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Getting back with an ex after a year: is it possible?


getting back with an ex after a yearThe desire to get back with an ex after a year puts you in a rather uncertain situation.  It seems impossible.  A lot of time has already passed since you and your ex broke up and it’s possible that he/she moved on long ago and is now seeing someone else.  Is getting back with an ex after a year impossible?  No; but it certainly will not be an easy task, and often a better question to ask is if you should get back together rather than if you can.  Reuniting with an ex after a year will be difficult and each situation will be unique.  In each case, here are some questions you should ask yourself before you attempt to get your ex back after a year.

The breakup

No matter how long ago now, the breakup must still be an important factor in determining your chances of getting your ex back and if you should get your ex back.

Who ended it?

If you ended the relationship then it’s possible that your ex was heartbroken after the breakup.  It probably took them a long time to put the pieces back together and attempt to move on.  This can work in your favour or against you.  If you ended it and it really hurt them, they might still be finding it difficult to move on because they still have feelings for you, in which case you’ll be able to get them back.  However, they might have succeeded in getting past their feelings and moving on, and you wanting to get back together will make them very cautious and suspicious; you hurt them before and they’re not going to want to give you the chance to do it again.

If your ex ended it then you clearly haven’t managed to move on past the breakup, and you need to look objectively at your ex’s situation.  Your ex may have moved on and is now very happy with someone else, but perhaps they can be made to realise that they made a mistake in dumping you.

How did it end?

The circumstances in which the breakup occurred may also hinder or help your chances of getting back together after a year.  If it was an amicable breakup, your ex will remember how great the relationship was rather than the fact that it ended.  You’re probably still on good terms, maybe even friends, and while it can be difficult to go from friends to more than friends, you at least have some level of contact with your ex that will help you if you want to get back together with them.

If you broke up suddenly after a massive argument, your ex will probably still remember the argument more than anything else, but after a year the negative emotions and passion over that argument will have greatly faded, and there are ways in which you can make them reconsider the relationship and remember the good times the two of you spent together.

How long were you together?

You cannot expect your ex to want you back if the two of you had a very short, very temporary relationship over a year ago.  If you were only together for a month before you broke up and a year has now passed, your ex might not even remember your name and you will not have much chance of getting them back; you were just a blip on their radar.

On the other hand, if you were together for more than a year and you and your ex spent a long time together, it’s likely that your ex still thinks about you on occasion.  They experienced many milestones of their life with you, and therefore when they even think back to their birthday party last year, you’re at the forefront of that fond memory.  You were an important part of their life for a long time and a lot of their memories are associated with you in some way, and therefore you should have a good chance of getting back with an ex after a year.

Why do you want to get back together?

Before you think about getting back with an ex after a year, consider your reasons for doing so.  Perhaps when the relationship ended you thought things would be different; that you would move on quickly, find someone else and get on with your life, but that’s not the case.  Maybe it was only when your ex was gone that you realized how much you missed them and how much you loved them.

If you’re feeling lonely, unsatisfied pr unhappy with your love life or other aspects of your life, getting your ex back is not a solution.  You cannot use your ex in this way just to make yourself feel better about your shortcomings; it’s not fair, especially if it took them a long time to get over the breakup; it’s not fair to manipulate their feelings in this way, even if you don’t realize you’re doing it.

You have to make sure that you’re not just considering getting back with an ex after a year for selfish reasons, such as feeling lonely or unfulfilled in other aspects of your life.  If you want to get back together, make sure it is only because you still have feelings for your ex.

Have you tried moving on?

Did you try to move on after the breakup or did you just fall into a rut, not moving forward but unable to go back?  Have you tried to go out and start seeing other people?  If not, you should spend a few weeks going out to bars, chatting people up, or internet dating.  You cannot move on from your ex if you haven’t tried to date other people, so before you try getting back with an ex after a year, you should make sure all other options are exhausted; go out or go online and see other people.  If you still want to get back together with your ex after you’ve tried a little harder to move on and gone out with a few different people, then you can look into the method for getting your ex back.

Are you still in contact with your ex?

