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How to forgive a cheating husband : 5 best solutions


How to forgive a cheating husband when you would rather neuter the swine.

It might be the kindest thought to pass through your mind.

And there will be countless other questions.

Who with, what why when where how why why why.

With all the questions you may want to ask yourself the hard one.

How to forgive a cheating husband ?

 

Infidelity happens for a number of reasons.

None of them are good ones, there are no good ones.

It may be motivated by ego, thoughtlessness or damage on the cheating husbands part.

Or because of smugness, arrogance or an emptiness and the need to know ‘what else is out there’.

 

Perhaps it happens because of a lack of self-control or self respect.

Or because  we want to feel adored, heroic or powerful or as though we really matter.

It happens because there is a moment when the opportunity for this to happen is open and it is tempting.

To feel full of life in the heat of the moment and it’s exciting.

It is there and it seems precious like a secret that can be kept.

As though it won’t cause any harm to anyone at all.

 

The reasons why it happened may never be really clear.

They could go through several lifetimes worth of therapy and still be no wiser as to the real causes.

And really that is a blind alley that goes nowhere except in endless circles tortuously.

Progress could be another road or path one of forgiveness.

But how to forgive a cheating husband?

In accepting that it has happened and you can’t change that fact.

Looking for reasoning in it can be a pointless and continually painful exercise in futility.

Rather find some measure of closure and moving on may be the only option.

Knowing that anger can consume generations you have to find the will and the means to get past it.

And forgiveness can be a route to moving on.

But how to forgive a cheating husband ?

 

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment.

Or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you.

Regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.

 

Forgiveness is not easy to give generally especially when it comes to cheating.

Forgiving someone for most other things is probably easier than how to forgive a cheating husband ?

You forget a birthday or an anniversary.  It can be forgiven.

You could lie and steal and probably be forgiven but cheating…

It’s not that easy to forgive something like that.

But if there is still a lot of love between both people involved in the relationship.

You may consider it worth fighting for.

 

If your partner has been fine up until this point, and this is their first offence.

You might consider working through the problem instead of ending the relationship.

Sometimes, the cheating is a reflection of a bigger problem that’s already in place.

If your partner has genuinely apologized profusely.

And you have worked through the hows and whys of their infidelity.

There might still be hope for your relationship.

 

The dynamic of the relationship needs to improve.

And you need to really think long and hard to figure out if you can really forgive your partner.

Look into yourself, reflect, and see if actual forgiveness is a possibility.

The kind where you are not racked in every waking moment thinking is he being faithful or not.

And this would be a life of agonizing fears  and doubt.

So it will take time a lot of time even to achieve a decision on this matter.

And then living ever after with that decision and how to forgive a cheating husband.

 

Some will say that a leopard cannot change its spots and that is true for an animal.

A man or woman who has strayed before is three times more likely to be unfaithful in their next relationship.

And those who have been betrayed may forgive.

But they never forget and that is the crux of the matter can you forgive and not forget the infidelity ?

 

Finding out that your partner has been unfaithful can hit you like a grand piano dropped from a great height.

Your marriage may be thrown into a state of crisis that may destroy it.

Even if it is possible how to forgive a cheating husband ?

You have to consider that you might not be able to stay with them romantically, and that’s your decision.

That doesn’t mean that you didn’t fight for your relationship.

 

It is natural to want to know why your partner cheated it is usually one of the first questions to be asked.

But there is rarely a simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful.

It could be a symptom of other problems in your marriage.

It could relate to something in your partner’s past.

Or it could be totally unrelated to you or to your marriage.

 

No matter the cause, you’ll have a lot of complicated feelings to get through.

And a lot to think about as you decide how to move forward in this situation.

These five tips can help you cope with the aftermath of betrayal and how to forgive a cheating husband.

 

1.How to forgive a cheating husband : accept your feelings

Acceptance and forgiveness are not things that happen overnight, and both parties should be patient.

Forgiveness and grief are similar as there are stages and you will need to work through them.

You may progress from denial to depression as you process more new information or hurts that arise.

When you grieve, you’re mourning something you have lost.

Hopefully in order to move on with your life when the grieving process is over.

But, you don’t get whatever you lost back.

With forgiveness, you’re also consciously mourning something in this case, being cheated on.

However, should you feel comfortable with it.

By that I mean there is a prospect of having some sort of relationship left at the end of it.

At least you have that possibility of mending your relationship and getting it back.

 

Shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression, and confusion are also normal.

You will likely feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster.

This can last for some amount of time, not really knowing which way is up or forward.

