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I dream of my ex, what would Dr Freud say about it ?

So you say I dream of my ex ya und sex ya ?

Very interesting…

Is probably what Dr Freud would have to say about it.

The reasons why I dream of my ex can be varied and many.

It could be that cheese you had for supper.

It could be that you found that old shirt they used to wear and were reminded of them.


It is common to dream of my ex when something about the relationship is unresolved.

It is a common type of recurring dream, and it can be quite unwelcome.

The dreamer senses that an important message is trying to get through,

but more often than not, the dreamer, you, would rather just quit dreaming about the person.

Or you take it as a sign that you should get in touch with your ex, but that’s a mistake, too,

Because your ex in a dream is a symbol used in a story.

A versatile symbol with a wide range of possible meanings.


Psychologists are genuinely divided over the function and meaning of dreaming.  

Some psychologists think that dreams are nothing more than the result of random brain activity.

That occurs while we are sleeping

Others accept the perspective of people such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.

That dreams can reveal a person’s deepest unconscious wishes and desires.


Sigmund Freud was a German psychiatrist. 

Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of personality argues that human behavior

is the result of the interactions among three component parts of the mind: the id, ego,

and superego ( wasn’t that my ex ? ).


Freud believed that dreams provide important insight into the unconscious mind. 

He took dreams as a prospectus for the accession of a person’s unconscious.

He suggested that people can deal with their life problems by creating self awareness.


Sigmund Freud emphasized the importance of the unconscious mind.

And a primary assumption of Freudian theory,is that

the unconscious mind governs behavior to a greater degree than people suspect.

Indeed, the goal of psychoanalysis is to make the unconscious conscious.


According to Freud, the great majority of symbols in dreams are sex symbols.  

The number three is a symbolic substitute for the entire male genital.

Whereas the penis alone is represented by long and upright objects.

Such as sticks, umbrellas, poles, trees, or the Washington Monument.  


It can also be symbolized by objects that can penetrate the body and cause injury.

Think of knives, daggers, lances, swords, and firearms especially revolvers.  

Also substituted for male genitalia are objects out of which water flows.

Such as faucets and fountains, or objects that can be elongated

such as telescopes and collapsible pencils.


As much fun as all of this, always keep in mind that a Freudian analysis of dreams is not simple.

It takes many years of training to understand the factors that need to be taken into account.

To conduct a proper interpretation of dreams.

And after all, as Freud himself once said, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”


Dream interpretation is haunted by the conceptual methods of Hermeneutics,

the branch of knowledge that deals with interpretation.

The term Hermeneutics itself derived from the Greek messenger of the gods, Hermes.

This betray its origins in history with mysticism.

It may be remarked that this symbolism does not belong peculiarly to the dream world alone.

But rather to unconscious thinking, particularly that of the masses.


It is to be found in greater clarity in the folklore, in the myths, legends, and manners of speech.

And in the proverbial sayings, and in the current jokes of a nation than in its dreams.

The dream takes advantage of this symbolism.

In order to give a disguised representation to its latent thoughts.


In fact, even though dreams are representations of our subconscious,

we would be mistaken to draw a literal or direct interpretation of them.

They are symbolic. Hence, they are not simply a loyal mirror of our inner reality.


Aristotle wrote a book On Divination in Sleep.

In which he argues that skillful dream interpretation,

calls upon the faculty of observing resemblances.

He then compares dream presentations to the forms reflected in water.

If the motion in the water is great, then the reflection bears little resemblance to its original,

and particular skill is required on the part of the dream interpreter.


“Dreaming, in theory, is living a little.

But to live in a dream is the same as not existing.”

Jean Paul Sartre


In this case you are the patient and the problem is “I dream of my ex”.

This can happen for a number of reasons or causes.

And then the dreams themselves can be interpreted in many ways.


Consider that the act of kissing an ex in a dream does not imply love.

Or loving feelings towards that person.

However, it can be a representation of the need to feel love or be loved.

Just not particularly by the person represented in your dream.


Because that person is a reference point, due to what they meant to you in your life.

And that is why their image can be evoked during a dream, as a past experience.

Because logically, you cannot have it as a point of reference

or evoke in a dream something you have not actually experienced in real life.


Sometimes we think that having a dream about an ex means that we haven’t really moved on.

From the breakup or the individual.

However, that doesn’t have to be the only explanation.

In fact, there are many other reasons why this situation could take place.

Thus, there is no need for you to suffer over this circumstance.


There is also a chance that an ex in a dream represents a part of you.

Maybe it means that you gave up too much of yourself.

