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Get your man back : 8 pieces of advice to make sure he comes back
To get your man back is not that hard, it’s quite simple.
The hard part is doing it without being led by your heart.
I know it led you to him in the first place.
But this is how to get your man back.
It might go against any ideas your heart is telling you.
When it’s suffering heart is not the best guide for recovery.
So here’s the advice:
1 To get your man back cut all contact with him for at least 4 weeks.
What does that mean ?
How can that work ?
No calling him
No texting him
No contacting him online all social media, messages, email, IM
No spending time with friends in common to run into him.
No running into him by accident or by design.
No contact whatever.
There are a couple of reasons for this.
First thing is to get in control of yourself emotionally generally and mentally.
Then get some perspective on the relationship.
After a breakup, everybody gets pretty messed up over it, to say the least.
Trying to get your man back while you’re in that state of mind is only going to make things worse.
Take a real good look at what your relationship really was like.
Getting perspective means you see clearly whether you were happy.
Whether you were right for each other.
Or even if you want to have the relationship back.
He has to then realize how much he misses you.
It also gives you the time to get past the initial phase of missing him.
Moving into a more even tempered, mentality secure position for yourself.
Instead of trying to work out signs your ex still loves you or not.
You’ll be working on yourself and getting into a better mindset.
A mindset that says I don’t need him to be happy I can be happy all on my own.
Second, it’s to give him space to miss you.
And realize that he wants you back for himself.
If you want him to notice how much he misses you.
He has to have the space to notice that you’re gone.
Simple really isn’t it.
So if you’re still in contact with him, he won’t get lonely.
If you’re still having sex with him, he won’t miss the sex and companionship.
If you’re still emotionally engaging with him,
He won’t miss the love and satisfaction of being with you.
If you want to get your man back he has to realize you are gone.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder for a reason.
Cutting off all contact with him he will make him remember all the good times you had together.
And the memories of the bad times and harsh words will fade.
Remember, you don’t have to remind him how much he liked being with you.
He will notice all on his own especially if you leave him alone.
2 The secret weapon to get your man back
An apology letter is another simple and effective means to melt many a heart.
Here’s an example of the type of apology letter you could send if you broke up with him.
And you want to admit your mistakes and get your man back.
I’m sorry for how I contributed to the unhappiness in our relationship.
I recognize now that I’ve said and done things that have pushed you away.
I realize now I’ve unknowingly pushed you away with my mistakes.
I’m interested to learn lessons on how I can do it better next time.
Whether it be with you or someone else in my future.
Some of my mistakes I’ve learned so far are:
I nag and complain too much.
I look to you too much for my happiness instead of having more of a life.
I don’t take enough responsibility for my own happiness.
I get mad when you take space for yourself.
I realize I did not ask for what I needed, I just got upset when you didn’t give it to me
I’m really seeing things differently now and I know I can make a change.
Would you be willing to grab a cup of coffee with me and talk about some of these things?
Just remember that this letter and it’s subject.
Needs to be about what you can do differently.
Not what he can do differently.
This also goes to show you have developed as a person since the breakup.
If there is any hint negativity or reproach whatsoever in it, the positivity of it will be voided.
And it may just annoy him.
3 If you want to get your man back don’t obsess about him
If you’re meant to be with this guy it is meant to be.
And a little time off, to get back to being you, certainly won’t change that.
Especially if you’ve been with him for some time.
The best thing you can do now is push him from your mind and focus on yourself.
Reconnect with those friends you haven’t seen in months.
Get out and about with them and socialize.
Take up old hobbies that you set aside.
Fill your life with meaningful activities to take the focus off how to get your man back.
So take the time to get back to doing the things you used to love to do.
To find again your perspective in your life.
4 Get your man back by hitting the gym.
There’s no better time to get in shape than when you’re down.
The benefits of exercising includes help as a distraction for your mind.
And as an attraction to the body.
It also helps to beat the breakup blues and it is also a social thing.
There is nothing like the exhaustion of a hard workout to help you sleep better.
And to keep your thoughts from wandering.
5 Get your man back by getting stronger mentally
While he notices your absence from his life more and more.
You’re going to be improving yourself, feeling better, stronger, and more independent.
And becoming physically and emotionally healthier.