It takes time to get beyond the pain and how to forgive a cheating husband .

Don’t expect the mixture of feelings and the mistrust to go away but in time they will lessen.

Even if you’re trying how to forgive a cheating husband and repair your marriage.

Your marriage has changed irrevocably and it is natural to grieve the relationship you once had.

 

2.How to forgive a cheating husband don’t seek revenge

Being betrayed by your partner can induce anger, rage and frustration a feeling like you want to lash out.

In this furious state, your first instinct may be the want to punish your mate.

Perhaps by bad mouthing  him to friends or worse, on the internet.

Maybe you think that having an affair yourself would even the score and let your partner know how it feels .

If you are intent on punishing your partner, you will both suffer in the long term.

You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of retaliations.

 

But ultimately they can work against you solving nothing creating more problems.

By maintaining you in a state of anger instead of progressing and focusing on healing and moving on.

Regardless of whether you are alone or together.

 

On family

Think before you tell your family, as well.

They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do whether it is to leave or stay.

But nobody else really understands what goes on in another person’s marriage.

And their opinions can further confuse your mind on the issue, having considerations in both camps.

While you are thinking of how you are likely to proceed, it is best to keep the details private.

 

Keep Your Kids Out of It

This situation is between you and your partner and should not involve your children at all.

Unless you  have decided to end your marriage.

Then sharing the gory details about an affair will only cause them anxiety.

Best thing to do is make the reasoning as generic as possible like irreconcilable differences.

Don’t make them feel stuck in the middle, or force them to take sides.

 

Take Care of Yourself

You may have some physical reactions due to stress.

Such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep too little or too much, shakiness, difficulty concentrating, not wanting to eat, or overeating.

Once the initial shock has passed do your best for yourself.

Try your best to eat healthy foods, drink plenty of water, to keep to a schedule and to sleep regular hours.

Try to get some exercise each day it can works wonders for stress and depression.

And, yes do try to have some fun.

 

3. How to forgive a cheating husband : ask lots of questions but avoid the blame game  

Blaming yourself, your partner, or the third party won’t change anything.

And it is just thorough waste of time and energy.

Try not to play the victim, either, if you can help it.

Wallowing in self pity or loathing is not a progressive step either.

It will only make you feel more helpless and bad about yourself.

You should and can continue to ask questions.

Like have they cheated on you or other people in the past?

If someone has developed a pattern of cheating over and over they will continue to do it again and again.

Until someone hopefully you says enough is enough and dumps them brutally.

They need to realize they can’t get away with it.

No second chances in this case.

 

How was your relationship when it happened?

You’ll be much more likely to forgive if you were aware your partner was desperately unhappy.

And the relationship was under a lot of strain or that you were suspicious.

These are not excuses.

But considerations or extenuating circumstances for the state of mind of the marriage at the time.

If you thought you were blissfully happy and didn’t notice a single sign that anything was wrong.

It can be a devastating shock and desperately hard to trust again.

 

If there were no clues last time round, how will you know if it happens again?

Is he willing to prove his willingness by changing job if it was a work affair ?

Or move entirely in order to not have to see the third party ?

Would you still regret having the affair it if it wasn’t discovered?

What do you regret about the affair?

How do you feel about it ending?

How do you feel about what it’s done to us and to me?

Sometime help asking and getting answers to these questions is advisable.

 

4. How to forgive a cheating husband seek professional help and get counseling

Don’t try to get through it alone seek help in coping with unfaithfulness.

Before you taking any decisions about whether or not to leave your husband and end your marriage.

It is suggested  to seek professional help and talk to a couple’s counselor.

Who will be neutral and can help you both gain insight into what exactly happened and how to proceed.

You can ask your partner questions get decent answers and share your feelings without fear of losing your control.

 

An experienced therapist can help you communicate better and process feelings of guilt or shame.

And whatever other issues you might be feeling or having to deal with.

If you do eventually decide to end the marriage, you will know that you tried your best to make it work.

 

5. How to forgive a cheating husband be patient be practical and take it one day at a time

Overall a lot patience is required on both sides if forgiveness is to work.

Give some considerations to practical matters, such as where you will live if the marriage ends.

If you have enough money to pay for the necessary essentials.

And, if you have children together, the type of custody arrangement you want.

 

Every affair will redefine a relationship.

It can not be any other way.

There will be hurt and anger that may linger for a long time.

Both of you will feel lonely and lost for a while.

But if your relationship is worth fighting for.

There is space for growth and discovery.

The pain won’t always feel bigger than you and time heals all wounds.

 

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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