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Does my ex still love me : 7 questions to ask yourself
Where to begin ? The relationship has ended. But does my ex still love me ?
Your mind is a messy fog of conflicting thoughts and memories that are not exactly comforting you right now.
There is something that keeps reoccurring, a question you want answered.
Does my ex still love me ?
The thing is regardless of how the question does my ex still love me ? is answered.
The reality of the situation is something else.
You have to face the reality of the situation that is that the relationship has ended.
This is a cold and hard fact.
The best thing to do now is accept the fact.
And first of all learn to live with it.
No matter what the future holds and how you feel about your ex.
Or no matter what the answer is to the question, does my ex still love me?
At this moment in time you are single.
You are without a partner, but you should not feel that you are without love.
And that’s where I am going with this.
Can you honestly say that you have love in your heart being single and without a partner.
This is a hard lesson that you have to learn.
I’m being cruel to be kind.
You have to have the love of yourself first in your heart to be able to really love someone else.
And when you have that, then you may begin to be able to see it reflected in another person.
Then you can more easily recognise it in someone else.
After that you can take a step further and begin to look for the love another has for you.
And that’s where you want to be.
Beyond that you have to face and understand the reasons why the breakup happened.
What caused it?
And the causes are of vital importance in order to progress.
Because without understanding completely the reasons it will hardly make much difference whether your ex does still love you or not.
If you are going to end up in the same situation again and that is not progress.
Questions 1 to answer Does my ex still love me ?
Consider have you done something that could have changed the way they think or feel about you?
First off you have to consider if you have done something that could affect their feelings towards you.
Something that could possibly change the way another person feels about you.
There are some things that can be done that change the way others feel.
They are usually pretty drastic and terrible.
And you would know it.
If there is some event or action on your part the prompted the end of the relationship this can have an effect on their feelings too.
I mean if you slept with a relative of theirs on the day of your ex’s birthday that could possibly prompt a dramatic change of heart.
It is definitely dramatic enough.
But even that may not be drastic enough.
Relationship’s have broken up and recovered from such infidelity.
So there is still hope and questions to ask.
If this kind of thing is just not an option, or as far as you can recall never happened.
Then there are other things to consider.
Question 2 to answer Does my ex still love me ?
What was the state of the union like prior to the break up?
This goes back to the earlier considerations of the causes.
And how the relationship felt in the preceding weeks and months.
Was it fraught with explosive arguments at every turn on petty things.
Or possibly just a one time one off misunderstanding that got out of hand.
Most relationships don’t just end out of nowhere.
The reasons will feed into the state of mind of the partner.
And how they may or may not have changed feelings about you.
Or was the break up a long time coming.
The slow fizzle out of the relationship can be an indicator of a change of feelings.
Over time for whatever reasons your partner may have come to a realization that they don’t really love you.
They just were not forthcoming in making it known.
Highlighting possible issues with a lack of communication.
It is said that the opposite of love in a relationship is not hate but indifference.
And if that is the case then it is hardly likely that your ex still loves you.
But only the two of you will know if this is the case in point.
You will have to look at the relationship without the rose tinted glasses of idealisation.
Seeing the true nature rather than just the good moments.
Question 3 to answer Does my ex still love me ?
What does their Body language say?
Body language can say so much without actually saying anything.
It also is visible, reading it is just a matter of knowing and interpreting the signs.
Like crossed arms is a closed defensive posture.
Open full frontal positions.
As in they face you with their hips and shoulders with open arms, this means that you are the point of focus to them.
If their pupils dilate or get bigger when they look at you.
This is a subtle signal that says you excite them and they find you attractive.
Dilation is an involuntary brain response that occurs when you see something you like and are attracted to something.
Of course you have to be close to see this kind of sign.
Eye contact in general can be seen as a response to attraction.
Though, in recent times, too much can be off putting or can make some feel uncomfortable.
Generally face time, for example, looking at the eyes, nose, mouth is considered a definite sign of attraction.
Women tend to bat their eyelashes when they are flirting.
It is supposed to makes them look vulnerable and cute.
Why would men be any different ?
Well maybe not looking vulnerable and cute bit.
The normal rate of eye blinking is approximately 20 times per minute.
So, if they are blinking more than usual, this could indicate an emotional stress, possibly indicating falsehood.
We also blink faster when we are excited.
Because our eyelid movements reflect bodily arousal levels.
When they show you their front teeth with a smile that reaches almost to the eyes.
This is a demonstration of a Real smile that extends well beyond the mouth.
They lift the forehead and give you slightly squinty eyes.