That means that as you grow as a person, become more comfortable, confident, and happy.
And gain a better perspective on the relationship and the causes of the breakup.
He’ll be thinking about you, missing you, and ultimately wanting you back.
If you never understand and process the emotions from the relationship.
Then those same negative, desperate, and painful emotions will prevent you get your man back.
You can’t do this if your mind is working against you.
An effective way to get over negative emotions is to accept that the relationship is over.
It’s not something to long for, something to hope for, something to obsess over it’s gone.
When you can let go of your relationship.
And accept the fact that at the moment you’re completely single,
It will rid you of the root of any insecurity and empower you to be positive in your life.
Purge all of the reminders of your relationship and the ex boyfriend.
You don’t have to bin them but definitely box them up.
Out of sight is out of mind.
And whatever you do don’t revisit them in a nostalgic mood or at all.
That would defeat the purpose of doing this.
You can also write down his phone number and address on a piece of paper and file it away.
Then delete them off your phone.
Get rid of the pictures on your computer and your phone that remind you of him.
Delete all of his emails and texts so there is nothing to reminisce on.
‘Unfollow’ him from social media so it doesn’t look like you unfriended him.
Take any gifts and physical reminders that you have of him and put them away and out of sight.
Remember, your goal is to have nothing that reminds you of him in your day to day life.
That’s why actively fighting the urge to obsess over him is going to serve you so well in the long run.
The more power he has over you, and the less that you’re able to get over him.
Take out a pen and paper and write down all the things you didn’t like about your relationship.
Everything he did that annoyed you.
All the things you didn’t like about the relationship.
And even all the things you didn’t like about being in a relationship.
7 Reach out and get your man back
At this point, their image of you has changed.
From desperate, needy, and clingy to something else something he is not sure of.
He is almost certainly wondering what you are up to.
He is also thinking about the good times you two had together.
Now that the fresh open wound memories of the breakup have faded.
And therefore, now is the perfect time to strike.
When it comes to reaching out to your ex, the best way is through text messages.
You don’t want to call him right away.
Better to let him build an attraction in his mind.
Before you two talk on the phone.
When you’re breaking the ice and contacting him again.
The best kind of text is one that has a definite reason why you are texting him.
And also gets him reminiscing about you again.
One of the ways is to tell him about something positive that happened in your life that reminded you of him.
Maybe a it is TV show or his favorite movie you saw recently made you think of him.
Maybe you saw a commercial for a destination you both visited on a trip together.
“Hey, I saw a commercial for Ibiza the other day
and it reminded me when we went there for a week together.
That was so much fun, I’m really glad we did that.”
The important thing to remember is that you want to be subtle and positive.
You’re not texting him to try to get him back nor anything like that.
Or to remind him of the relationship or anything with negative associations
You are not even asking any questions.
And too many questions can be overwhelming and he wont answer whatever it is.
The reason you’re texting him is because it would be fun and feel good to talk to him again.
No drama no fuss just a gentle reminder that you can have a civil conversation.
No hidden motivation, manipulation, and no agendas.
Now, a lot of the time, your ex will actually text you first.
And when that happens, you’re going to want to have a good response.
Something that avoids needy desperate and obsessive undertones.
Be light fun and friendly for now.
Don’t talk about how much you miss him.
Or that you want to get your man back.
Don’t text him over and over again.
Give him time and space to respond to your text.
If it is not today wait, being too eager comes across as desperate.
Never send him more than one text message in a row without him texting you back.
8 Ask him to meet up just not a date
The best way to ask your ex out again is not to call it a date.
You want to be friends with him and keep your friendship going.
Calling it a date is going to scare him off.
The most effective way to get him to come out and see you is by calling him.
You can suggest meeting up for coffee or a drink.
With the mindset that they’re a friend you want to meet up with.
Not an ex-boyfriend you want to get back
You will be wearing your cutest outfit and you’ve been working out.
So mind body and spirit should be in harmony.
You will look amazing and you’re having a perfect hair day.
If you’re in a bad mood and have a bad vibe, that’s the only thing he’s going to remember.
It’s important for him to feel comfortable about spending time with you again.
Especially if things ended badly between you.
The contrast between how things felt at the end of your relationship.
And how things feel now is key to get your man back.
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com