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I need help to get my ex back : 5 ways to do it


We all need help at some stage in our lives.

If you are saying I need help to get my ex back.

You might just need to get your mojo back.

Perhaps the help you need is self help.

I need help to get my ex back could be saying more than you think.

The help you need could be in confidence and approach.

 

After years of gradual relationship deterioration it can happen.

Failing communication issues in a relationship, and off putting interactions.

At least in the eyes of the partner,  can be the final straw.

That suddenly prompted the ex partner to insist that you split up.

 

It sounds like there was a certain amount of laziness had crept into your relationship.

As it does with all relationships.

The seven year itch is a real thing statistics and studies show it.

There is a period were perhaps we get complacent.

In our dealings with our partners after a certain amount of time.

The effort slips and slacks.

Between five to seven years are the low points in many relationships.

Where things can get a little stale.

 

Or you can think that you know your partner inside and out.

So there is nothing new for either of you.

After that amount of time there is a part of you that goes through what I would call the permanence zone.

You have been together that long you may either think this is permanent.

Sometimes a break up can be a wake up call for you to put the effort back in to the relationship.

Giving your partner time to think and reflect on the relationship.

And whether or not to continue with it.

 

There are some common approaches taken by people who say I need help to get my ex back.

Or I want to get my ex back.

Some are good some are not so good.

There are some mistakes that just won’t help the situation at all.

Here I will cover the most common mistakes made by people.

 

Giving them no space won’t help to get my ex back

Everyone needs some space in or out of relationships.

And after a breakup there are naturally some heated feelings.

The partner who initiated the break up will be feeling angry, hurt and perhaps even a bit sorry.

Sorry that the relationship has got to this point.

Where they had or thought they had no other choice other than to split up.

The other partner will be feeling angry at being dumped and a lot of other things besides.

They could feel sad lonely upset.

While at the same time could be feeling love and panic.

Along with the urgent need to fix the problem and to get the ex back.

 

The thing with this is that despite the feelings of love between the couple.

Neither are really in the right state of mind to see or talk rationally or sensibly to the other.

If any attempts are made during this hot period to make contact or even to reunite.

What usually happens is a continuation of the break up mode.

Both will be feeling hurt for various reasons.

And that tends to take over the talk turning it into an argument.

When the best thing to do is to let the heated feelings subside.

Give each person the time to do some amount of processing.

In order to lose the heat of the break up in favor of a more affable demeanor.

 

This would allow both sides to cool down and see what they really want for themselves.

Constantly texting or calling will only add fuel to the fire of the heated emotions.

This can feel like harassment on one side and ignorance on the other.

If one partner refuses to reply or answer the phone.

 

Begging and pleading does not help to get my ex back

Begging and pleading is not a great approach that rarely works.

If it does it doesn’t last for long.

This is a common thought that runs through most people’s minds once the have been dumped.

They may feel the desperate urgency to get the ex back.

So as not to lose the love of their life.

The thing is it might seem a romantic way to get the ex back.

And loving tactic to fall at their feet and pledge undying love.

 

But in reality it does not appear that way to the ex and doesn’t help to get my ex back.

They may just see a sniveling mess who wants to get back together.

Truly it is not an attractive or appealing offer.

It may only further confirm the reasons they broke up in the first place.

Trying to convince them to give you another chance by endless texts, emails and messages.

Does not help to get my ex back it only annoys them.

 

Promising to change is a broken promise if there is no change.

The issues of the break up are valid to at least one person in the relationship.

Valid enough to take that hard road to split up.

If they feel that seriously about those issues there may be the need for change.

If perhaps they were issues that were brought up previously and discussed.

Perhaps there was an agreement made to work on them.

 

If that agreement or those changes were not upheld.

Then promises were broken to all intents and purposes.

Any further promises would be suspect if they were followed without the actions to back them up.

It is easy to say you will change.

But it if you don’t follow through those words are nothing but empty promises.

Talk minus action equals nothing.

So if the issues were prompted by the need for change and they were not met.

Then you will have to prove your words have meaning through action.

 

Getting back on your feet will help to get my ex back.