Getting back with an ex after a year will be much easier if you still have some level of contact with your ex, no matter how insignificant it seems.  Perhaps the two of you talk on the phone once in a while just to catch up, and make an effort to stay up to date with one another’s lives. If this is the case, you have a good chance of getting your ex back.

Maybe you and your ex decided to be friends after the breakup.  Be careful; this will not make getting your ex back a simple task, no matter how well you know your ex.  When you decided to be friends, your ex put you into the friend zone, and it is almost impossible to escape from there once your ex has made this distinction in their mind, so be careful and subtle about how you proceed.

Perhaps you have had zero or very little contact with your ex since the breakup, and this might make getting back with your ex difficult.  You don’t know what has changed in their life; they may even have gotten married since you last spoke to them.  It may be a little bizarre to call them one day out of the blue, even if you say nothing about getting back together, but in this case you also have to be very careful and proceed with subtlety.

Is your ex seeing someone else?

After a year there is a strong possibility that your ex has moved on and is now seeing someone else.  This can obviously affect any attempt you make to get them back and you should seriously consider your own relationship with your ex and his/her new relationship.  Think realistically about your chances of winning your ex back and weigh up the pros and cons.  There are certain things that you should consider.

How long?

How long ago did your ex begin this new relationship?  If your ex has only been with their new partner for a few weeks or a couple of months, it’s still a new relationship, and you have the advantage of having spent more time with your ex and known each other better.  However, if your ex has now been seeing this new person for almost as long as you have been separated, it’s likely that the relationship is becoming serious, and therefore it will be very difficult for you to come between them.

Is it serious?

Is your ex’s new relationship serious?  Are they living together, getting married or making plans to have children?  It may be difficult for you to know this as an outsider but nevertheless it’s something that you should think about.  Getting back with an ex after a year is already difficult, but if your ex is in a serious relationship with someone else then they have clearly completely moved on from you and you don’t have much chance of succeeding.

Is your ex happy?

No matter how serious your ex’s new relationship is, you should try to take a step back and view it objectively.  Does your ex seem happy?  If your ex seems truly happy and content in their new relationship, you should seriously consider whether or not you want to impose on that.  If it’s a new relationship, you could have a chance of getting them back, but should you?  If you truly care about your ex then their happiness should be your greatest concern, and if your ex is very happy with their life right now you should perhaps think twice about trying to get back with an ex after a year.possible reunion

Is getting back with an ex after a year possible?

Is getting back with an ex possible after a year?  In some cases, yes, in some cases, no, in some cases, you won’t know until you try.  In any case, before you make any attempt to get your ex back, you should evaluate your situation and try to objectively consider your real chances of getting your ex back.  Think back to the breakup, no matter how long ago it was now, and consider whether anything truly hurtful happened over which your ex could still be harbouring some feelings of hurt, anger or bitterness.  Think about the breakup; who ended it and how.  Think about the amount of time that you and your ex were together; if it was a long time then it’s likely that your ex still misses you sometimes, but if not you have to consider that it was only a fling and there may be other reasons that you want your ex back that don’t actually have anything to do with your ex.  Why do you want your ex back?  Do you genuinely believe you could still be happy together or are you being selfish?  Are you and your ex still in contact and has your ex started seeing someone else?  These are all factors that can help you to determine if you have a good chance of getting back with an ex after a year or if it’s a lost cause, hopeless, and you should move on.

Is it advisable?

A better question than if getting back with an ex after a year is possible is if you should get back with them.  When considering this, you need to really reflect on the relationship.  Was it really as great as you remember, or is time warping your memories because you feel alone or because you’ve just had enough time and distance from the relationship now to just remember the good parts?  Don’t let yourself forget about the breakup or anything that went wrong in the relationship just because a year has passed.  If you want to get back with an ex, you need to remember the good parts and the bad parts of the relationship.

Most importantly, if your ex is happy and moving on, you must consider that it may be best to just leave them be.  If you truly care about this person, you need to seriously think about the fact that someone else is making them happier than you did, and you have to consider that moving on and not attempting to get them back may be the best decision you could make.

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com

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