Eyebrows get raised.
If they raise their brows ever so slightly while you’re talking, it means they are interested in whatever you’re saying.
People tend to use this subconscious expression to help open their eyes when they like what they see.
If you are seeing a smile that involves the whole face, it means you’re genuinely affecting them in a good way.
Consider the distance at which the other person stands from you.
Social norms require an acceptable space of about 4 feet.
When another person moves into that space at arm’s length, or within about 2 feet, this is indicating a desire to get closer to you.
Moving within that 2-foot parameter is a definite signal of interest in intimacy.
Pay attention to where and the type of touch they might engage in with you.
When a person touches your shoulder or arm, they are indicating a fondness and friendliness toward you.
Touching the hand however is a more intimate gesture.
When the person being touched does not pull away, that is a sign that they are open to that show of interest.
When a touch is returned, that is encouragement for the person taking those actions to continue with the approach.
Personal grooming or preening
Watch for signs that they are preening in your company.
Men will often straighten their ties, adjust their pants and smooth their hair.
In an effort to look their best for potential mates.
While women touch their lips, adjust their clothes and expose a little skin.
Preening is a very instinctual mating ritual seen widely throughout the animal world.
It survives in these modern times and after breakups.
Men can have more of a tendency to mistake friendly gestures as sexual flirting.
So women should be careful about the signals they send.
Men also should confirm a woman’s intentions when reading body language to be certain she is actually flirting with him.
Women can be more adept at reading flirtatious body language and often engage in friendly, harmless flirting.
Question 4 to answer Does my ex still love me ?
This Question is about their Behavior
Your exs behavior is another way to see and read their mind so to speak.
As mentioned previously if they act indifferent towards you then it is unlikely that they still love you.
However acting jealous and trying to make you jealous can be motivated by strong feelings.
It can be a sign that they have not gotten over the feelings that they felt in the relationship or felt when it ended.
These feelings can be shown in a negative way or light, even tinged with anger or hurt.
It is that they are hurting and want to make you feel the same way.
Changes in priorities
It’s common for people in love to rearrange their priorities.
The same is also true for those who have fallen out of love.
While we mostly look at a change in priorities as a positive thing.
It can also be something less admirable.
It is important to observe how a person rearranges their lifestyle with regard to you.
Are they making changes out of desire, or as a way to mask their true objectives?
Have they changed the amount of time they take to answer texts or that they make available to you.
Question 5 to answer Does my ex still love me ?
Do they still have the same regards for you
When your ex partner attempts to motivate you, this means the reward pathways of the brain are still at work.
They are still prompted by the feel good factors created during the relationship.
And that they are interested in your well being and development.
On the other hand, if your partner’s frustration about your lack of progress ends or tapers off.
They could be giving up on you.
It could be a display of a lack of interest and indicate a change of heart.
Do they they Respect Your Opinions
Having shared interests is the means to creating a bond in a relationship, it is also possible to have individual interests.
That being said, if he or she shows respect for your opinions and lifestyle choices.
They are demonstrating great love and affection.
However disparaging or putting down the points of view of another person, shows a lack of respect.
And, more importantly, lack of thoughtfulness.
Question 6 to answer Does my ex still love me ?
Do they continue to offer to help even after the breakup?
We all require help sometimes.
If, in these moments, your ex partner is willing to give you a hand,
it shows that they still have love for you.
It could be that you may have to ask or that they happen to offer their assistance voluntarily.
But the fact is that you have their help and they are willing to give you their time.
It is a true test that offers clear proof of affection.
Question 7 to answer Does my ex still love me ?
Do they continue to Trust You?
Trust is the foundation of every relationship
Someone who loves you will offer you the benefit of the doubt.
If your partner is honest with you, and isn’t suspicious of every step you take.
It is a clear and obvious sign that they love you.
According to some, the more mistrust in a relationship, the less love.
To love a person means at least this:
To want to be near them physically.
To make and have time for them.
To want to know everything about them, their story, their moods, what they looks like by moonlight.
To rejoice in the fact of their existence.
To fear their loss, and grieve for their injuries.
To protect them fiercely, mindlessly, futilely, and maybe even tragically
And to be helpless to do otherwise.
To be transformed in their presence lifted, lighter on your feet, transparent, open to everything beautiful and new.
To want to be joined with them, taken in by them, lost in them.
To want the best for them.
If you are seeing some of these traits in your ex then chances are when you ask the question,
Does my ex still love me ?
Its probably yes.
Antoine Peytavin, fondateur du site jerecuperemonex.com