There is no point in returning to your ex partner looking for a second chance.

Unless you have something more to offer.

And I am not talking about a loving gift, well unless it is their birthday.

But seriously they will not want to get back together with someone who is not attractive to them.

And remember you were attractive to them once.

You two met and dated so there is an attraction there.

 

You can not return to a relationship by being less than that person.

In fact you really need to be a bigger and better person than that.

 

You need to have the confidence to win them back.

You have to show them that they would want to have you back.

This does not come from off the floor in a kneeling begging manner.

 

It comes from the aspect of a strong confident person who knows their worth and value.

You need to show the ex something they might be missing out on.

You want to be able to show them someone with the strength to stand for what they want.

Getting back on your feet can mean taking the time to reevaluate your life and person.

 

List and fix my ex’s complaints will help to get my ex back.

The break up happened for a reason well most do.

If you know what they are, that is the approach you need to take to get them back.

 

Number one reason for break ups is a failure to communicate or communication issues.

If this relates you your break up you need to tackle those issues in a meaningful and clear manner.

Those issues need to be shown to be a thing of the past.

They should be shown to not affect any possible future relationship.

You need to understand why you broke up.

In order to show change and development in dealing with those issues.

 

I mean if the issue was to do with the fact that you did not have a job.

And became too reliant on your partner for support.

You couldn’t expect to get back together by trying to borrow more money from them.

And having no prospect of paying them back could you ?

 

Whereas if you approached the reunion by saying I know it was an issue.

And I have been looking for work and as soon as I get a job.

I will make an effort to pay you back what I owe you.

You are giving yourself better prospects of being taken back.

And you will get more respect and admiration from them.

Through the fact that you are making the effort to tackle the issues that caused the break up.

 

Cleaning up your act will help to get my ex back.

This can mean moving on from the old relationship.

Old habits die hard but in this case the have to die to show progress.

You are not going to have much luck trying to get back together with the same old tricks.

Tricks that probably prompted the break up in the first place.

 

Cleaning up your act can also refer to looking your best to attract their attention.

In long term relationships there can be a tendency to let yourself go.

Because they have been with you for a while.

You can mistakenly believe you don’t really need to try so hard anymore.

The truth is relationships are work and letting yourself go is reflected in the relationship.

As in you don’t need to look your best for them now that you are together.

That is not exactly true.

If you look good for them they will see others looking at you in the same way.

And this makes them value you more.

It is a factor that will help to get my ex back.

It can sound superficial, but attraction is what brought you together.

If you are not paying the same attention to that aspect.

It can be seen as a lack of interest going into the relationship.

And to your partner as well as for yourself.

 

The old relationship is finished but you could have a better one

This is about understanding that the old relationship is over.

You can’t say “I want to go back to where we were in our lives”.

Because that is where you partner decided to end it at.

It has to be a new relationship with a new understanding.

 

It will not be the same old thing again.

Because that old thing is worn out full of holes and it has been trashed and thrown out.

You need to show the issues that prompted the break up are no longer issues.

Issues that will bar the starting of a new and better relationship in the future.

 

And that is the essential thing that would show you to be a better and stronger person.

With more to offer this time through the understanding of the problems.

You have seen the mistakes and have taken the steps to ensure they won’t happen again.

Showing the ability to change after finding problems is a strength.

A strength that makes the future brighter because of it.

There will be problems but the fact that you can deal with them in this manner.

Means that you can get over life’s troubles.

It can make for a better relationship in the end.

Mistakes are only problems if you continue to make them habitually.

They are really opportunities to grow and learn.

 

Reconnect from a position of strength will help to get my ex back.

When you approach the relationship and your ex.

Now you should be in a much better position.

You should understand that you know what you want.

And how to go about getting it.

That is a relationship with your ex.

You should know what went wrong in that old one .

And you should be able to show that you have understood those issues.

And dealt with them in a manner that speaks louder than words.

 

You should be confident in your manner by knowing and tackling the problems.

You should be confident that your ex will see the changes.

And a renewed sense of being brought to bare on the issues.

Having given them the understanding to let them get over the break up

And returned with a passion to try again with renewed vigor.

 

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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