And what you love in your past relationship, and it is time to get that back.

Or maybe it means that you are neglecting yourself in some way.


I dream of my ex and missing them  


Dreaming about how you want to get back together with an ex.

Sometimes it does mean that you are still carrying a torch for them.

But it can also just mean that « you miss being in a relationship » and feeling wanted.

Not that your subconscious is suggesting to get back into that relationship exactly.

But instead a relationship to fulfill that representation.


I dream of my ex they are calling me


Because, the person who is calling to you in the dream is likely representing some issue.

Or is someone that is trying to get your attention in real life.

And your dream signifies that you hear the call,

And you are willing to be responsive to it by answering back.


I dream of my ex and they want to get back together


People who are dreaming about a recent ex is that they will dream the ex is professing their love.

And saying ‘I really wish we were back together’ or ‘I’m sorry’ or something along those lines.

That can feel very real when you are in the dream and even when you wake up from it.

So then you are seriously thinking, ‘Maybe my ex really does wanna take me back.’


Well that could not be further from the truth.

That is you wanting that. That is you exploring that.

That is you doing a dress rehearsal with what you hoped was a possibility.


I dream of my ex and we are having sex.

Dreaming of sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other,

or with a fantasy lover may be wish fulfillment.

Alternately, if you spend a lot of time having or thinking about sex in waking life,

it may be a continuation of your waking life thoughts and actions.


I dream of my ex and it is a nightmare…


Abusive relationships leave a deep impression

and tend to be dreamed about long after they are over.  

Re experiencing the trauma can be a way of processing the emotions

and creating psychological distance.

It helps a person heal the hurt and pain experienced.

The process can be aided by actively exploring related thoughts, feelings

and memories of that dream in the cold light of day.


One detail that might seem obvious to you, this type of dream.

If they are especially repetitive, require us to take action.

Be it due to affective deficiencies, current issues,

or because there are tensions to resolve with that ex.

But it goes deeper.

Your dreams want you to become a complete person

and will take every opportunity to help you grow. Adversity is a great teacher.

In dreams pushes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to grow.


Maybe the relationship ended and the resolution was not at all appropriate.

In fact, these dreams can present themselves as mild nightmares.

In these cases, it could means that there are still some topics left to talk about.

And some wounds that need closing in order to bury your old ghosts.


Dreaming about your ex no matter how bad they were, could be a good thing.

Dreaming of your ex is actually a sign that you are making your best effort.

To own the parts of you, you gave over to them, whether good or bad.

And that you have an opportunity to become whole once more.


You may have kicked that person to the curb for very good reasons.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean that your psyche has finished with them quite yet.

I am not saying you want to date this person necessarily.

Just that your subconscious wants to replay the scenarios, to learn from your mistakes.


When relationships end, it does not mean that our connection to the person ends.

On a psychological level, we are still very much involved in working things out.

Working out the projections we placed on this person can take some time after a break up.


Another variable that tends to add to the existence of this type of dream is one’s own insecurity.

It is normal when you are starting a new relationship that we feel previous sensations.

And for us to even compare our current relationship with past relationships.

Hence, memories can arise in the form of dreams.


In these cases, the dreams tend to be sad.

In fact, this denotes insecurity, transmitted by the subconscious during our resting hours.

Actually, it could even be interpreted as a subconscious warning sign.

One given to avoid committing the same mistakes from the past.


What does it mean when I dream of my ex repeatedly ?


Things to note when dreaming of someone repeatedly:


  1. Recurring dream themes or content with this person.

Usually represents the lessons you have to learn from the person.

It could be about your hopes, fears, feelings of feeling at home with the person.

Also, recurring people in dreams, even friends, especially from the past

can symbolize old left over karmic or unfinished business.

That is circling around in your energy field or psychological complexes.


  1. Time element.

How old is everyone in the dream?

If its someone way past, it still means your

living out that energy/trauma/hurt/unfulfilled hope.

That started at that time.

Especially if in the dreams you are both that younger age and appearance.


  1. Symbols.

What do the recurring people in your dreams symbolize to you?

Some are people we see as threatening, some as desirable, some as smart, some as funny.

Some are comrades or someone we would confide in, some as life long loves

and some as unrequited loves.

Your dream could merely be about the symbol.

What other symbols are in the dreams?


On a final note, if you dream about an ex and it is great.

Try to avoid waking up and feeling like crap because the dream isn’t “real.”

It’s sure real enough while you’re having it.

Enjoy it for what it is, it is just a dream.

But please, please don’t take it as a sign to look up your ex.

Wake up and smell the coffee !

Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site

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