anytime he’s thinking about cars or James Bond or paint-balling, he’s thinking about you too.  You create an association in his mind with the things he loves and yourself, and soon he’ll see that he loves you as much as he loves any of these things.

6. Get back together or move on

How to get him back

If all these tips have worked well and you think your ex is interested in getting back together, either bring it up in conversation and talk about it with him, or make a move.  There’s a common misconception that we should wait for men to make the first move, but it’s the twenty-first century ladies!  Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and take the first step to getting your man.  The truth is that men can be just as shy and nervous to make the first move as women, so if he seems interested, don’t wait around for him to make the first move, take matters into your own hands and show him or tell him you want him back.

If you succeed in winning him over and getting him back, have a conversation about where your relationship went wrong the first time and what you can each do to be better this time.  Take measures to avoid making the same mistakes again so that your future relationship is stronger than ever before.

Move on

If you have tried all these tips to win your ex over again and he doesn’t show any signs of interest or give any signal that he would like to get back together, move on.  Don’t waste any more time on a relationship that your ex clearly isn’t interested in repairing.  Leave the relationship in the past and know when the time has come to admit defeat and move forward.  If you have failed to find out how to get him back then your feelings are obviously one-sided, and you deserve someone who will care for you and love you as much as you love and care for them.  Leave this relationship in the past where it belongs and look to the future instead.

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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